Monday, July 28, 2014

Bob Rivers

This is big news in the radio business. It just arrived in my e-mail box as an alert from multiple sources...

KJR-FM/Seattle morning icon Bob Rivers stunned more than a few people today when he announced he was discontinuing The Bob Rivers Morning Show. Leading up to his final show on Friday, August 8, Rivers will host 9 farewell shows to say goodbye to listeners, advertisers and co-workers.

I have my own Bob Rivers story, but it's a little embarrassing.

On my very first day as Steve & Garry's producer (on AM-1000, WLUP), they were doing a bit making fun of Bob Rivers. He was doing one of those typical radio stunts where he lived on a billboard until his home team (I forget which team) won a game during a particularly bad losing streak. During the bit, Steve mentioned my name on the air for the first time ever.

"Rick, track this guy down," Steve said, "and let's get him on the air."

As soon as he said it, I realized I had no idea how to do that. This was before the internet, and calling information certainly wouldn't lead me to the correct number. The guy, after all, was on a billboard. This was in the pre-cellphone era.

I was being trained by Steve & Garry's outgoing producer Roman Sawczak.

"Any idea how to do that?" I asked Roman.

"Go in the studio," Roman replied calmly. "I'm sure Steve and Garry have the number."

"Just walk in there?" I asked.

"Yeah."

So, like an idiot, I walked right into the studio. Steve looked up at me, and in mid-sentence stopped talking. "What do you want?" he asked me, on the air.

"The phone number," I said.

"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GET ME THE PHONE NUMBER, DUMBASS!" He screamed.

That led to a ten minute "rip the new guy" bit.

When I walked back into the producer's booth, Roman was holding his stomach from laughing so hard. "I didn't think you'd really go in there," he said, choking out the words between cackles. "Holy crap, that was hilarious."

"Thanks a lot," I said.

"Welcome to the show," he replied.

I did eventually track down Bob Rivers, by the way. I can't remember how I did it, or who I called, but I got him on the air, and Steve & Garry mocked him mercilessly for doing such a lame bit.

I didn't feel sorry for him.

I was just happy that the target was no longer me.