Matt Garza

The Cubs made a trade to acquire a pretty darn good starting pitcher: Tampa's Matt Garza. Garza has been pretty good the past few years, he's only 27, and he's affordable. It's true that he has been a little inconsistent, but he also has the potential to be great (he's already thrown a no-hitter).

What do you think?

Phil Rogers of the Tribune isn't a fan of the deal, because they gave up an awful lot to get him (4 highly rated prospects and Sam Fuld). Bruce Levine of ESPN thinks the high price was worth it.

I think it's a little early to judge this. To those Cub fans (and Phil) that are outraged (and I'm hearing from you already), keep in mind that Cubs minor league prospects are never as good as we think they are (remember "can't miss" Corey Patterson and Felix Pie?).

The Homeless DJ reunites with his mom

Snow Art

"MD" (not a medical doctor) submitted this drunk snowman. She says that the Ellen show is collecting Funny Snow Art pictures. You can check out their site here.

The Conservative Constitution of the United States

I'm not accustomed to finding humor in the pages of the Washington Post, but this surely qualifies: The Conservative Constitution of the United States of America.

Pretty funny in light of the events of this past week.

I'm sure someone can (and will) write a liberal version that is just as snarky.

U of I vs. Northwestern

Big win last night in Big Ten Basketball. Illinois beat Northwestern by 25 points.

That's four points more than they beat them in football at Wrigley.*

(*A little post for my Northwestern friends)

O'Reilly's Super Bowl Interview

Bill O'Reilly will be doing an interview on Super Bowl Sunday as part of the pre-game show (the Super Bowl is on Fox this year).

You'll never guess who he'll be interviewing...

President Obama

Somehow I don't think this is going to be one of those softball kind of interviews you usually see with politicians at major sporting events.

Parallel Parking Mule

Very impressive, but I'd like to see him do it with the car (or mule) behind him honking impatiently...

Neologism

These were sent to me by "MM," who says they're from the Washington Post (although I couldn't find a link). Nevertheless, they're good. (My favorite is #13)

Neologism means alternate definitions of real words...

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulance (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Resolution in NPR/Juan Williams debacle

From Tom Taylor's Radio-Info.com column this morning...

"Juan Williams wasn’t on the clock for NPR when he said (on Fox News) that the sight of airline passengers in Muslim garb made him nervous. But NPR Vivian Schiller justified firing the 10-year senior news analyst because she said the incident was part of a pattern. But it didn’t go down well in the 24-hour cable world, and that induced the NPR board to commission a thorough investigation by the outside law firm of Weil Gotshal & Manges. Now we’ve got the report, and Senior VP for News Ellen Weiss is falling on her sword - she resigns after 28 years there. CEO Schiller keeps the gig she’d had for a bit over one year (coming from NYTimes.com). But she’ll be deprived of her 2010 bonus."

I'm guessing that after going through a bunch of hearings at the new out for blood GOP-controlled Congress, the NPR CEO will wish that she had been fired instead.

The Drive is 10

I remember the debut of the radio format "The Drive" (ten years ago next week) very well. I was working on the competition at the time (Oldies 104.3), and we weren't too concerned.

Boy were we wrong.

Our station is now dead and buried, and they're a rock and roll powerhouse.

Robert Feder has the details on what The Drive is doing for the 10th anniversary next Friday. It's a 17-hour special about the history of rock and roll, and it's locally written, hosted and produced.

With people like Steve Downes, Bob Stroud, Bobby Skafish, Matt Bisbee, and Greg Solk contributing, it is guaranteed to be excellent.

I know I'll be tuning in.

As the Homeless Man Turns

The Smoking Gun has all the details (and mugshots) from the lengthy arrest record of America's favorite golden voiced homeless man.

This whole story is like a wet dream for the media. Take a guy at the lowest point in his life, then build him up to towering heights, so you can tear him back down until he's back in the gutter. And if he survives, you can build him up again. This guy must have whiplash after the past three days.

The only thing worse than the media is the public. Read the comments section after the Smoking Gun piece. There are some bitter nasty people out there and they all comment anonymously.

Snow Art

Contributed by "LT"...

Elizabeth Edwards' will

John Edwards and I got exactly the same amount of money from Elizabeth Edwards in her will.

Nada.

The Onion on TV

I love the Onion--it's reliably hilarious every time I check it out.

I just hope it translates to television because The Onion is going to Comedy Central.

I was tremendously disappointed by "Funny or Die" on HBO. I hope the Onion does a better job. I suspect they will.

LinkedIn going public in 2011?

According to this piece in Reuters, that's the plan.

Invest away, if you like.

