Over the years, flowers have been my friend. Whenever I
wanted to cheer up my wife, or apologize to my wife, or get brownie points from
my wife, I simply stopped at the florist on my way home from work and got one
peach rose. That’s her flower.
It worked every time. Total cost: $3.
However, when I tried to buy flowers to congratulate a
female co-worker a few years ago, I ran into the down-side of flowers: Hidden
meanings.
I asked for red roses. The florist said: “Oh your wife will
love these.”
“It’s not for my wife,” I explained.
“Your girlfriend?” she asked.
“No, just a co-worker.”
“Do you want her to be your girlfriend?”
“No.”
What’s the deal here? I get less personal questions from my
mother.
“Red roses mean love,” she explained.
“What color says ‘Hey congratulations, way to go!’”
“You might want to get a mixture of red and white,” she
said. “That says ‘unity’, but it can also mean professional unity.”
“What about the other colors?”
“White means ‘You’re heavenly,’ yellow means ‘joy,’ burgundy
means ‘beauty,’ pink whispers a message of…”
“I’ll take a plant, please,” I said. “Plain. Green.”
