Have a nice Easter

Have a nice Easter weekend. I'm taking this weekend off from blogging. No new Chicago Radio Spotlight or Father Knows Nothing (until Monday).

Try not to eat too much candy.

Jokes for a Friday morning

Child Rearing FAQ, Contributed by "KK"

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A: If it's the flu, you'll get better.

Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
A: 'Cause you're fatter than they are.

Q: What's the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a model?
A: Nothing (if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him).

Q: How long is the average woman in labor?
A: Whatever she says divided by two.

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth?
A: It means that the baby's mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse.

Q: What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?
A: When you see teeth marks.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

The Monster

He was a great relief pitcher in the 1960s. So great, that they nicknamed him "The Monster."

He was also on the Cubs.

Read about Dick Raddatz here.

He was born on this day in 1937.

Billy Williams gets a statue

Here are the details on the Billy Williams statue.

Consider me one of the people applauding this move by the Cubs. Billy is one of my four all-time favorites (along with Ernie, Fergie, and Jose Cardenal).

When I played little league, I tried to imitate him once. I spit in the air and tried to hit the spit (which is what Billy did every time he came up). I missed and never tried it again.

I've featured Billy on Just One Bad Century several times. You can check it out here, here and here.

If you'd like to see Billy hit a home run in the 1964 All-Star Game, click here.

Lou Gehrig

On this day in 1938, Lou Gehrig was on top of the world. He was in spring training getting ready for another championship season (the Yankees would beat a certain team from the north side of Chicago), and his first movie, "Rawhide," was premiering in New York.

This would be his last season of baseball, and his last movie...

April Fools

I'm buckling up today, and you should too. It's April Fools Day. (My son Sean has been gearing up for this all week. I'm watching my back)

And yes, this is the night that Fox News decided would be perfect to debut the Sarah Palin show. (That's not a joke, her show airs tonight)

David Lee Roth

Exactly twenty five years ago today David Lee Roth was thinking that he was the brains and the draw behind Van Halen. He had a big hit (video below), so he told Van Halen that he would see them later. He left the band.

Now it's called "pulling a David Caruso"....

Cigarette Ads

On this day in 1970 President Nixon banned cigarette ads on television.

This is one of the last ads that aired.

You can take Salem out of the country but, you can't take the country out of Salem.

Bob Newhart

On this day in 1978, "The Bob Newhart Show" aired it's final episode.

The show was based in Chicago, and starred a Chicago Cubs fan, so it's only natural that one episode would revolve entirely around the Cubs.

You can watch it here.

Aaaah, spring.

Sat out on the deck tonight, smoked a cigar (my first of the year), listened to the Blackhawks game on WGN, and it felt like I had gone to heaven.

I'm a simple man.

1910/1935

100 years ago this week, the Cubs are preparing for another pennant winning season. Their third baseman is slated to be the mercurial Heinie Zimmerman; a terrible fielder, but a great hitter. Meanwhile, in Ohio, the Wright Brothers are preparing for their first and only flight together.



75 years ago this week, the Cubs are preparing for another pennant winning season. Their third baseman is slated to be Smiling Stan Hack, their great leadoff hitter and slick glove man. Meanwhile in Los Angeles California, Herp Albert is born. He'll start playing the trumpet when he's 8. Hack will still be the Cubs third baseman then.

LBJ gets some pants

This is one of the most priceless presidential tapes I've ever heard. It's from 1964.

LBJ is on the phone with Mr. Haggar of Haggar pants, ordering pants, and requesting very specific alterations to the ones they already sent. You gotta hear it.

Now this is music...

As I post this video, it has been viewed on YouTube nearly 4 million times. It has been rated 5 stars nearly 25,000 times. If you aren't already among the many fans, feel free to sample it here. Words do not do it justice, which is probably why it doesn't actually have any words.

Ripper

Ripper Collins was the Cubs first baseman after Charlie Grimm retired as a player, and before Phil Cavaretta was given the full-time job in the mid-1930s.

Read all about him here.

He was born on this day in 1904.

Passover Treat

OK, you probably know I'm not Jewish.

But did you know that I was once interviewed for a thirty minute television show by an actual Rabbi?

It happened five or so years ago, and you can see it now...

Cy Young

Cy Young turns 143 today.

I found this video on YouTube, and I was fascinated. Maybe you will be too. It features old timers from the deadball era talking about what baseball was like in their day. The interviews were conducted in the 1950s and early 1960s when each man was already in his 80s.

You'll hear the voices of Detroit Tigers great Wahoo Sam Crawford, Pirates and Reds great Hans Lobert, New York Highlanders/Yankees third baseman Jimmy Austin, and finally two of the greatest players in baseball history: Ty Cobb and Cy Young.

Jokes for a Monday morning

Southern Jokes...contributed by "AH"





GEORGIA
The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000 minus 14%, how much would you take off?" The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings."

LOUISIANA
A senior at Louisiana was overheard saying, "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ..." When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world."

MISSISSIPPI
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!" Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?" The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."

NORTH CAROLINA
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man replied, "I have a flat tire." The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?" The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put ‘flares’ in the front and ‘flares’ in the back. I never did understand it neither."

TENNESSEE
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?" The driver replied, "Bout whut?"

SOUTH CAROLINA
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head?" "Yep", he replied. "That's why I dumpin it here, cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage'.

Phil & Jimmy

Phil Cavaretta was one of the all-time great Cubs. He played for them in the 30s, 40, and early 50s. That's why this story is so hard to read.

Let's just say, his stay with the Cubs didn't end well. It ended on this day in 1954.






Jimmy Archer was a Cubs catcher a hundred years ago. I like to call him the Bionic Cub.

Why? The full story is here.

Jimmy passed away on this day in 1958.

Father Knows Nothing

I just posted my latest Father Knows Nothing column at NWI Parent. This one is called "Giving the finger" and it's about my youngest son's latest injury.

You can read it here.