Ugh

A foot of snow in Chicago.

Me no likey.

Lou Dobbs

You gotta be kidding me, Lou. This is from Tom Taylor's Radio-Info.com column this morning...

"Lou Dobbs famously left his perch at CNN back in November (and got paid for doing so). But he continues his United Stations-syndicated afternoon radio show, and now he’s offering “exclusive access” to his further thoughts through a new website. It costs $5.95 a month or $49.95 a year, and USA Today says you get podcasts of the radio show plus additional content like Q&As with Lou, video, and message boards. Oh – and 10% off of the purchase of Lou Dobbs merchandise like his “Don’t Tread on Me” coffee mug."

I'll save you the $50. Here's what you'll hear from Lou if you get exclusive access: "There are too many Mexicans in this country." Consider that a public service. Trust me, you need that money more than Lou does.

Uh oh, radio

This story in the Wall Street Journal has to send a cold chill up the spine of everyone who works in music radio...

"Pandora Inc. has struck a deal with electronics maker Pioneer Corp. that promises to make it easier for drivers to listen to its personalized radio service in cars—bringing Internet radio one step closer to snagging a built-in spot on dashboards. The development represents a direct challenge to broadcasters of satellite and traditional radio, who have long dreaded the arrival of Internet radio in cars.

Starting in March, Pioneer will sell a navigation and entertainment device that allows Pandora users who stream the service on their Apple Inc. iPhones to easily access Pandora in their cars. The $1,200 navigation system, announced today at the Consumer Electronics show in Las Vegas, will detect iPhones and iPod touches that have Pandora installed, and put the consumer's Pandora settings on the navigation screen. That will allow drivers to hear their favorite Pandora radio channels."

Remember radio...the answer to combat iPods and Pandora and all-music internet is not to drop personalities. The answer is to allow personalities to be personalities so that they can add something that those other platforms cannot. That's what you have that they can't duplicate. You have the talent. Let them be the talent.

OK, I'll hop off the soap box now.

Artie Lange

This is not a funny story at all.

Artie Lange is in the hospital. He tried to stab himself nine times.

I've always considered Artie a very funny man...but he's obviously incredibly self destructive. I hope he gets the help he needs so he doesn't turn out like some of the comedy greats (Belushi, Farley, Lenny Bruce, etc) that went before him.

My season ticket upgrade

The Cubs said they were going to give me better season tickets this year, closer to the field. I thought that was awful nice of them.

Hall of Fame

On this day in 1985, two other Cubs were elected into the Hall of Fame too. I don't follow the sport closely, so I'm not sure if they played with other teams too, but they were definitely Cubs.

Alvin Dark

Alvin Dark had a great MLB career. He was a World Series champion, a Rookie of the Year, and a three time all-star.

Unfortunately, none of that happened during his Cubs years.

On the other hand, he was involved in this incredibly unusual play.

Al was born on this date in 1922.

Andre is in the Hall!

Just off the presses...

Andre Dawson is finally in the Hall of Fame!

Preliminary and sketchy details here.





More about Andre's Cubs career at Just One Bad Century...

The story of his signing

His nickname

His mustache

The 1989 Cubs season

The song about him: "He's a Hero" by the Cleaning Ladies

Best ways to quit your job

Not many people are quitting their jobs these days, but Cracked.com has compiled some of the ballsier stories of people quitting. These are people that didn't just burn a bridge, they burned down the whole town (metaphorically speaking of course.)

Read all about it here.

More Wheel of Fortune

This is the 35th anniversary of Wheel of Fortune. The best moments on that show aren't when people guess correctly, it's when they make stupid guesses. Like this one...

Carl Sandburg

I've been researching Chicago in 1918 for a book project. One of the people that lived in Chicago in 1918 was Carl Sandburg. At the time he was Chicago's very first film critic...writing for the Daily News.

Carl Sandburg was born on this day in 1878.

Can you believe he was once a guest on "What's My Line"?

Lovie

The Bears kept Lovie, and in the process of saving a few bucks, lost the best coach available to the Redskins.

