The day my father told me the facts of life is a story right out of a 1950s Norman Rockwell painting. Imagine if you will, a professor/father with his pipe, wearing his suit coat and tie in his study at home. He calls for his boy to join him.
“Young John, come in and sit down.”
Then he explained to me in clinical detail about exactly how sexual intercourse worked. Direct, and to the point, without any embellishment. No vernacular, no slang.
OK, thanks Dad. Sounds good. I think I’ll give it a try.
By then, I had definitely already taken note of the opposite sex. Watching television had a lot to do with that because The Mickey Mouse Club was on every day after school. One Mouseketeer in particular had an impact on me; Annette Funicello. Yes, she was beautiful. Yes, she was talented. But more importantly, as time went on she developed breasts right before our very eyes. The Mouseketeers wore sweaters with their names spelled out, and as the years progressed, Annette’s “A” and “E” grew farther and farther apart. I’m telling you, it was a sensation. I finally got to interview the girl of my childhood dreams when I was working in Toronto in the ’80s. It was fabulous. If you can believe it, she told me that she felt very self-conscious when she was on The Mickey Mouse Club because she was the only “ethnic” one, and how did she put it? I believe she said she looked a little bit different than the others. Yeah Annette, I think we know what you mean.
"Records Truly Is My Middle Name" is available at Eckhartz Press as a trade paperback, and via all the usual suspects as an e-book, including amazon.
