THE BALD MINUTE by Rick Kaempfer & Dave Stern
"Bald Rage"
In her book “On Death & Dying,” Elizabeth Kubler-Ross identified the five stages of grieving; Denial & Isolation, Anger & Rage, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. The bald or balding male goes through the same stages while grieving for his hair loss, but no-one recognizes or acknowledges that pain. Until now.
In our upcoming book, “The Bald Handbook,” co-author Dave Stern (bald) and I (balding) leave no bald stone unturned as we look at each stage closely and help the balding male cope with his painful reality. Until the book comes out, this blog will present nuggets and pearls of wisdom from the book in short weekly segments, we call…”The Bald Minute.” (This feature is available for radio syndication. Click on the e-mail link on the right to inquire.)
R: Welcome to another episode of “The Bald Minute.” Today’s Bald Minute subject?
D: Bald Rage
R: Often, a bald man suffering through the second stage of grieving for his hair loss--
D: Anger & Rage--
R: …experiences sudden bursts of uncontrollable anger. Often the trigger for his rage can be something as simple as hearing a certain type of music.
D: For instance, Hair Bands. That’s one that really rubs it in our face, don’t you think?
R: But what can a Stage 2 bald man do about it, Dave?
D: Well, for one thing, it’s perfectly OK to hate all members of all hair bands during Stage 2.
R: Ratt, Whitesnake, Poison, Guns & Roses, Motley Crew?
D: Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.
R: But we’re not advocating violence against hair bands. We’re more civilized than that.
D: We recommend using words to convey your anger.
R: For instance, if you’re ever lucky enough to meet a member of a hair band, try saying this to the preening rocker…
D: “I’ll come check out your set after I grab a corndog and ride the Tilt-A-Whirl.”
R: Remember, it’s OK to hate during Stage 2 grieving.
D: It’s what makes it the most fun of the five stages.
R: For more information about bald rage or balding, check out our upcoming book, “The Bald Handbook.” Reporting for the Bald Minute, I’m Rick Kaempfer.
D: And I’m Dave Stern.
ATTN: BALD OR BALDING GUYS!
We're accumulating a comprehensive list of celebrities worthy of our hate (think thick lucious hair) during Stage 2 grieving. Send us examples, by clicking the word 'comments' below, or the e-mail link on the right.
BALD BONUS!!!
Here's a music tip for you Stage 2 balding guys. If you like folk rock, and have a hankering for James Taylor...
His old stuff will tick you off. Not very good.
But, wow, is his new stuff good.
