This is funny...
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Today's Best Tweets (May 20)
Here are some tweets that caught my eye today...
Daily Herald @dailyherald 3m
Severe #weather rolling into #Illinois: People in Illinois are being warned of a slight risk of severe weather... http://bit.ly/1jmQqlj
Breanna Deutsch @BreannaDeutsch 6m
A new report confirms what you already knew - your opinion means nothing in Washington. http://dailycaller.com/2014/05/19/report-special-interests-more-influential-than-public-opinion/ … via @DailyCaller
Eric Alper @ThatEricAlper 10m
Happy 68th Birthday to Cher! Here are 10 things artists can learn from the legend: http://ow.ly/x3p6M
Gawker @Gawker 9m
Man is shot in the face by his brother, spits out bullet http://gaw.kr/9eyIjbg
People magazine @peoplemag 11m
"I would eat food off his body." - Guess which athlete Russell Brand is talking about? http://peoplem.ag/x1ljl
Newsweek @Newsweek 14m
After a toxic battle, a slice of Transylvania looks set to become Europe’s biggest gold mine http://j.mp/1qRydBL
WXRT Chicago @93XRT 16m
Led Zeppelin is Being Sued Over ‘Stairway to Heaven’ http://cbsloc.al/1jmxtiN
BillMoyers.com @BillMoyersHQ 19m
Free speech much? NC GOP want to make it a crime to reveal fracking chemicals. http://billmoyers.com/?p=77041 #MorningReads
Paul Sullivan @PWSullivan 20m
Soriano's back in town, under the cover of Jeter Week. http://trib.in/1j5hiC1
Slate @Slate 31m
How far underwater will your city be by 2300? Here's San Francisco, AT&T Park--PHOTOS: http://slate.me/1qRVymS pic.twitter.com/J4tjO6KRqP
10 Engineer Jokes
Sent to me by "DK". I'm not an engineer, but I am the son of one...
1. Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
2. To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
3. A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him."
He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
4. What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.
5. The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
6. Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
7. Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting coefficient of friction. Interrupting coefficient of fri.... mmmuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu (μ)
8. Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
9. An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want." Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
10. A wife asks her husband, a software engineer..."Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6!" A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him, "Why the hell did you buy 6 cartons of milk?" He replied, "They had eggs."
Just One Bad Century--May 20
It's fitting that today begins his last visit here, because This Day in Wrigley History will point out that in 1935, an even bigger Yankee icon made his last trip to Wrigley Field on this day as well. He wasn't wearing a Yankees uniform anymore at the time. 1967 in Wrigley history is featured as well.
Another former Yankees great is featured in Today's Cubs birthdays and the A/V Club: Bobby Murcer. His A/V Club appearance is especially entertaining--he's a mystery guest on "What's My Line?"
There's a big hub-bub in the news recently about the Cubs accidentally painting Charles Lindbergh into a Wrigley mural, even though he appeared at Comiskey Park. Well, today's Historical Event is Charles Lindbergh's famous flight...and the Cubs weren't too far away when he took off.
This week in 1908 has also been posted. How long ago was 1908? This week the Cubs raise their (1907) championship flag on the same day oil is discovered in the Middle East for the very first time.
Cubs Last Link To World Series
It's a charming story about the man.
I once wrote a snarky piece about Lennie at Just One Bad Century. It was about the day he made four errors in one inning. A half-dozen comments were sent to me that day from people who knew or know Lennie, and all of them took me to task for mocking such a fine man.
I never saw Lennie Merullo play the game, but I can tell you that the people who know him, think he's the very best. That's more important than baseball anyway, isn't it?
Monday, May 19, 2014
Stealing Home
My son Sean told me that his number one goal this baseball season was stealing home. He pulled it off yesterday...taking such a ridiculous lead off third base that the pitcher had no choice but to throw it to third. When he did, Sean bolted toward the plate.
That was a fun moment. He'll be picked off next time he tries it, but for one sunny Sunday afternoon, he gave the fans in the stands a thrill.
