Other parents, whose kids were latched on to their legs–refusing to leave
the comfort of mom or dad, used to ask me all the time. “What’s your secret?”
“Bad Parenting,” was my standard answer.
I was joking, of course. The real answer was that I had no idea. It’s pure
luck as far as I can tell.
I wish I did know the real answer, because we’ve got a puppy with some serious
separation anxiety issues. She doesn’t just whine when we leave the house. She
whines when we leave the room. She whines when we take a shower. She whines
when she can’t see us.
Not all of us, mind you. Just Bridget and me. In that order.
In the morning and evening when Bridget is home, Ivy (the puppy) is right by
her side. I mean–she’s practically glued to her. During the day, when I’m the
one home, I get the same treatment. The boys? Not so much. Leaving her with
them is like leaving her alone. She whines the whole time.
When she isn’t whining, she’s a delight. She’s cute and cuddly and attentive
and mild mannered. She protects us when we’re outside. She is totally
comfortable in our house and obeys the barriers we’ve set up for her (other
than an obsession with fuzzy slippers). She plays with us whenever we want to
play. She’s (more or less) potty trained. She’ll even calmly (and without
complaint) sit in her crate.
But all of that goes out the window when Bridget and I are not within
eyesight. That’s when the separation anxiety kicks in. She gets so worked up,
barking and whining and slamming the sides of the cage, that she literally
bends the metal bars. She also pees and/or poops and/or vomits when we’re gone
for more than an hour.
Then, as soon as we’re home it’s like nothing ever happened.
I’m trying to remember that she was an abandoned dog. I’m trying to remember
that she’s just a puppy, and there will be growing pains, and it will take some
time.
But I’m really at a loss for what to do. Bad parenting is not going to work
this time. She’s got some real experience with bad parenting–her previous owner
is in jail.
I have to find the real answer, and fast.
Ivy Kaempfer, 2010-2022