Ironically, Shanahan will make less money with the Redskins than Lovie makes with the Bears.

Say it aint so!

From this morning's Sun Times...

"Consumer Reports, dishing out a fresh dose of bleak reality, wants you to know that ShamWow, Slap Chop and the Snuggie are but a few of the informercial-advertised products that do not live up to their pitchmen's bold claims."

NO! That can't be. It's a special TV offer!

This story reminds me of one of my favorite Steve Goodman songs. If you haven't heard it before, it's below. (It's funny)

Wheel of Fortune

The very first Wheel of Fortune aired on this date in 1975. Do you remember who that first host was?

It wasn't Pat Sajack.

Would you believe Chuck Woolery?

Vanna White wasn't on those first few years either. The letter turner was Susan Stafford.

Joke for a Wednesday morning

Contributed by "AH"...




Five rules for men to follow for a happy life:

1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other

1910, 1935

One hundred years ago this week, the Cubs are preparing for yet another NL Pennant winning season (Photo: Big Ed Reulbach).

The Cubs are famous in Chicago, but the biggest stars in the world are the great Impressionist painters. Most of them are still alive; including Degas (dies 1917), Renoir (dies 1919), and Monet (dies 1926).



Seventy five years ago this week, the Cubs are preparing for yet another NL Pennant winning season. Meanwhile, Elvis Presley is born in Tupelo, Mississippi, and Amelia Earhart makes the first solo flight from California to Hawaii. (Amelia grew up in Chicago)

Tiger's new video game

From this morning's Bloomberg...

"Electronic Arts Inc. said it will keep Tiger Woods in the title of its planned online golf game, maintaining support for the world’s top player after other companies dropped him as a pitchman.

“Regardless of what’s happening in his personal life, and regardless of his decision to take a personal leave from the sport, Tiger Woods is still one of the greatest athletes in history,” Peter Moore, president of EA Sports, said in a statement today."

Of course, there will be a few slight alterations to the game so that people won't giggle and titter when they play.

*All ballwashers have been removed.

*You now count the number of shots, not strokes.

*Three golfers playing together are no longer called a "threesome"

And, just to be sure mistakes are not repeated...

*When you check your lie, a lawyer is there to help.

Terror, by Yemen

Good to have Jon Stewart back last night. It seems to help somehow...

Terror 2.0 by Yemen

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

The Colbert Deposition

Stephen Colbert has been deposed as part of the Viacom/YouTube lawsuit.

The details are here.

YouTube lawyers also deposed, according to this article, Jon Stewart and the creators of South Park.

If this goes to trial, it could be one of those show trials we all seem to enjoy so much.

Timing, Tiger

Whoops.

Remember when you thought, oh what the heck, my reputation could use a little bad boy bravado? I'm just too darn squeaky clean.

Looks like that shirtless photo spread you approved before the scandal broke wasn't such a good idea in retrospect.

The new voice of CBS News

Morgan Freeman's voice has replaced Walter Cronkite's voice introducing the CBS News with Katie Couric. (Read the article about it here.)

I think it's a great choice. Everybody loves Morgan Freeman. I know I've been a fan since I was a little boy. Remember him on the Electric Company? Here he does a song with Rita Moreno...

The Real Ron Wood

According to his ex, the Russian former waitress.

Cocaine, booze, cigarettes, and a "I dare you to get this disgusting visual image out of your mind" description of their sex life.

Old Hoss and Old Horse

Old Hoss was Cubs great Riggs Stephenson, who was born on this date in 1898. (Read all about him here.)

Old Horse is Mr. Ed, who debuted as a television star on this date, 49 years ago. Remember when he tried out for Leo Durocher?

Both have, sadly, been dead for many years.

Warren Beatty

According to a new unauthorized biography coming out soon, Warren Beatty has slept with "12,775 women, give or take, a figure that does not include daytime quickies, drive-bys, casual gropings, stolen kisses and so on."

I'm just going to do the math on this.

He supposedly lost his virginity at age 20, which was in 1957. That means he has been "active", shall we say, for fifty three years.

