...are dead to me.
Did you see that game?
Wow, does it suck to be a Cubs fan.
I mean, seriously, every now and then a mirror is held up and I see what it is that I have become.
I see that blue and red Lucifer looking back at me,laughing at me, and saying "you think you will ever experience happiness watching one of my games? HA HA HA HA HA HA! NEVER! You will NEVER have happiness rooting for me and I've dug into your soul and made sure you will NEVER be able to root for a different team. HA HA HA HA HA HA!"
"Think you're safe with a five run lead in the eighth during a no hitter? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Right now I'm whispering in Kevin Gregg's ear saying 'Channel your inner Mel Rojas/Latroy Hawkins/Dave Smith/Doug Jones/Terry Adams/Kyle Farnsworth and throw the one thing the fastball hitter won't expect in the bottom of the ninth...a fastball right down the middle.
Whoops? Did he hit out of the ballpark?
Oh, sorry, my bad. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"
Tomorrow I'm going to add up the number of hours I've spent watching this team, figure out how many years of my life I've lost, put a monetary value on it, and send them a bill.
