In our upcoming book, “The Bald Handbook,” co-author Dave Stern (bald) and I (bald spot) leave no bald stone unturned as we look at each stage closely to help the balding male cope with his painful reality. Until the book comes out, this blog will present nuggets and pearls of wisdom from the book in short weekly segments, we call…”The Bald Minute.” (This feature is available for radio syndication…click on the e-mail link to inquire).
“We are Good, They are Evil”
By Rick Kaempfer & Dave Stern
R: Welcome to another episode of “The Bald Minute.” Today’s Bald Minute subject?
D: Fullheads.
R: Right. Dave has done extensive research on the subject of people with full heads of hair, and has some remarkable findings. Care to share those with us, Dave.
D: As far as I’m concerned you’re a Fullhead.
R: I have a bald spot—
D: I would kill for that bald spot.
R: Dave, stay on topic, please.
D: It boils down to this: Bald people are good and Fullheads are evil.
R: According to Dave’s research, for every example of Fullhead evil, there is counter example of bald good.
D: For instance…
R: Mass murderers Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, and Charles Manson—Fullheads.
D: Prosecutors Rudy Giuliani and Elliot Spitzer—Bald.
R: Typhoid Mary—Fullhead.
D: Jonas Salk—Bald.
R: Atheist Howard Stern—Fullhead
D: Pope John Paul II & the Dali Lama—Bald.
R: Adolf Hitler—Fullhead.
D: Winston Churchill—Bald.
R: Mussolini?
D: Misunderstood. He was just suffering from Stage 2 Bald Rage. Would it have killed the Italian people to show him a little compassion?
R: Um…actually, Dave…you probably shouldn’t say ‘killed’…
D: I’m telling you--one less snarky comment about the reflection off his head and one more hug and the whole thing could have been avoided.
R: You seem a little tense. Are you reverting back to Stage 2 yourself?
D: Get on with it, fullhead evil boy.
R: I have a bald spot.
D: Don't push me.
R: For more information about fullhead evil, including the reason for their evil…
D: God loves us more…
R: Check out our upcoming book “The Bald Handbook.” Reporting for the Bald Minute, I’m Rick Kaempfer.
D: And I’m Dave Stern.
If you missed a previous episode of "The Bald Minute" and would like to check it out, click here: http://thebaldhandbook.blogspot.com
