Monday, April 06, 2009

Cremation Recap

Yesterday I spent the afternoon at a funeral home in Schaumburg, along with several hundred other Cubs fans, and we cremated the various different curses that have plagued the Cubs for the last 100 or so years.

Tom Dreesen did a bang up job as the MC. Several ex-Cubs were there to give some credibility to the pursuit, and a half dozen or so knuckleheads (like me) were on hand to deliver eulogies to the various different curses.

My speech is here is you'd like to read it.

My speech focused on the curse of the Lutheran Seminary, which Tom Dreesen accidentally introduced as the Lutheran Cemetery (I called him "Norm Crosby," a joke that only he seemed to get).

Anyway, I've been thinking about this Lutheran curse, and if there really is a Lutheran curse, how long would that last? Didn't Martin Luther tack a list of 95 grievances to the door of that Catholic church? If so, wouldn't he also have tacked a 95-year curse on the team that built a ballpark on his former seminary?

If you're doing the math at home, that means the curse was inflicted in 1914 (when Wrigley was built). Add 95 years to that, and you've got...2009.