As for me, I have a rule about investing my money. If I don't understand how a company can possibly make money, I don't invest. Is LinkedIn a popular site? Yes it is. I'm on LinkedIn. But I've never looked at a single ad on the site, have you? Do they make a lot of money in another way?

The Blaze

That's the name of Glenn Beck's upcoming news website, and he made a surprising hire yesterday to run it. The former CEO of the Huffington Post.

Really?

I'm not sure what shocks me more; that he offered it to her, or that she took it.

John McCain

Portions of this John McCain bit on the Daily Show made me laugh out loud last night.

They called the segment: "Let's all stand on John McCain's lawn."

Lee Smith

Once again Lee Smith only received about 45 percent of the Hall of Fame vote. Why is the former all-time saves leader getting so little consideration?

George Castle tackled that in his column yesterday, and I think he nailed it.

Homeless DJ Update

The reaction to the homeless guy with the great voice was unbelievable. Yesterday morning at this time, I mentioned the video had gone viral with over 2 million views. I just checked it again, and it's up to 11 million. In one day.

Now that's a viral video.

So what has happened to Ted Williams, the homeless DJ? He's gotten a job offer from the Cleveland Cavaliers, and inquiries from NFL Films, MTV, and Fox. It looks very good for him--an actual happy ending is possible.

But he has one small problem that is keeping him from going to New York to appear on the Today Show (and visit his mother, who he hasn't seen for years). He doesn't have an ID, so he can't get on a plane. TMZ has the all the details.

The 2011 Hall of Fame Class

The news just came across the wires. Blyleven and Alomar are both in the Hall of Fame.

Roberto Alomar got 90% of the vote. He was quite simply the best second baseman since Ryne Sandberg.

Bert Blyleven got 79% of the vote. He was a dominant pitcher for the Minnesota Twins.

Congrats to both new members. They totally deserve it. Although I have to admit, the HOF voting is starting to make me feel old. I had Alomar on my Fantasy Team when he was a rookie.

Stem Cells

If you're not swayed by the promise of stem cells to help cure Alzheimer's, maybe you'll be convinced by this little tidbit: They may also help cure baldness.

I thought that might get your attention. All male stem cell opponents just changed their minds.

Snow Art

Contributed by "HT"...

Facebook deal spurs inquiry

The details are in this morning's Wall Street Journal.

When I first heard about Goldman investing $500 million in Facebook, I didn't think anything of it.

But this WSJ article points out some important things I hadn't considered. That $500 million isn't Goldman's per se, it's money from their investors. But Facebook isn't a public company, so it theoretically doesn't have a large number of investors.

But now that they do have tons of investors through Goldman, Facebook is essentially going public, without going public.

Interesting dilemma for the SEC.

Care to guess who will come out on top?

Jay Leno

How damaged is Jay Leno after last year's public relations disaster?

Not at all.

He's been beating Letterman almost since the beginning of his return, and now he even has more young viewers than Conan had.

A Deep Thought

I was watching the show "Parenthood" last night on NBC (that's a good show, by the way), and one of the characters was struggling with her controlling behavior over her husband. Her sister had a great observation: "Why don't you control your controlling behavior?"

Anyone that deals with people that have control issues must have smiled when they heard that line. Nicely done, writers of "Parenthood." Nicely done.

Tweetfamation*

It was just a matter of time before this happened.

Courtney Love is being sued for defamation because of the things she said about a clothing designer on Twitter.

Read some of the tweets in this article. It does sound like Courtney's in trouble. Luckily for her, she's got a bit of experience in dealing with trouble.


*I googled the term "tweetfamation" and doggone it, I haven't coined a new term. Someone in Alabama used it on Twitter a few months ago. (But that was the only other mention according to Google).

The anatomy of a smear

What happens to a journalist when they go after an extremely powerful target like the multi-billionaire Republican financiers the Koch brothers?

A quiet and mysterious smear campaign emerges, accusing that reporter (in this case Jane Mayer of the New Yorker) of plagiarism.

Of course, it wasn't true. There was no plagiarism at all. Even the conservative website "The Daily Caller," the sleazy site that purchased a Keith Olbermann e-mail address just to send out e-mails to make him look bad, finally admitted that there was absolutely no truth to the rumor.

But how many people will have only heard the smear, and not the repudiation of the smear?

The smearer doesn't care if it's repudiated or not. Their work is done. That's why some people still think the President was born in Kenya. And some people believe that the health care bill endorses killing old people. And some people think George Bush ordered the destruction of the World Trade Center. And some people think Bill Clinton fathered a Mulatto baby. And some people think Hillary murdered Vince Foster.

Once the smear is out there, it's out there.

FCC loses indecency case

Remember the Bush-era F.C.C. campaign against indecency on radio and television?