That was a fun moment. He'll be picked off next time he tries it, but for one sunny Sunday afternoon, he gave the fans in the stands a thrill.
The Commencement Bigots
Fair and Balanced. Seriously.
Michael Jackson Hologram Appears on the Billboard Music Awards
The story explaining his appearance is here.
Or you can just watch it here (with Spanish dubbing)...
Or you can just watch it here (with Spanish dubbing)...
AT&T To Buy DirecTV
Wish granted! AT&T is going to buy DirecTV.
Cloning John Lennon?
This is beyond creepy. From MSN News...
Turn me on, dead man.*
*The alleged backwards message in a Beatles song that "proved" Paul was dead.
Sean Lennon has branded plans to clone his father John Lennon from DNA extracted from the late rocker's teeth as "bizarre, futuristic and dystopian". Last year Canadian dentist Michael Zuk handed a rotten molar from The Beatles legend to scientists so they could extract Lennon's unique genetic code. Zuk - who purchased the tooth for $30,000 (£20,000) - hopes experts will one day be able to clone the Imagine singer. However, Lennon's son Sean is unsure of the project and hinted it could end up the subject of legal action. He tells NME magazine, "It's interesting thinking about what rights we have over our discarded DNA. Cloning in general is a legal area that's bizarre, futuristic and dystopian - and this about my dad's tooth definitely falls into that category."
Turn me on, dead man.*
*The alleged backwards message in a Beatles song that "proved" Paul was dead.
Just One Bad Century--May 19
In case you missed it over the weekend, the Cubs won a series against the Brewers. That's two series wins already this season. Where on earth did I put that champagne? (Of course, the one game I went to on Friday is the game that they lost. The picture above of the green painted marquee was taken on Friday.)
If you didn't stop by JOBC over the weekend, there is a very cool video up on the A/V Club right now. A home movie of Jackie Robinson's first game at Wrigley. I left it up there today for another day, because I wanted more people to see it.
Also, This Week in 1945 was posted yesterday. Bogie & Lauren Bacall get hitched, Pete Townshend is born, and the Cubs are in the midst of a bigtime losing streak.
Speaking of Pete Townshend. The writing of "My Generation" on his 20th birthday is today's Historical Event. Where were the Cubs?
Today in Wrigley History goes back to 1961 and 1987.
Today's Cubs birthdays include the very last big league Fritz, a pitcher who won nearly 200 games, Turk, Pop, a 1990s mustache, and 1890s cup of coffee, and the guy who inadvertantly helped the White Sox win the World Series in 2005 by allowing A.J. Pierzynski to cheat.
As for the latest Cubs prospects, would you believe there was another no-hitter in the minors this weekend? It's true. At that link you'll also discover that Baez finally hit another homer, and Albert Almora is heating up. This story is about Arismendy Alcantara, who won a game with a homer this weekend.
Don't read this one, however: 5 Chicago Cubs Prospects Who Never Panned Out. You already know about all of those guys. No need to start your week with a big bowl of bummer salad.
Friday, May 16, 2014
Net Neutrality
The FCC is literally getting millions of complaints and angry protests around the country. As someone put it very wisely--"the future of the internet is the future of everything."
Exactly. I'm actually proud of the public for not sleeping through this attempted change.
Just One Bad Century--May 16
I've got tickets to the Cubs game today. Do you think they'll get it in, or will it be rained out? I want to see the green and gold marquee.
Today's Cubs Birthdays include Big Daddy, Rube, Lefty and Bob. Big Daddy is featured at the A/V Club too. A home movie from opening day 1980.
Today in Wrigley History goes back to 1958, 2001, and 2008.
Today's Historical Event is the passing of the Seditino Act in 1918. Where the Cubs?
Thursday, May 15, 2014
40 Albums Baby Boomers Loved That Millennials Don't Know
This list comes courtesy of Rolling Stone Magazine.
I owned 22 of the 40, including this one (photo)
Cat saves boy from dog attack in California
I have no idea why this dog attacked the kid (video at the link), but the cat saved the boy. He had to get a few stitches, and will probably be afraid of dogs forever, but he is going to fine.
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