Thursday, November 14, 2013

Jon Stewart Rips Chicago Pizza


Offended by Chicago pizza? Really.

Sounds like a New Yorker's skin is about as thin as his cardboard pizza.

I don't eat New York Pizza. I fold it into four sides, staple it, and store my shoes in it.

New York Pizza has the same curb appeal as a New York sidewalk on garbage day.

I don't eat New York pizza. I take it out to the dog park, and fling it through the air for my dog to fetch. She'll eat the frisbee, but she'll always bring back the New York pizza for another toss.

New York pizza is the Karen Carpenter of pizza.

But I can see why New Yorkers like it. Calling it pizza is like giving pizza the finger. And digesting it is like letting your bowels scream obscenities at everyone. What could be more New York than that? "Get outta my way! Pizza comin' trew!"