1910/1935

100 years ago this week, the Cubs are preparing for another pennant winning season. Their third baseman is slated to be the mercurial Heinie Zimmerman; a terrible fielder, but a great hitter. Meanwhile, in Ohio, the Wright Brothers are preparing for their first and only flight together.



75 years ago this week, the Cubs are preparing for another pennant winning season. Their third baseman is slated to be Smiling Stan Hack, their great leadoff hitter and slick glove man. Meanwhile in Los Angeles California, Herp Albert is born. He'll start playing the trumpet when he's 8. Hack will still be the Cubs third baseman then.

LBJ gets some pants

This is one of the most priceless presidential tapes I've ever heard. It's from 1964.

LBJ is on the phone with Mr. Haggar of Haggar pants, ordering pants, and requesting very specific alterations to the ones they already sent. You gotta hear it.

Now this is music...

As I post this video, it has been viewed on YouTube nearly 4 million times. It has been rated 5 stars nearly 25,000 times. If you aren't already among the many fans, feel free to sample it here. Words do not do it justice, which is probably why it doesn't actually have any words.

Ripper

Ripper Collins was the Cubs first baseman after Charlie Grimm retired as a player, and before Phil Cavaretta was given the full-time job in the mid-1930s.

Read all about him here.

He was born on this day in 1904.

Passover Treat

OK, you probably know I'm not Jewish.

But did you know that I was once interviewed for a thirty minute television show by an actual Rabbi?

It happened five or so years ago, and you can see it now...

Cy Young

Cy Young turns 143 today.

I found this video on YouTube, and I was fascinated. Maybe you will be too. It features old timers from the deadball era talking about what baseball was like in their day. The interviews were conducted in the 1950s and early 1960s when each man was already in his 80s.

You'll hear the voices of Detroit Tigers great Wahoo Sam Crawford, Pirates and Reds great Hans Lobert, New York Highlanders/Yankees third baseman Jimmy Austin, and finally two of the greatest players in baseball history: Ty Cobb and Cy Young.

Jokes for a Monday morning

Southern Jokes...contributed by "AH"





GEORGIA
The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000 minus 14%, how much would you take off?" The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings."

LOUISIANA
A senior at Louisiana was overheard saying, "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ..." When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world."

MISSISSIPPI
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!" Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?" The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."

NORTH CAROLINA
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man replied, "I have a flat tire." The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?" The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put ‘flares’ in the front and ‘flares’ in the back. I never did understand it neither."

TENNESSEE
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?" The driver replied, "Bout whut?"

SOUTH CAROLINA
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head?" "Yep", he replied. "That's why I dumpin it here, cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage'.

Phil & Jimmy

Phil Cavaretta was one of the all-time great Cubs. He played for them in the 30s, 40, and early 50s. That's why this story is so hard to read.

Let's just say, his stay with the Cubs didn't end well. It ended on this day in 1954.






Jimmy Archer was a Cubs catcher a hundred years ago. I like to call him the Bionic Cub.

Why? The full story is here.

Jimmy passed away on this day in 1958.

Father Knows Nothing

I just posted my latest Father Knows Nothing column at NWI Parent. This one is called "Giving the finger" and it's about my youngest son's latest injury.

You can read it here.

Chicago Radio Spotlight: Max Armstrong

I just posted my latest Chicago Radio Spotlight interview. This week I talked to former WGN business reporter Max Armstrong. We discussed his 30 plus years at WGN and what he is up to now.

Read the interview here.

Diana Ross

Diana Ross is 66 years old today.

This is a fascinating look back into the 1960s. She appeared with the Supremes on What's My Line...

Woodstock

Woodstock (the movie) came out on this day in 1970. I've seen the movie, and you probably have too, but have you ever seen this home video from Woodstock. I thought this was fascinating from a historical perspective...

And the cradle will rock

Thirty years ago today....

Have you seen Junior's grades?



Footnote: I had the same fur leg warmers as David Lee Roth. But then again, who didn't?

Derrek Lee

He hurt his back when a chair he was sitting on collapsed.

I kid you not.

The gory details are here.

Oh, the joys of being a Cubs fan.

