By Rick Kaempfer
I should preface this by saying I'm not a scientist.
I don't even know a scientist.
On the other hand, I'm living with proof that global warming is real, and since I don't know any scientists personally, I thought maybe one of you could send this post along to a scientist you know. I'm sure they can always use another bullet in their "global warming is real" gun.
So here is the proof. Ready?
Today is only the 15th of July and this summer has already been 7000 weeks long. That's right, it was 7000 weeks ago when the school year ended for all three of my children. At this pace, they won't be going back to school again until I'm elderly enough to be placed in a home.
Take me now.
Please.
I mean it.
You can tell it's an Olympic year because my boys have been training for the brawling events ever since we got back from vacation. (See my earlier post about our perfect vacation--I knew it was too good to be true). In the 6998 weeks since we returned (my calendar actually only counts this as 14 days), we've had two black eyes and two bloody noses, although knock on wood, we still haven't had to make a trip to the emergency room yet.
If for some reason my boys discover they aren't in the same league as some of the other great brawling brother competitors from around the world (my wife says the Irish are the early favorites--she can say that, she's Irish), they've already decided that the Whining/Complaining Gold medal is within their grasp. I'm not just being one of those stage-parents when I say that all three of my boys are truly gifted in this event. They don't just get by on sheer talent. They work hard at it.
I hear some of their training exercises now.
Aaahh.
Summer.
Only 7000 more weeks to go.
Scientists are right. We need to find a solution to this Global Warming problem, and fast.
