Saturday, March 17, 2012

St. Patrick's Day

Yes, I realize I'm not Irish, but my wife is Irish, and therefore, my boys are partially Irish too. The picture on the left was taken at one of our many St. Patrick's Day parades. That's Bridget and me with our baby boy Tommy in 1997.

I always enjoyed the South Side parade, which has sadly been discontinued. A few years ago I asked my friend Brendan Sullivan to write a guest blog for me about growing up South Side Irish, which is something I like to feature every year. Brendan has since become my co-author. We co-wrote "The Living Wills"

Of course, St. Patrick's Day also wouldn't be complete without a bunch of Irish jokes. Enjoy the following crop contributed by "CM"...

Irish Jokes

Two Irishmen, Patrick Murphy and Shawn O'Brian grew up together and were lifelong friends. But alas, Patrick developed cancer, and was dying. While on his deathbed, Patrick called to his buddy, Shawn, "O'Brian, come 'ere. I 'ave a request for ye." Shawn walked to his friend's bedside and kneels.

"Shawny ole boy, we've been friends all our lives, and now I'm leaving 'ere. I 'ave one last request fir ye to do."

O'Brian burst into tears, "Anything Patrick, anything ye wish. It's done."

"Well, under me bed is a box containing a bottle of the finest whiskey in all of Ireland. Bottled the year I was born it was. After I die, and they plant me in the ground, I want you to pour that fine whiskey over me grave so it might soak into me bones and I'll be able to enjoy it for all eternity."

O'Brian was overcome by the beauty and in the true Irish spirit of his friend's request, he asked, "Aye, tis a fine thing you ask of me, and I will pour the whiskey. But, might I strain it through me kidneys first?"

* * * * *

Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish, are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes in total", says the Genie.

The Scottish guy says, "I am a fisherman, my Dad's a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity." So, with a blink of the Genie's eye FOOM! the oceans were teaming with fish.

The Englishman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around England, protecting her, so that no one will get in for all eternity." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye POOF! there was a huge wall around England.

The Irishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, protecting England so that nothing can get in or out."

The Irishman says, "Fill it up with water."

* * * * *

An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison, and he didn't know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old man wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, "For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!!!!!"

At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns. Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next.

His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."

* * * * *

Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously To the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter, Patrick blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into Guinness Beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of Guinness on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. Michael looked disgustedly at Patrick whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going Patrick! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat!

* * * * *

An Irishman and an American were sitting in the bar at Shannon Airport.

"I've come to meet my brother," said the Irishman. "He's due to fly in from America in an hour's time. It's his first trip home in forty years".

"Will you be able to recognize him?" asked the American.

"I'm sure I won't," said the Irishman, "after all, he's been away for a long time".

"I wonder if he'll recognize you?" said the American.

"Of course he will," said the Irishman. "Sure, an' I haven't been away at all".

* * * * *

His wife had been killed in an accident and the police were questioning Finnegan.
"Did she say anything before she died?" asked the sergeant.
"She spoke without interruption for about forty years," said the Irishman.


* * * * *

A young gentleman sitting at a bar with his pet pig asks for a couple of drinks. The confused bartender said no animals were allowed at the bar. The man proceeded to say "Ah, but this is a very special pig. Just last week there was a fire in the house and that pig came charging out of his pen into the house and woke us all up. Then a few days later my son fell into the pool and that pig was grazing out on the lawn, and he came running and jumped into the pool and saved my son. ""Well " said the bartended "I guess this pig is very special so I'll get him a drink. By the way I noticed that he is missing one leg, what happened? " "Well said the young man, when you got a pig this good you don't eat him all at once !!!"

Cubs 365, March 17

Every day in 2012, the Just One Bad Century blog will feature a story about this day in Cubs history. We're calling it Cubs 365.

On St. Patrick's Day 1899, future Cub Charley Root was born.

In 1969 he was named the all-time greatest Cubs righthander, but despite all his accomplishments, he'll always be most remembered for something that never happened...Babe Ruth's called shot during the 1932 World Series. Root always denied that Ruth really did it.

