They say that when you hit your 40s, your life is half over. We prefer to think of it as HALF EMPTY. Our age has finally caught up with our outlook on life. Remember, it is possible to turn that frown upside down...but you might pull a muscle.
By Rick Kaempfer & Dave Stern
You remember the diorama, those mini landscapes in a shoebox that you were forced to build for school? Sadly, the technological revolution has all but killed our pal. Inexplicably, kids these days don’t enjoy pipe cleaners, crepe paper, glue and little plastic horses as much as we did. They still have to do dioramas, but they don’t revel in them because they’d rather do projects on their fancy-schmancy computers.
This has got to end. That’s why we’ve created a couple of easy to build dioramas that will make the diorama more relevant for today’s kids. Unplug the Play Stations, turn off the iPods and grab the kids, it’s time for some family fun Half Empty style.
1) Paris Hilton’s Adventure
(supplies needed: shoebox, 1 toothpick, 1 marshmallow, 10 pipe cleaners and “Cellmate Barbie”)
Create Paris by inserting toothpick into marshmallow (the marshmallow is her head). Arrange and glue pipe cleaners to form a jail cell. Pose “Cellmate Barbie” behind Paris.
2) Tom Cruise’s 9th Level of Hell
(supples: shoebox, computer, internet access, old antidepressant prescription bottles)
Ok, so you need to go get the computer, sorry. Download cutout of Tom Cruise. Print doll and glue him in the middle of the box. Fill box with empty prescription bottles. Inserting ax wielding Brooke Shields is optional.
3) Heather Mill’s Wind “fall”
(supplies: Piano box, Dancing Barbie Doll, $32,000,000 in cash)
Rip the left leg off the Barbie doll. Paint a cheesy television dance floor set on cardboard. Fill box with cash.
4) Don Imus and Michael Richards job prospects
(supplies: shoebox, nothing else)
5) Robert Downey Jr’s Dresser Drawer
(supplies: shoebox, large amount of white powdery substance like sugar or flour)
Fill entire shoe box with substance.
6) Chicago Cubs World Series Chances
(supplies: orange crepe paper, Styrofoam ball)
Cover inside of box with orange crepe paper, to create an inferno effect. Tape “snowball” to bottom of the box.
If you have any other ideas, email us and we’ll post them. We bet you never knew we were so artistic. By the way, Rick is resting comfortably after slicing his finger off on the Tom Cruise doll.
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