The Arkansas Hummingbird

That was the nickname of Cubs great Lon Warneke.

He pitched for the pennant winning Cubs of 1935 and 1945, and would have been part of the 1938 team too...if the Cubs didn't trade him during the peak of his career.

Nevertheless, the Arkansas Hummingbird was one of the best Cubs pitchers of the first half of last century.

Read all about him here.

He was born this week in 1909.

Pet Peeves

I just got the latest issue of NWI Parent Magazine in the mail.

As usual, I contributed the back page "Family Room" essay. This one is called "Pet Peeves" and it explains our (lack of) pet situation.

You can read it here.

Amadeus

25 years ago today, it was named "Best Picture" at the Academy Awards. I still think it's one of the best films ever, and not just because my father shoved Mozart down my throat from a very early age. ("You know, when Mozart was your age, he was composing concertos!"). It's a great character study of Salieri.

F. Murray Abraham deserved his best actor award...

Dutch

It was probably one of the most common baseball nicknames. Every ML team that existed in the first half of the 20th century had at least a couple of guys named Dutch.

Dutch Leonard was probably the best known Cub with the moniker. He was born on this day in 1909.

Read all about him here.

Brent

My college buddy Brent Petersen runs a farmer's market in Rhode Island. He now has a video promoting it.

Brent has previously appeared on this blog as a guest writer. He wrote a very funny piece explaining why he became a vegetarian. You can read that here.

NPR on Stay at Home Dads

A friend sent me this article about stay at home dads. 

According to this piece, there are now two million dads that are the primary caregivers of their kids.

Solidarity, brothers. Solidarity.

Joke for a Wednesday morning

Contributed by "BP"


 A Blonde's Year in Review




January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels...Helllloooo!!!...bottles won't fit in printer!!!

March
Got really excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months...Box said ' 2-4 years!'

April
Trapped on escalator for hours ... Power went out!!!

May
Tried to make Kool-Aid...wrong instructions...8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June
Tried to go water skiing...Couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition...Learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm...Darn car filled up with water because convertible top was open.

September
The capital of California is 'C'...isn't it???

October
Hate M & M's.....They are so hard to peel.

November
Baked Thanksgiving turkey for 4 1/2 days ... Instructions said bake 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!

December
Couldn't call 911. 'Duh'.....there's no 'eleven' button on the stupid phone!!!

1910/1935

One hundred years ago this week, the Cubs are preparing for yet another NL Pennant winning season. Meanwhile, two unsuspecting parents were excited about their birth of their baby boy Clyde. His last name was Barrow...as in Bonnie & Clyde.

(Photo: Cubs great Orval Overall--left, and Clyde Barrow right.)



Seventy five years ago this week, the Cubs are preparing for yet another NL Pennant winning season. Meanwhile, in the Middle East, a country that had been known as Persia for thousands of years changed it's name to Iran.

Pretty Woman

Can you believe it was 20 years ago today that Pretty Woman was released? Here's the money shot... (Spoiler Alert: It's a happy ending)

The Wrigley Marquee

We all know that iconic Wrigley Field Marquee, but did you know it wasn't always red? It's true...it wasn't painted red until exactly fifty years ago today.

Before that, it looked like this.

Michelle Obama on the Simpsons

While many were watching the NCAA or the Health Care bill finally being passed by the House, the First Lady of our country was appearing in cartoon form on The Simpsons. Did you miss it? Here it is...

Strong like Bull

We all know about one former Cub nicknamed Bull--Leon Durham--but there was another. His name was Al Schroll, and he was born on this day in 1932.

The good news is that he didn't let a ground ball go through his legs at one of the most crucial moments in franchise history.

The bad news is that he was a terrible pitcher.

Read all about Bull here.

Al Schroll passed away in 1999.

Father Knows Nothing

I just posted my latest Father Knows Nothing column at NWI Parent magazine. This one is called "Panic Attack" and it's about the day I found out I needed to teach a group of 20 first grade Cub Scouts how to make a craft.

You can read it here.