"He was just saying he had one strike left," Root insisted. The man that gave up the supposed "called shot" had a reputation as a headhunter, which is why it's doubtful Ruth actually called the shot.

How much of a headhunter was he? One time Charley was hit in the elbow by another pitcher (Adolpho Lugue). When he got back to the mound, he knocked down all nine guys on Lugue's team. One after another, bang, bang, bang. He was going to keep going but the umpire finally stepped in after he got every guy once.

How much of a headhunter was he? His nickname was "Chinski" because he wasn't afraid to throw the ball right at your chin.

Root pitched in four different World Series for the Cubs, but never won a post season game (0-3, 6.75 ERA in the WS). He did, however, win over 200 games for the Cubs (the only pitcher who ever did).

When he retired in 1941, he was given a station wagon, a desk clock, a casting rod, $50 in gas coupons, and a live pig.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Coming this weekend

I'm out of town, so I won't have a Chicago Radio Spotlight interview this weekend.

However, there will still be Cubs 365 updates and This week in 1908 and 1945 at the Just One Bad Century website, and I will post a Father Knows Nothing column at NWI Parent.

Also, tomorrow I'll have a tribute to St. Patrick's day.

Have a great weekend!

Countdown to "Down at the Golden Coin"

The pre-orders are coming in for "Down at the Golden Coin" by Kim Strickland. We'll be shipping out those orders on March 20th, the official release date of the book.

Here's another date to remember: March 23, 2012. Exactly one week from today.

That's the date of the official book launch party for "Down at the Golden Coin". It will take place at the August House Studio, on 2113 West Roscoe Street in Chicago from 6-9pm.

Author Kim Strickland will personally autograph your copy if you come out that night.

See you there!

Cubs 365, March 16

Every day in 2012, the Just One Bad Century blog will feature a story about this day in Cubs history. We're calling it Cubs 365.

On this day in 1952, Cubs fan and future NPR commentator Scott Simon was born. How big of a Cubs fan is he? This is from official bio...

"Scott is a native of Chicago and the son of comedian Ernie Simon and Patricia Lyons Simon. His hobbies are books, theater, ballet, British comedy, Mexican cooking and 'bleeding for the Chicago Cubs.'"

Simon also wrote a book that tells all about his Cubs love (in addition to his love of the other Chicago sports teams) called "Home and Away: Memoir of a Fan". It was published in the spring of 2000, and topped the Los Angeles Times nonfiction bestseller list for several weeks.

One of the best passages of that book was about the Cubs. The season of 1969, painful for a Cubs fan to recall because of its wonderful beginning and slow death in September, is recounted as a tragedy, unlike the version you will hear from Mets fans. Here he is talking to Charlie Rose about that book and his NPR program. In this interview, he calls Chicago the best sports town in the world, and explains the difference between a Cubs fan and a Sox fan.

Scott Simon is no longer based here, and he is not really a Chicagoan any more, but can there ever be a doubt how deeply the Cubs virus has bored its way into his system?

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Countdown to "Down at the Golden Coin"

The pre-orders are coming in for "Down at the Golden Coin" by Kim Strickland. We'll be shipping out those orders on March 20th, the official release date of the book.

If you'd like to get a feel for the book, Kim has posted the first chapter on her website. You can read it here.

Now that you're hooked, go to the Eckhartz Press store and pre-order your copy today. The first one hundred orders will receive a thematically appropriate golden dollar coin (which may or may not feature the man who wrote the first chapter of American history. He probably didn't post: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness" on his website, but you get the point.)

Cubs 365, March 15

Every day in 2012, the Just One Bad Century blog will feature a story about this day in Cubs history. We're calling it Cubs 365.

March 15 is also known as The Ides of March. Some think of it as the day that Julius Caesar met his demise, but here in Chicago we think of our great Chicago band "The Ides of March".

They had some big hits in the late 60s, early 70s (including "Vehicle"), but in 1998 they also contributed a great song to Cubs lore. It's called "Finally Next Year". Unfortunately the team didn't live up to the song.

Listen to it here.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Robert Temple Ayres

You may not know the name Robert Temple Ayres, so if you heard he passed away this week at the age of 98, it may not have affected you.

