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POLITICAL ADVERTISING OVERLOADBy Rick Kaempfer & Dave Stern
It may be different in your state, but here in Illinois the negative political ads are on the air every second of every day, and it’s really starting to affect the citizens.
Overheard in traffic
Woman: You can get in the next lane. It’s moving.
Man: I’m staying the course.
Woman: But this lane is at a standstill.
Man: I will not cut and run.
Woman: But see that orange flashing light up there…this lane closes in five hundred feet. We need to change course.
Man: What kind of a message would that send to the troops repaving this highway?
Woman: How about we will not run you over?
Man: You’ll never understand.
Overheard in a couple’s master bathroom
Man: Honey, can you hand me the toothpaste?
Woman: Ray Miller is always looking for a handout.
Man: What? I just want to brush my teeth.
Woman: Ray Miller. Wrong for America. Wrong for my toothpaste.
Overheard in a child’s bedroom
Son: Mom, can I play on my Gameboy?
Mom: Have you finished your math homework?
Son: My opponent, Mrs. Nosenfunk, thinks that the only way to solve a problem, is to study it forever. The American people want action, not constant study.
Mom: Try this action…do your homework.
Overheard in the family room
Daughter: Dad, can you flip it to MTV?
Dad: The baseball game is on.
Daughter: Aren’t you tired of the same old empty promises? They don’t have a plan for victory.
Dad: Um…
Daughter: This year when you hold the remote, hold it accountable. It’s time for a change.
Dad: I’m not giving you the remote.
Overheard in an office
Worker: Boss, are you surfing the internet? I thought the Employee Manual said that…
Boss: I issued a signing statement.
Worker: A what?
Boss: A signing statement. That means I don’t have to follow the rules, only you do.
Worker: But that’s not fair.
Boss: War isn’t fair. I’m the Commander-in-Chief, and as long as we’re at war with ACME Corp., I have to have all the tools I need to win.
Worker: But you’re reading The Onion.
Boss: Until further notice you will be detained in your cubicle.
It’s like this everywhere now. Please, please, let this election cycle end. We can’t stand it for another moment.
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Also, thanks to the Beachwood Reporter for printing this article too: Political Ad Creep
