This week we're featuring jokes about love and Valentine's Day. Thanks to "C", "S" and "T" for sending these in.1. Have You Ever Been Unfaithful ?
An old couple was sitting around one evening. The man says to his wife, Sarah: "Now that we are about to celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary, tell me, have you ever been unfaithful to me?"
She hesitated a while and said, "Yes, 3 times."
"How did it happen?" he asked, a little stunned by her answer.
"Well, do you remember right after we were married and we were broke and the bank was going to foreclose on our little house? That was the first time."
He remembered. "Yes, that was really a terrible time," he said with a sigh.
"Remember when I went to see the banker and the next day they extended our loan?"
"It's hard to believe," the old man said, "but I guess it really was for us and I can forgive you. And the second time?"
"Do you remember," she said, "years later when you almost died from the heart problem because we couldn't afford the operation?
"Yes."
"Well, do you remember that right after I went to see the doctor he did your operation at no cost?"
"Yes," he said. He was shocked but it was understandable considering the circumstances. "I understand you did it because of your love for me and I forgive you. And how about the third time?
She said, "Do you remember when you ran for president of the PTA and needed 63 more votes?"
2. Inheritance
When Dan found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.
"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her "but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."
Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days later, she became....his stepmother.
Women are so much smarter than men. When will they ever learn?
3. Be My Valentine
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
A date is a job interview that lasts all night. The only difference between a date and a job interview is that there are not many job interviews where there's a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it.---Jerry Seinfeld