It did affect me, however, because Robert Temple Ayres is the artist that created the flaming Bonanza map.

And the book that Brendan and I wrote, "The Living Wills", will almost certainly one day be recognized by the Guinness Book of World Records as the novel with the most references to Bonanza of all time. We even referenced that burning Bonanza map in the pages of "The Living Wills".

We mourn the passing of Robert Temple Ayres.

Countdown to "Down at the Golden Coin"

The pre-orders are coming in for "Down at the Golden Coin" by Kim Strickland. We'll be shipping out those orders on March 20th, the official release date of the book.

You may or may not realize that in addition to being an author, blogger, and mom, Kim Strickland is a pilot for a major airline. That explains the nice write up in the current issue of Air Line Pilot Magazine.

Here's a little taste: "Kim Strickland crafts an intriguing and curious tale in the Golden Coin Laundromat, and the reader will be invested in this story as it unfolds, as truths are learned, and as Annie's reality is affirmed."

"Down at the Golden Coin" will send you soaring. Pre-order your copy today. The first one hundred orders will receive a thematically appropriate golden dollar coin (which sadly, will definitely not feature the face of any president that served since the Wright Brothers' first flight. They did that during Teddy Roosevelt's presidency, and his golden dollar coin doesn't come out until next year. At best, you may get one featuring the face of Grover Cleveland. At least he was still alive when the Wright Brothers flew at Kitty Hawk.)

Cubs 365, March 14

Every day in 2012, the Just One Bad Century blog will feature a story about this day in Cubs history. We're calling it Cubs 365.

On this day in 1908, the new Cubs uniform debuted, the first one ever to sport a "Cubs" logo. The logo features a bear holding a bat. This logo cements the Cubs name, which is really only a few years old at the time.

However, that uniform didn't arrive to their spring training facility in Mississippi without issues. Manager Frank Chance actually forgot the suitcase with the uniforms at the train station in Chicago. It was recovered and sent down to the Cubs, but Chance didn't have a key to open it. So, he enlisted the help of the porter who "trains the bulldog that fights the badgers". The porter's bulldog managed to get it open in time for the Cubs first game.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Countdown to "Down at the Golden Coin"

The pre-orders are coming in for "Down at the Golden Coin" by Kim Strickland. We'll be shipping out those orders on March 20th, the official release date of the book (which, by the way, is exactly one week from today!)


The Monthly Aspectarian is a Chicago area magazine Dedicated to Awakening Consciousness, and they recognize a book that appeals to their readers when they see one. In the current issue, which you can download here, they do a nice write up about Kim's "Down at the Golden Coin".

It's on page 19.


The Monthly Aspectarian has got the right idea. "Down at the Golden Coin" will awake your consciousness. Pre-order your copy today. The first one hundred orders will receive a thematically appropriate golden dollar coin (which may or may not feature the face of James Madison, widely considered the most "enlightened" president in history.)

Just One Bad Century returns

I don't think I've mentioned it on this blog yet, but my website Just One Bad Century came back for the 2012 season last week. Every day this season there will be a new feature in the "Feature of the Day" box.

Just last week, you missed...

Cubs Hall of Famer Hoyt Wilhelm

Great Nickname: Blimp

Tale from a Bad Century: Steve Stone Quits

Tale from a Bad Century: Harry hangs up on the President

Sights & Sounds: Curt Schilling mocks Sammy, Belushi & Mantegna discuss the Cubs

This week in 1908

This week in 1945

OK, you're up to date. Feel free to swing by the site every day for a different feature. Today's nickname is ready for your perusal.

Also, if you're a Cubs fan, please "LIKE" Just One Bad Century on Facebook. I'm much more diligent about updating that site with all the different stories I'm posting from Cubs 365, to the JOBC website, to all the latest news about the Cubs. (Believe it or not, even more stuff than I post here).

Cubs 365, March 13

Every day in 2012, the Just One Bad Century blog will feature a story about this day in Cubs history. We're calling it Cubs 365.

On this day in 1964, Cubs nemesis Will Clark was born. In the 1989 NLCS between the Cubs and the Giants, Will Clark was a one-man wrecking crew.

