Every Monday stop by for jokes, links to stories you might have missed, amusing photos and video, and more. Contributions and suggestions are welcome and encouraged. Click on the "Email Me" link on the right to contribute.
Joke of the Week: Contributed by "R"
Two boys are playing baseball in Grant Park when one is suddenly attacked by a rabid rottweiler.
Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his bat and shoves it under the dogs collar, twists it breaking the dog's neck and saving his friend.
A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident. "Cubs Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook.
"But I'm not a Cubs fan," the little hero replied.
"Sorry, since we are in Chicago I just assumed you were," said the reporter and he starts writing again. "Sox Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack."
"I'm not a Sox fan either," the boy said.
"Oh, I assumed everyone in Chicago was either for the Cubs or the Sox. What team do you root for?" the reporter asked.
"I'm from St. Louis, I'm a Cardinals fan," the child said.
The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Bastard From St. Louis Kills Beloved Family Pet."
Stories you might have missed
1. Chicago and LA reporters eat animal penises in Beijing
(Watch the video. It's actually quite funny)
2. The secret to Ernest Borgnine's long life? "I masturbate a lot"
(This is a video link...to the admission, not the act itself)
3. Chicago 2040
(I contributed to this report on the Beachwood Reporter)
4. Ebay item for sale: "Evidence of my husband's adultery"
(Here's a tip for you gals cheating with married men...never leave your panties behind.)
5. Flying piece of art causes chaos in Swiss museum
(A giant inflatable dog turd by American artist Paul McCarthy blew away from an exhibition in the garden of a Swiss museum, bringing down a power line and breaking a greenhouse window before it landed again.)
Video of the week: Contributed by "S" with the description: "This must have taken forever to put together." It is pretty good.
Photo of the week: Contributed by "J" with the description: "Typical Yankees Fan."
READER RESPONSE
Regarding "Suburban Man: Extending Your Life"
"Try asking your 15-year-old daughter to tell you about the approximately 8,000 bands she saw perform at the “Warped Tour.” Bands with names like “3oh!3″ and “Forever the Sickest Kids.”"
--M
"Ask an avid golfer about their best golf game. (This is especially effective if you’re not a golfer.) Oh my goodness, it’s excruciating."
--P
Regarding Just One Bad Century
"Rick, I love your website!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As a true Cubs fan, born in Logan Sq, and my dad was a baseball scout as well, I cannot tell you how happy I am that Lou Pinella is making my lifelong dream come true...total Cubs domination. I was at all 4 Cubs vs SF Giants games (i live outside of SF), as were a million other CUBBY fans.
When I saw your youtube site, and then went to your website i felt AT HOME (plate)! I have forwarded both to at least 50 people! My dad knew Jack Brickhouse (to me he IS the voice of the Cubs) and to see the interview with his wife was great. I enjoy your fan interviews and stories. Thank you so much. I really miss Chicago.
My son, who is 11 and born in California is finally catching Cubs fever. Last night he wove a story worthy of preservation, about the Cubs winning the Series, while subconsciously dressed in CUBS BLUE! Rick, we came home this year to see the Cubs for my birthday (april 3) and my son ended up at Children`s ER with a terrible flu. It would have been his first game at Wrigley. No Cubs, but my die-hard friends in Chicago rallied around his bedside (and missed a game as well). True Cubs story. We entered the tickets contest! I`m going to order a shirt today. Rick, YOU are Mr. Cub 2!
I am moved to poetry about the Cubbies:
Oh, Mighty Cubs
The legends say
The fans will never see the day
When Cubbie hitters slam the ball
o`er sacred ivy covered walls
of Wrigley Field
taking the series in 4
In 2008 we`ll wait no more
As our Mighty Cubs even the score
As history is made
As bleacher bums rejoice
Oh Mighty Cubs hear our voice
Our year
Is here
--N
