Actor Jon Voight went on a rant at the Republican Convention last night about "the liberal media". (Details are here.)
As a twenty-plus year member of the liberal media, I think it's time to make a confession. I could get my membership revoked for revealing this, but here goes. It's all true.
Once a week we meet in secret places in every major city in America (not the real America--just the blue states). At these meetings, we usually say a pledge to Karl Marx (although some will free-lance a little and praise either Lenin, Stalin, Mao, or Obama), and then we plan out the best ways to silence the most discriminated against people in this nation--Conservatives. It's not easy to keep the only good people in America down, but that's our mission, and we won't rest until we succeed. After that, we usually eat something "European" while drinking a Latte and smoking a marijuana cigarette we just lit with the burning embers of the American flag. The meeting always ends with our "Death to America" chant (in Arabic or Spanish), and our "Viva Satan" dance.
Then, it's back to work at one of the six multi-billion dollar corporations that own the media (and by the way, contribute millions to the Republican party.)
If I had a dime for every time we sat around a table and laughed at you (that evil arch-villain kind of laugh), I'd be a millionaire too.
Like Jon Voight.
And wow, would I be pissed off at my good fortune.