In Game 5 of that series he hit a bases loaded single to win the game for the Giants in the bottom of the 8th, and eliminate the Cubs from the playoffs. Clark hit .650 in the series, with 13 hits and 6 extra base hits, and was named the series MVP.

He was booed in Chicago for the rest of his career.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Countdown to "Down at the Golden Coin"

The pre-orders are coming in for "Down at the Golden Coin" by Kim Strickland. We'll be shipping out those orders on March 20th, the official release date of the book.

Kirkus Reviews has read Kim's book, and they posted their very positive review on-line. You can read the full review here. This is our favorite part...

"Strickland, in her second novel, effectively combines the earnestness of Frank Capra’s It’s a Wonderful Life with the didactic voice of The Secret. With its timely, relatable story peppered liberally with pop-culture references and religious conviction, Strickland’s novel should strike a chord with readers who will relate to Annie’s struggles and search for a happier future. A lesson in faith and the power of positive thinking, all nestled within a satisfying story."


"Down at the Golden Coin" is guaranteed to make you think. Pre-order your copy today. The first one hundred orders will receive a thematically appropriate golden dollar coin (which may or may not feature the face of Benjamin Harrison, a president that is not related to Beatle George in any way.)

Going to Arizona

On Wednesday morning, I'm hopping on a 7am flight, and heading to Arizona to catch a few spring training games. I've never been to spring training before. I've been told that I can't officially be called a "baseball nerd" until I do so.

Wednesday afternoon I'll be watching my buddy Albert Pujols playing for his new team (against the White Sox), and on Thursday I'll be in the stands for the Cubs-Diamondbacks game. Friday it's the Cubs vs. the Giants.

It figures that the week I decide to go to sunny Arizona, it warms up in Chicago. On Wednesday it's going to be 83 in Phoenix, but it will also be 78 in Chicago.

Cubs 365, March 12

Every day in 2012, the Just One Bad Century blog will feature a story about this day in Cubs history. We're calling it Cubs 365.

On this day in 1939, future Cub Johnny Callison was born. The Cubs acquired him in November of 1969, in a trade that they hoped would put them over the top. They traded pitcher Dick Selma (who had been a favorite of the Bleacher Bums because of his cheerleading routine from the bullpen) and a young prospect, to the Phillies for the former all-star outfielder.

Unfortunately for the Cubs, that young prospect turned out to be Oscar Gamble. Gamble was only 19 years old at the time, but he had already gotten a taste of the majors with the Cubs.

How did that trade turn out? Gamble played in the majors until 1985, hitting 200 home runs. Of those 200 home runs, only one of them came for the Cubs. He went on to play in the World Series for the Yankees, and hit .358 for them in 1979. Most horribly, his best season was with the Southside Hitmen 1977 Chicago White Sox.

Callison had one semi-decent year, then was done. Needless to say, he wasn't the final piece to take them over the top.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Father Knows Nothing

This week's Father Knows Nothing column is a tribute to my middle son Johnny, who is celebrating his 14th birthday this week.

You can read it here.

Cubs 365, March 11

Every day in 2012, the Just One Bad Century blog will feature a story about this day in Cubs history. We're calling it Cubs 365.

On this day in 1933, the Cubs experienced the downside of conducting their spring training in California. During an exhibition game in Los Angeles between the Cubs and Giants, a substantial earthquake occurred. Players from both teams huddled around second base until the tremors stopped.

The earthquake caused serious damage from Los Angeles south to Laguna Beach. Property damage was estimated at $40 million, and 115 people were killed. The earthquake was felt almost everywhere in the 10 southern counties of California. (Photo: The CSU Dominguez Hills Archives and Special Collections - South Bay Photography Collection)

Players on those two teams included Cubs Hall of Famers Gabby Hartnett, KiKi Cuyler & Billy Herman, and Giants Hall of Famers Mel Ott, Bill Terry, and Carl Hubbell.

The Giants didn't seem too affected by the quake. They went on to win the National League (the Cubs finished in third, six games back) and then beat the Senators in the World Series, 4 games to 1.