They say that when you hit your 40s, your life is half over. We prefer to think of it as HALF EMPTY. Our age has finally caught up with our outlook on life. Remember, it is possible to turn that frown upside down...but you might pull a muscle.
By Rick Kaempfer & Dave Stern
There is a 97 % chance that if you’re talking to someone in our parent’s generation you’ll be called a sissy. We’re constantly being reminded that they had a World War to fight, polio to overcome and Russians to hate, while our pansy asses didn’t. Their generation was shaped by catastrophic world events and ours was shaped by Nintendo. Well, it’s time to set the record straight. We haven’t had it so easy, and we know a thing or two about world events. In fact, our lives have been more interesting than theirs and our hardships have been greater.
Dave’s Mom shook Mussolini’s hand once. Rick met Jose Cardenal at Jewel.
During a 1941 war rally in Berlin, Dave’s Mom shook the hand of Mussolini, while Adolph Hitler was 3 feet away. There were no words spoken between them and it’s doubtful the Duce even noticed. On the other hand, Rick met Cub great Jose Cardenal at Jewel, shook his hand and had a 2 minute conversation with him. In addition, Rick’s reasonably sure that Jim Hickman was in the produce section near by. Advantage: Our Generation.
Rick’s father lived in a chicken coop during the war. Rick and Dave lived in squalor during college.
Rick’s father and his family spent the years immediately after the war living in a chicken coop in Austria. They had no heat, slept on the bare ground and worked hard on the farm in exchange for a weekly piece of meat. His father occasionally was given "fat sandwiches" for which he was forever grateful. Rick and Dave lived here (picture) in college. A picture says a thousand clucks. Besides, all we ate were Ramen noodles. They at least had eggs. Advantage: Our Generation.
Rick’s great grandfather walked back to Romania from Russia after World War I--and his family had no idea if he was alive or dead for several years. Rick on occasion gets swollen ankles from a mild case of Elephantitis.
Rick would love to walk across war torn Europe but compression socks (shown here) are expensive. Without those socks, Rick's physical limitations won’t allow it. We’re not even mentioning Dave’s kidney stone a few years back.
Advantage: Our Generation.
Dave’s mom experienced frequent power outages during Allied bombings of Berlin. Dave’s cable went out during game three of the 2005 World Series.
There were two on, Jermaine Dye at the dish and Comcast blew a fuse. Thankfully, the outage lasted 15 seconds and all Dave missed was a couple of foul balls. Dave’s mom didn’t even have a TV, so she missed NOTHING! Advantage: Our Generation.
During the war, even after severe air attacks, the German commuter train system would continue to run on time the next day. Dave took the CTA for three years during High School.
This one isn’t even close.
Advantage: Our Generation
Dave and Rick’s families gave up everything they had and moved to a foreign country without even knowing the native language. Dave and Rick had to deal with permit parking.
Drive to a Lincoln Park bar on a Saturday night and try to park. It’s impossible. How hard was it to get to America? A couple of forms and poof you’re in steerage. We’re not even going to bring up Chicago’s impossible to understand Blue Bag recycling program. Advantage: Our Generation.
We think it’s clear, that any pain the older generation had to endure, we've had to endure more. Take your little war and hardships and walk a while in our shoes. Oh and as for Rick's great-grandfather, try doing your little European walking tour in Rick’s orthopedic shoes some time. We dare you!
If you missed any previous Half Empty columns, click here: http://halfemptyarchive.blogspot.com