Chicago Radio Spotlight: Catherine Johns & Karen Hand

This week I went to the hypnosis center run by former radio pros Catherine Johns and Karen Hand. We talked about radio and hypnosis, and then, they hypnotized me.

Read the interview here.

Black Friday

This song by Steely Dan came out on this day in 1975. It's a little scary how well the lyrics still work today...

Richie Ashburn

He is a Hall of Famer, and he was a Cub...but, let's face it, he isn't a Hall of Famer because of years with the Cubs.

Richie Ashburn was born on this day in 1927.

Read all about his Cubs years here.

Toyota Sign

The Cubs are proposing putting a huge Toyota billboard above the left field bleachers.

My first thought is that they should put it in right field. It might make Kosuke feel a little more at home. He won two batting titles in Japan. Maybe a little reminder of home will remind him how to hit.

The Census

I got mine in the mail this week. I'm worried about filling it out because I'm sure this is some sort of a plot to round up my guns. (I don't actually own one, but not because I have a moral problem with it. It's just a preventative move on my part to avoid accidentally shooting myself.)

Stephen Colbert has a slightly different take on the Census...

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
United States Census 2010
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care reform

Henry Blake

It was on this day in 1975 that M*A*S*H killed off Lt. Col. Henry Blake, proud graduate of the University of Illinois...

The Husband Store

Thanks to "JT" for sending this one in...

The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor. The sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.' So she continues upward . The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth f loor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!' Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

Bronco Billy

Bronco Billy was one of America's first silent movie stars, and he was based right here in Chicago...during the time of the Cubs greatest dynasty.

He was born this week in 1880.

Read all about his Chicago days here.

If you were a corporation

This is brilliant, and not just because it says what I've been saying. It says it in a much funnier way. Fast forward to the 5:00 minute mark. From that point to the end of the video is really really great.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
In Dodd We Trust
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Reform

An Irish toast

An Irish Joke for St. Patrick's Day

There was once an Irishman named Murphy who walked into an American Bar. He sat down and asked the Bartender "Give me three shots o' your finest Irish Whiskey!" the Bartender complies.

After about a week the bartender asks, "Murphy, would it be better for yeh if I put all three shots of Irish Whiskey into one glass?"

Murphy replied, "well no. See I have two other brothers back at home, Patrick and Owen, and everytime I come into a Pub or Bar I order a shot for each o' them so I can remember the good times."

Well, after another week of this routine, Murphy comes into the bar and only asks for two shots of Irish Whiskey. The bartender immediately says "Murphy, is everything ok? Did somethin' happen to one of your brothers?" "Oh no", Murphy said, "I just decided to quit drinkin!"

Nat King Cole

Here's another St. Patrick's day birthday, the merry Irishman Nat King Cole.* He was born on St. Patrick's day 1919. I ran into this old clip the other day and thought I would share...




*He might not be technically Irish.

Born on St. Patrick's Day

Charlie Root (1899)








Hank Sauer (1917)













Cub Fan Gary Sinise (1955)













Cub Fan Billy Corgan (1967)

Timber!

Do you believe in omens?

The Cubs were on the way to a game versus the Rockies yesterday, when their bus broke down.

Here's the full story.

I'm not an expert in omens and signs, but I'm guessing this isn't a good one.

Scott Simon

Author.

NPR reporter.

Cubs Fan.

Birthday boy. (58 years old today)

Bobby Bonds

Bobby Bonds was born on this day in 1946.

He was a great ballplayer. He had power and speed and charisma. Bobby starred for the Giants, the Yankees, and the Angels.

And yes, he also played for the Cubs. Notice I didn't say he starred for the Cubs. In fact, he was god awful.

Bobby, of course, was also Barry's dad. During Bobby's long illness, Barry even showed actual streaks of humanity. Bobby passed away in 2003.

Father Knows Nothing

I just posted my latest Father Knows Nothing column at NWI Parent. This week's is called "Just the Two of Us," and it's about my weekend home alone with my seven year old boy Sean.

You can read it here.

Chicago Radio Spotlight: Chuck Buell

This week I talk to Chuck Buell. 

Buell was a rock jock on the Big 89 WLS, in the late 60s and early 70s. He has some great stories about those days.

