Every Monday stop by for jokes, links to stories you might have missed, amusing photos and video, and more. Contributions and suggestions are welcome and encouraged. Click on the "Email Me" link on the right to contribute.
Joke of the Week: Contributed by "K"
Love and Marriage!!!
A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls.
They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,
'THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR'
The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, 'He mated 50 times last year.'
They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,
'THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR'
The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, 'That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him.'
They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters,
'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR'
The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's ribs, said, 'That's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one
The husband looked at her and said, 'Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow.'
The husband's condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and he should eventually make a full recovery.
Bonus Jokes: In yesterday's NY Post, the 50 funniest jokes
Stories you might have missed
1. How does Steve Bartman get the last 4 1/2 years of his life back?
(Moises Alou now says he wouldn't have caught that ball.)
2. Pregnant Man makes an appearance on Oprah's show
(This is one of the most disturbing things I've ever seen. Video at the link)
3. Wanted: Drinker to go to pub with dad
(Have you ever felt you were born for a job?)
4. Hawk attacks girl at Fenway
(And no, this isn't referring to former Red Sox player Andre "The Hawk" Dawson)
5. Football player arrested for attempting to urinate on dance floor
(And he wasn't successful? Wow, and I thought I had an enlarged prostate.)
Video of the week: RIP Charlton Heston. "Take your stinking paws off me..."
Picture of the week: My friend "D" sent me this with the tagline "I told you soccer was gay." I happen to love soccer, but I think this picture is funny...
Reader Response
Regarding $everance
"I’d rather read this book than watch most guys take a shower! Zagorski Rules!"
--S (female)
"This is the kind of impact your book had on me. When I saw that Charlton Heston died, the first thing I thought about was your hilarious 'Ben Hur' chapter in $everance."
--K
"Even you have to be a little freaked out how closely reality is following your crazy story line in $everance. Are you getting any royalties from those a******s that run the media companies or are they just using the book as a roadmap?"
--D
Regarding Suburban Man: "Green Living Idiot"
"You're doing a lot better than I am. I'm impressed."
--J
"You may be 'living green' but I've seen your lawn during the summer. Are you sure that 'living brown' isn't more appropriate?"
--K
Rick responds: Actually using the word "living" and "lawn" in the same sentence isn't allowed at my house. I prefer to think of that patch of land as a grub farm.
Regarding "Just One Bad Century"
"I heard you on WLS with John Landecker. I must tell you I am grateful for all your hard work. It is so neat to think of someone like you taking on a century of info and pulling it together for all of us die-hard Chicagoans. Your conversation just opened the floodgates of my memories. My grandparents came to Chicago from Ireland thru Ellis Island to Chicago, and my family still lives in the Chicago area. But baseball is and always was the pastime for my parents, family, and friends. Even now I work with severe die-hards with interest in every aspect of Cubs memorabilia and stats year around. Keep up the good work!"
--N
"I am sooo loving your site. It manages to strike the perfect balance between Cubs love and Cubs hate. In short, it's the perfect Cubs experience."
--A
Rick responds: Thank you. I do love/hate them very much.
288 days until we get a new president.