Well, another court struck down another fine. This time it was ABC's fine for NYPD Blue showing a naked butt.

The court ruled that the F.C.C. rule is too vague.

No kidding.

But who wants to be the person to write the new very specific rules? You're going to have to use some bad words, and describe some pretty naughty things. Anyone up for it? This sounds like a job for Penthouse Forum.

Sweet baby, you're gone

ESPN fired Ron Franklin for his "Sweet Baby" crack in a production meeting.

Not surprised.

RIP Gerry Rafferty

Sad to see this news today: Gerry Rafferty passed away in London.

Gerry was the lead singer of the group "Stealers Wheel" before going solo. I just posted their very strange "Stuck in the Middle with You" video a few months ago (after the election). Rafferty was an even bigger success as a solo artist after Stealers Wheel broke up. This song was a huge smash in the summer of 1978...



In 1978 I still lived in Germany and my only connection to America was the Armed Forces Network radio station. My sister and I never missed Casey Kasem's American Top 40 because we wanted to hear what was happening here.

I have a distinct memory of driving in the family car and hearing Casey proclaim this song as #2 in the country. It was unlike anything else that came out that year.

Cubs fan gets prison time

Remember the story of the Cubs fan that got into a fight with his (former) brother in law (and Sox fan) at a party? He kicked the Sox fan in the face, and the Sox fan lost his eye in the fight. The Cubs fan lost his freedom yesterday. He was sentenced to three years in prison.

Every Cubs fan in Chicago with White Sox fan friends will be hearing about this for the rest of our lives. Thanks a lot, pal.

The Lord giveth (White Sox shirtless father/son team that beat up first base coach during game), and the Lord taketh away (Prison-bound Eye kicker).

The Homeless DJ

I got this video sent to me by a dozen or more radio friends yesterday. When I viewed it there were 14,000 or so hits. This morning there are more than 2 million. If you haven't seen it yet, here it is...



It certainly struck a chord with all the radio people I know (a collective "there but for the grace of God"). Hearing him for five seconds, it's obvious he's loaded with ability. That's why I was so happy to read the following excerpt about him in this morning's RAMP newsletter...

The first crucial step in that process comes today, thanks to the foresight displayed by "a local morning show," a.k.a. WNCI/Columbus' Dave & Jimmy, who invited Ted into their studio this morning at 7am. "Dave and Jimmy obviously recognized this as a great human-interest story," WNCI PD Tony Florentino tells RAMP. "And since Ted used to work at the former WVKO/Columbus in the '80s, we all want to help out a downtrodden former radio guy... and you don't get much more downtrodden than this." Morning co-host Jimmy Jam knows they've stumbled into something really special with Ted: "I played the audio on the air yesterday morning because I was so impressed with this guy's voice. Right after it aired, all kinds of offers from our listeners started pouring in. We thought if we could help get him off the street, that would be tremendous." Now, the kicker: "We have all kind of job offers that we will present him, including work with MTV and ESPN Radio!"

Wouldn't it be great if it actually had a happy ending?

Thin Lizzy

From Bob Dearborn's Olde Disc Jockey Almanac today...

January 4, 1986…Bass guitarist/singer/songwriter (The Boys Are Back In Town) Phil Lynott, lead vocalist of Thin Lizzy, died of internal abscesses, pneumonia, septicaemia and multiple organ failure brought on by his drug dependency at age 36.

Always liked these guys. I got into them in high school in Germany, but by the time Lynott died 25 years ago today, I had moved on. Now that I'm a "grown up," I've reverted. I have a ridiculously large Thin Lizzy collection on my iPod, including of course this one...

Chuck Berry

If you've listened to Chicago personality radio over the last thirty years, you're probably familiar with the antics of a man named Edwardo. He used to be a big part of the Steve & Garry show when I was there (he called nearly every day with some sort of pre-produced bit), and he was also a contributor to Brandmeier's show for many years. Now he's contributing on a semi-regular basis to Garry Meier at WGN.

The thing about Ed is that he's always in character...though that character changes from day to day and week to week.

This week he called into Garry's show as Chuck Berry. (If you missed the story, Chuck passed out this week on stage in Chicago). As usual, Ed brings it.

Brian Williams

Yes, he's a respected newsman.

But he also happens to be hilarious. He certainly was funny last night on Letterman.

You can watch the funniest clip here.

ESPN announcer apologizes

He called his female colleague "sweet baby" and when she balked, upped it to a-hole, so it should come as no surprise that after being taken off the Fiesta Bowl coverage for his comments one day and getting pummeled in the press the day after, Ron Franklin emerged yesterday to address the issue.

He said the only thing he could possibly say.