Read the interview here.

The Walking Wounded

We spent four hours in the emergency room yesterday.

Another broken bone in the Kaempfer house. This time it's Sean. Broken index finger.

He's been very brave about it. His first question to the nurse in the ER was "When can I start playing baseball again? This is important spring training time."

Happy Birthday Johnny Kaempfer

He's 12 today.

I remember the day he was born like it was yesterday.

Johnny Callison

If he were still alive, Johnny Callison would be 69 years old today. He passed away a few years ago (2006).

You remember Johnny don't you? He was a three-time all-star...but sadly, not for the Cubs. When he came to the Cubs in 1970, he was pretty much toast. Good thing we didn't give up one of our best prospects (Oscar Gamble) for him.

Read more about that trade here.

Pete Gray

The one armed outfielder was born this week 95 years ago. He wasn't on the Chicago Cubs, but what the heck. His story is one of the most remarkable tales in baseball history.

He played one season for the St. Louis Browns (1945), and he hit only .218, but that's better than Aaron Miles, Ryan Freel, Tyler Colvin, and Joey Gathright did for the Cubs in 2009...and it's the same as Geovany Soto's 2009 average.

Watch the newsreel about Pete here.

Milton Bradley calls out Lou

Here's the article.










This is the gist of it...

In his latest salvo aimed at the Cubs, Milton Bradley claims he wanted manager Lou Piniella to apologize to him in front of his teammates after Piniella called him a "piece of (expletive)" during a confrontation last June.

Piniella declined, according to Bradley.

"The next day, he called me into his office and wanted to apologize," Bradley told ESPN. "I felt you put me on blast, called me out in front of everybody, you're going to apologize in front of everybody."

I wish Milton the best, but I gotta tell you, I won't miss the needless drama.

The Price is Creepy

Bob Barker loves the ladies...

1910/1935

One hundred years ago this week, the Cubs are preparing for yet another NL Pennant winning season. (Photo: Three Finger Mordecai Brown). Meanwhile, in England, David Niven is born.




Seventy five years ago this week, the Cubs are preparing for yet another NL Pennant winning season. Meanwhile, in Germany, Adolf Hitler announces that the Germans have decided to rearm. (Look away...nothing to worry about here.)

Lies we tell our kids

According to Parentdish, a parenting column on AOL, these are the top ten lies we tell our children. (Or at least variations of these ten, personalized for your specific children)...

1. I always paid attention in school.
2. There's no such thing as a favorite child. All of you are my favorites.
3. Sorry, the playground is closed today.
4. Cuddles the Hamster went to live on a nice farm. Yes, the same one where your goldfish went.
5. I have Santa Claus's cell phone number on speed dial. Do you want me to tell him how you're acting?
6. Whoops, the KidzBop CD is in Dad's car and he already left for work.
7. "SpongeBob" isn't on this week. And the DVD player is broken. And the cable is out.
8. Of course I wore to work today the macaroni necklace and bracelet you made me.
9. Daddy is allergic to cats/dogs/birds/reptiles.
10. I never took drugs.

I'm guilty of seven of these, but I prefer not to call them lies. I call them mental health breaks (especially #6,7 & 8).

The ones I never told: #1, 9, & 10.

I could never convince them I always paid attention in school. I can't even pay attention at home. Also, I really am allergic to just about everything--that's not a lie. And as for #10, they've never asked.

The Handsome Men Club

I'm becoming a bigger and bigger Jimmy Kimmel fan. This is funny.

Andre's Blank Contract

It happened on this day in 1987.

Read all about it here.

Andre Dawson practically had to beg the Cubs to sign him.

Joe D.

Joe DiMaggio died on this day in 1999. You've seen him a million different times, but have you seen this?

Spring Training 1946

The boys were home from war, the Cubs were defending NL champs, and everything looked rosy in Spring Training 1946.

Watch the Cubs in action here.

That's the last time you'll ever see them as defending National League champs.

Father Knows Nothing

I just posted a new Father Knows Nothing column. This one is called "Someone's Knocking on the Door" and it involves a few areas of etiquette that I apparently had failed to discuss with my boys.

You can read it here.