By Rick Kaempfer
It’s like fingernails on a chalkboard.
You know the tone of voice. The tone of voice that infers “You’re a Moron” without even saying it. It’s the tone of voice that leaves children whimpering.
When I hear it coming out of another parent’s mouth, I cringe. I’m not judging them–I feel for them. I know they don’t want to do it. I know because I’ve done it myself, and every time I hear it coming out of my own mouth, I wish that I could somehow turn the clock back fifteen seconds.
It happens to all of us. We tell a child to do something over and over and over again, but if they still don’t do it…
We warn a child over and over and over again not to do something, but when they still do it…
When they make the same mistakes time and time again, we can’t help it.
It’s almost impossible to avoid that tone of voice when we’re exasperated. But that tone says so much more than the actual words we’re screaming. That tone says “Why am I wasting my breath on you.” It says “How did I get stuck with such a moron?” It says “I’m embarrassed to be associated with you.”
We’re lashing out because we feel that we’re failing as parents. Yes, we’re mad at them too, but we’re really mad at ourselves because we’re obviously not getting through to them.
That’s why I made it my New Years resolution this year to eliminate it from my repertoire forever. I’ve caught myself a few times already…and taken a step back…and taken a deep breath…and even walked away…and wow has that been hard, but I’m putting that tone of voice behind glass and stamping “In Case of Emergency Only” on it.
Like when they keep wandering out in front of oncoming traffic.
In that case, by all means, I’ll be breaking that glass.