If he had the same number of women every year, that comes out to 241 women a year.

I know what you're thinking: Big whoop. That means he had 124 potential days of monogamy a year. By Hollywood standards, that's nearly saintly.

Yes, but you're forgetting that he's been married for almost 18 years now. So, that means he hasn't been with another woman for 18 years (cough).

So, we have to assume he had all of those 12775 women during his 35 years of bachelorhood. That comes out to 365 or so different women a year.

A different woman every single day.

For 35 years.

And one has to assume there were at least a few repeat customers. That doesn't figure into the total at all. Neither do the "daytime quickies, drive-bys, casual gropings, stolen kisses and so on."

My question is this: How did he ever find the time to make movies?

How big is Facebook?

Would you believe that it was more popular than Google for two days?

The story is here.

That's pretty impressive.

The last Beatles recording session

Today is the 40th anniversary of the Beatles last recording session. According to my geeky Beatles books, the song they worked on was George Harrison's "I me mine."

The day he played it for the rest of the guys in the band is captured forever in the film "Let it Be."

I'm with her...

This is Marie Claire editor in chief Joanna Coles. Her New Years resolution is as follows...

"I was rather abstemious in 2009 so I am planning on more fats, more alcohol and much more advertising.”

I'm with her, but I must admit I did have to look up abstemious.

(For my fellow dummies it means: "sparing or moderate in eating and drinking; temperate in diet", so I guess I wasn't abstemious in 2009. In fact, since Thanksgiving or so, I've been downright gluttonous.)

Marlon Byrd

I think Chicago Tribune columnist Phil Rogers and I are the only two people who think signing Marlon Byrd was a good idea for the Cubs.

It's not like I'm excited about it, but neither is Phil. We're just saying...it's not as bad as their moves last off-season.

At least this will put Kosuke back in right field (where he is a very good defender) and improve the outfield defense.

Look, I'm just trying to find the positives here. Isn't this Cubbie Kool-aid drinking season?

The Beatles

I was at a party last week and something happened that I can't quite shake. We were having a normal cocktail party conversation about Beatles Rockband, when the person I was talking to announced that she hated the Beatles.

Now, I've run into this before. It's not like everyone has to love the Beatles. There are people that prefer classical music, for instance, which is perfectly acceptable. Or there are people that prefer heavy metal or rap, which is understandable. I wouldn't even be bothered if the person preferred the Rolling Stones (or some other legendary rival)...it happens. I know a lot of people that feel that way.

But you'll never believe what band she preferred. I'm not making this up: The Monkees. That's right. Hates the Beatles, loves the Monkees.

That's like hating natural fabric and loving polyester.

My jaw dropped that day, and it remains in the dropped position.

Rush will be back this week

From this morning's Tom Taylor column...

"Limbaugh will be making guest appearances on his show today and tomorrow. Syndicator Premiere says he’ll take it easy and won’t be back to his radio show full time until Wednesday...Rush says everything’s fine, health-wise. He staged a press conference at the hospital on Friday to announce that his heart’s okay and that “the angiogram showed literally no heart disease or arterial disease whatsoever.” That’s a good thing for a 58-year-old guy who’s a dedicated cigar smoker, much less somebody who’s had a few previous health scares like his deafness in 2001 and the prescription pill mess a couple of years later. Rush says he’s not using painkillers now, though he is taking the anti-inflammatory drug prednisone. (Some folks think the prednisone could’ve produced the chest-pain symptoms.) Rush says “there’s nothing wrong with the American healthcare system”, based on his recent experience. You’d certainly hope that a guy who banked a $100 million signing bonus last Summer can get decent medical attention, right?"

I'm glad the guy's not dead or dying (it would have been a huge blow to the radio industry), but it sure didn't take long for me to hate him again.

Father Knows Nothing

Happy New Year!

I'll be back to full-time blogging starting tomorrow, but for today I just posted my latest "Father Knows Nothing" column at NWI Parent. It's the Kaempfer family's annual parody of sappy Christmas letters.

You can read it here.