1. I always paid attention in school.
2. There's no such thing as a favorite child. All of you are my favorites.
3. Sorry, the playground is closed today.
4. Cuddles the Hamster went to live on a nice farm. Yes, the same one where your goldfish went.
5. I have Santa Claus's cell phone number on speed dial. Do you want me to tell him how you're acting?
6. Whoops, the KidzBop CD is in Dad's car and he already left for work.
7. "SpongeBob" isn't on this week. And the DVD player is broken. And the cable is out.
8. Of course I wore to work today the macaroni necklace and bracelet you made me.
9. Daddy is allergic to cats/dogs/birds/reptiles.
10. I never took drugs.
I'm guilty of seven of these, but I prefer not to call them lies. I call them mental health breaks (especially #6,7 & 8).
The ones I never told: #1, 9, & 10.
I could never convince them I always paid attention in school. I can't even pay attention at home. Also, I really am allergic to just about everything--that's not a lie. And as for #10, they've never asked.