By the way, yesterday they were reporting he said "sweetcakes" and today it's "Sweet Baby," which I realize is similar, but to me "sweetcakes" is much worse. Sweet Baby could be a term of endearment. I know it isn't in this case, but it could be. Sweetcakes on the other hand, comes with an implied sneer every single time.

Try saying it with the sweetest tone in your voice to your wife. She'll still slug you.

Rock Band

The company that makes the game "Rock Band" (Harmonix) was sold by Viacom just before the end of the year.

Care to guess the price?

I'm not kidding about this. They sold it $49.99.

The entire company.

For less than one copy of Beatles Rock Band.

Shocking Celebrity News

Mila Kunis (who will always be "Jackie" from "That 70s Show" to me) and her boyfriend of eight years, McCauley Culkin (yup, that McCauley Culkin) have broken off their relationship.

Culkin is once again...Home Alone.

Someone please alert Joe Peschi and Daniel Stern.

Wonderland by Night

He was a German bandleader named Bert Kaempfert, and though I think his music is unbelievably schmaltzy, I appreciate his contributions for two important reasons. #1--He was instrumental (pun intented) in the early success of the Beatles (while they were in Germany.) #2--People over a certain age can actually spell my name correctly (without the "t" at the end) because of him.

This song was the #1 song in America exactly fifty years ago today...

The Future of Advertising

This article about the future of advertising confirms what I've suspected since I dismantled my own advertising agency last year: Every single thing I learned in college (as an advertising major) is completely worthless now.

It sounds like it's going to be a fun business again...for twenty somethings.

Stars pitch smokes

This is the 40th anniversary of the last TV cigarette ad, so I've been going back and looking at some of the classic ads. Here are a few from the 50s and 60s pitched by the stars of the day...

Danny Thomas


Dick Van Dyke and friends


Lucy and Desi


Fred and Barney


Jack Benny and Humphrey Bogart

Cigarette Ads

Forty years ago this week cigarette ads on television were officially banned. 40 years later they're really odd to watch. This one was one of the last ones on the air...

D-Lee goes to Baltimore

The Orioles have become Cubbie-East ever since Andy MacPhail arrived there, and now they've added another ex-Cub: Derrek Lee.

Add him to the list that includes Sammy Sosa, Corey Patterson, Felix Pie, Rich Hill, and Jake Fox. (Only Fox and Pie are still on the 40-man roster)

Kaempfer's Tody Tyrant

The bird that bears my last name has had a rough go of it in Brazil. A few days ago it was officially put on the endangered species list along with six other Brazilian birds.

The Kaempfer's tody-tyrant is a small olive-green bird and is a member of the flycatcher family. It is endemic to the Atlantic Forest biome and inhabits well-shaded edges of forests that are typically near rivers. Population estimates put the species at between 9,000 and 18,500 individuals, and it is believed to be declining.

Please pray for Kaempfer's Tody Tyrant.

(And yes, that will be my radio name if I ever return to the airwaves)

Cubs programming note

I got this e-mail from the MLB network about a Cubs program on television tonight...

"MLB's 20 Greatest Games debuts January 3 at 8pm ET on MLB Network and the Chicago Cubs are featured in our 20th-ranked game. The series is hosted by Bob Costas and Tom Verducci, who count down the top 20 games of the last 50 seasons. Each game will be revealed every Monday starting at 8pm ET from January 3 through the month February."

I checked out the list of potential Cubs games that might make this program (they have the nominations on their website), and it will be one of the following...

*Sept 9, 1965 versus the Dodgers. (I've previously written about that game here)

*May 17, 1979 versus the Phillies (My buddy Dane Placko was there, and told the story to JOBC readers)

*June 23, 1984 versus the Cardinals (I was there and told the story to JOBC readers)

*October 7, 1984 versus the Padres. (Don't discuss that game around me)

*October 14, 2003 versus the Marlins (Yes, that's right, the Bartman game. This is the video of poor Bartman being escorted out.)

I guess I don't need to point out that the Cubs are only the winners in one of those games. But before you get all "Hey--what about the homer-in-the-gloamin'" on me, remember that these are just the best games during the television era.

For the Cubs that didn't start until 1946. The year after their last pennant win.

It's not 1964 anymore, buddy

There is no bigger "boys club" than the world of sports broadcasting, but some old timers haven't quite gotten the message that the times they are a changing.

Exhibit A: ESPN's Ron Franklin.

According to MediaBistro, Franklin called a female reporter "sweetcakes" in a production meeting, and when she objected, he upped the ante. He was pulled off a major bowl game broadcast after that little outburst.

I've seen (and heard) worse, but I think that gives you a pretty accurate snapshot of what it's like. It really isn't easy being a woman in the world of sports broadcasting.