News that has to kill Trump

The Stormy Daniels interview on 60 Minutes was the highest rated interview on 60 minutes since 2008.

The one that beat it in 2008 was the interview with Barack Obama.

That has to be a gut punch to the man who values ratings above all else.

Woman Marries a Tree

It wasn't even a young and pretty tree. This was a 100-year-old tree. She married it in the hopes of publicizing that the tree was scheduled to be cut down. Eighty friends from the neighborhood attended the ceremony.

It was a little sappy.

The couple intends on laying down roots in the area.

They just want everyone to leaf them alone.

Fired for Being French

Actually, this waiter wasn't fired for being French. He was fired for being aggressive, rude, and disrespectul.

He's the one who says that's the same thing as being French. That's the grounds of his lawsuit.

I've been to France. Can't disagree with his assessment.

The wife's grumble that led to pop's greatest love song

It made her husband write 10cc's I'm Not In Love. And boy did it work – they've been married for 52 YEARS. I love reading these stories behind the songs...

My favorite protestor

I was watching the coverage of the March for Our Lives on Saturday, and who turned up as a protestor? None other than Paul McCartney.

The reporter asked him why he was protesting. He reminded the clueless reporter that "One of my best friends was the victim of gun violence."

Remember him? His first name was John.

40 Years of Rockin

Robert Feder has a great piece today about my old pal Bob Stroud, who just signed another long term deal to remain the midday man at the Drive.

Congrats to both Bob and Rob on this fine article.

I made note of that too

Great observation here...

A porn star just said on 60 minutes that she took a magazine with Donald Trump's face on it and spanked the president, with him only wearing his underwear.

— Josh Dawsey (@jdawsey1) March 25, 2018

As soon as she said it, I paused the tape, looked at Bridget and said: "And you thought this was going to be a waste of time tonight."

Cameo Book Launch

Thanks to everyone who came out to Teasers on Friday night for a successful book launch party! Beth Jacobellis signed and sold a ton of books. Look for another book event with Beth in the coming weeks. (Of course her book "Cameo" remains available via Eckhartz Press). In the meantime, here are a few photos...

Tick Tock

Get Crackin, fellas. The home opener is only a few weeks away...

Finishing up the left field seats and dugouts. pic.twitter.com/AMnRNmz9on

— Wrigley Aerials (@WrigleyAerials) March 25, 2018

29 years and counting

I spent my Saturday afternoon with my good buddies at the Loop Poor Man's Fantasy League draft. It's our 29th year in a row, and one of my favorite days of the year...

Book Launch Party

Looking for something to do tonight fellas? Try this conversation...

You: Hey honey, I heard about a book that you'll really like. It's called Cameo, and the author is having a book launch party tonight. Wanna go?

Her: Wait a second, here. You want to go to a book launch party for a book *I* would like?

You: Absolutely. You deserve it.

Her: Where is this party?

You; It's at a bar called Teasers on Higgins.

Her: A bar, huh? And I suppose they'll probably have NCAA basketball on the televsion there?

You: Does it matter? It's all about you and getting a book you'll love. And you can get it autographed by the author!

Snubbed

First Lady of Poland needs some kind of award for this....😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/DvNIzSviM1

— Maggie Resists Trump (@Stop_Trump20) March 21, 2018

The Birth Control Pill for Men

The birth control pill for men is one step closer to reality. It does what it's supposed to do, but they are currently testing it for side effects. They know it raises cholesterol slightly and increases chance of heart disease if used over time, but they are still studying long-term effects on sperm count.

I have a question about this before it goes on the market: Are any women really going to believe a man when he says "It's OK. I'm on the pill"?

Byron Allen Buys Weather Channel

Did you know that former Comedian/host of "That's Incredible" Byron Allen was a multi-gizillionaire media mogul? Me neither, but he is. His company just bought the Weather Channel for $300 million.

This news shouldn't upset me, but it does.

Not that he bought the Weather Channel. I don't care about that. I care that he CAN buy the Weather Channel.

The talent-to-money ratio in this country is completely skewed. Yakov Smirnov is a gazillionaire too, thanks to his ownership of theaters in Branson Missouri. But unlike Byron Allen, at least Yakov had one funny joke.

The Playmate Mistress

I watched a replay of the Karen McDougal interview on CNN last night, and it really creeped me out. She sounds like she was really in love with Donald (even though he tried to pay her with cash after sex). But that's not the part that creeps me out (I'm not allowing myself to visualize it).

The part that creeps me out is when she said what attracted her to him: "He had great posture."

I also thought it was cute that she looked visibly upset when she found out Trump cheated on her with Stormy Daniels. Honey, let's face it here, despite his great posture, you were not dealing with a stand up guy.

If you missed the interview, the Washington Post has a few takeaways from it.

Finally

The omnibus bill that passed last night includes revoking the CDC ban on studying gun violence. I've always thought it was ridiculous that the NRA somehow managed to get Congress to pass a law banning the government from even studying the effects of gun violence. Give the kids from Parkland credit. This doesn't pass without them.

MInutia Men, Episode 89

EP89 – Rick and Dave discuss a mailbox weirdo, masturdating, a new record in highness, Hi Bithorn, and Rick’s brush AJ Pierzynski.

Listen to it here.

Oh Boy!

Look what arrived in the mail yesterday...

Those of you in the balcony rattle your jewelry

The lineup for the Queen's 92nd birthday has been announced. It doesn't really sound like a lineup that she would appreciate, but it is star studded. From Variety...

Held at Royal Albert Hall on the 21st, the birthday party will be produced by the BBC and will air live on television in the U.K.

The list of performers, announced today, is perhaps the most notable, surprising aspect of all this. The Daily Mail notes that the sovereign “personally prefers show tunes and a stirring rendition of ‘The White Cliffs of Dover’ by Dame Vera Lynn.” Well, uh, that is not what she is getting! Nope, the roster of artists includes Sir Tom Jones, Kylie Minogue, Craig David, Anne-Marie, Shawn Mendes, Ladysmith Black Mambazo, Sting, and Shaggy.

Someone will be in charge of making sure the queen does not throw her panties on stage during Tom Jones' performance. And another person will have to break it to her that Shaggy is not the co-star of Scooby Doo.

The Pothole Store on TV

Sometimes I just stand by in awe, and tip my cap to my co-publisher David Stern, the marketing genius behind "The Pothole Store" (www.potholestore.com). WGN-TV News did a story on him this week.

Watch the video here.