Friday, September 21, 2018

Talk about Sibling Rivalry

Check out this ad. Six of the Congressman's own siblings do an ad for his opponent...

Chet in Blue Island

What are you doing for the Bears-Cardinals game on Sunday? I'll be at the Blue Island Beer Company (13357 Olde Western Ave, Blue Island, IL) with Chet Coppock. Chet will do a pre-game chat with everyone there, and will stay for the game--signing and selling copies of his book "Your Dime, My Dance Floor: Chet Coppock in Pursuit of Chet Coppock". Should be a great time. We'll be there from about 2:30--6:30. Come on by and enjoy the afternoon. As an aside, the beer is really good there. They brew their own. Last time I was there I took home a growler or two.

Chet out their beers here.

Happy Birthday Bill Murray

He's got this going for him, which is nice.

Chevy Chase

The Washington Post took a deep dive into the career of Chevy Chase, and tried to figure out why he is basically persona-non-grata these days.

It's a long piece, but it's really good.

I only had one encounter with Chevy in my life. I was given his home phone number during his days hosting a late night talk show on Fox, and I called him up to ask if he would be on our show (Landecker's show).

He told me to fuck off and lose the number.

Octypuses on Ecstacy

I think they've officially run out of things to study.

In this current study, scientists have discovered that octypuses get cuddly on the mood drug ecstacy.

I wish I was in the meeting when they pitched this study? "My wife says I get a little grabby on X, and who has more arms than me? An Octypus. It's a natural."

Thursday, September 20, 2018

Jim Croce

He died on this day in 1973--a plane crash in Louisiana. He was only 30 years old.

Richard Reeder in Northbrook

On Monday night Eckhartz Press author Richard Reeder will be appearing at Max & Benny's in Northbrook (461 Waukegan Rd) at 7pm to read from and sign his great new book "1001 Train Rides in Chicago". See you there?

Sunday Afternoon

I will be there too. Looking forward to an afternoon of beer and football. If you're in the neighborhood, stop by! Should be a great time.

Wednesday, September 19, 2018

Sean Kaempfer

My youngest son Sean turns 16 years old today.

In honor of his birthday I'm posting a few old Father Knows Nothing columns from his youth. These two columns didn't make the final version of the book, but they remain very good insights into the boy...

The first one was written in 2009, when he was 7 years old.

The other morning when I woke up my youngest son Sean, it was immediately clear he was waking up on the right side of the bed.

“You know, Dad,” he said, as he rubbed his eyes. “Life is good.”

I laughed, and agreed.

“I really mean it,” he continued as he climbed down the stairs of his bunk bed. “Think about it. I’ve got it pretty good here. I mean, this is a nice house.”

I nodded. “Nice enough, I suppose.”

“And look at all my stuff. I’ve got a lot of pretty cool stuff.”

“Yes, that’s true,” I concurred.

Our dog Ivy came up to lick his hand. He let her lick his left hand, while he patted her head with his right.

“And this dog. We’ve got a beautiful dog. Look at how awesome this dog is.”

“Are you sure you’re not sleepwalking?” I asked.

“I’m awake, Dad,” he said. “It’s just that sometimes you have to remind yourself how good you have it. I’ve got everything I ever needed.”

“OK,” I said suspiciously, “Now I know you’re up to something. What is it?”

“Nothing,” he said. “Honestly. Nothing. Everything is great.”

He walked into the kitchen and began to make himself some breakfast. I followed him.

“Don’t forget, you have great parents too,” I reminded him.

He put his cereal box down, and looked up at me. “You know what,” he said. “That’s true. You and mom are awesome parents.”

“And you have great brothers too,” I added.

“Dad,” he said, showing me his palm. “Don’t push it.”

I should have quit while I was ahead.

The second one was written in 2010, when he was 8. His brother Johnny was 12 at the time, and his oldest brother Tommy was 15.

Sean calmly told me that the fighting that used to consume every waking moment in our house would never happen again. He seemed pretty confident about it.

“And how are you going to manage that?” I asked.

“I figured out a way to protect myself and make Tommy and Johnny laugh at the same time,” he said. “Want to see it?”

So he ran into the basement, fiddled around with a few things, and then called me downstairs to unveil his incredible new invention. His voice was a little muffled, and I soon discovered why.

“How does this work?” I asked.

“Well, when Johnny gets mad, I just put on these rolled up sleeping pads. If he stays mad I can block his punches and it won’t hurt. If he pushes me over, I’ll land on pads, and it won’t hurt. But mostly he just laughs at how stupid I look, and the fight just ends.”

You may mock this device, but I should tell you that we’ve now gone two full months without a fight in my house. That’s nearly Guinness World Records worthy.

Tune in Tomorrow Night

Chet and I will be on WONC in Naperville...

Music Modernization Act

The Senate passed a bill yesterday about music rights, and the RAMP Newsletter has the details...

The three-part legislation would accomplish the following: 1) For Songwriters: Create a new and transparent collection entity to ensure that songwriters always get paid for mechanical licenses when digital services use their work while helping ASCAP and BMI secure fairer rates for their songwriters. Establish fair compensation for songwriters when the government sets rates. 2) For Artists: Closes the "pre-1972 loophole" so that digital services will pay legacy artists the compensation they deserve and establish fair compensation for artists when the government sets rates. 3) For Studio Pros: Gives copyright protection to producers and engineers for the first time in history.

Good news for musical artists who have really been taken advantage of since the beginning of time.

Bert & Ernie

For years there were rumors that Sesame Street's Bert & Ernie were more than just roommates...if you know what I mean. Well, after a writer from the program intimated the same, Sesame Street producers were asked if it was true or not.

“As we have always said, Bert and Ernie are best friends,” said the nonprofit education organization behind the PBS series. “They were created to teach preschoolers that people can be good friends with those who are very different from themselves. Even though they are identified as male characters and possess many human traits and characteristics … they remain puppets, and do not have a sexual orientation.”

Magic Number is 8

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Jimi Hendrix

Gone since this day in 1970. Had he lived, he would be 75 years old now.

Toad from Mario

Just read this in the Daily Beast. Can't unread it. Now you can't either...

Ever since Stormy Daniels said she was writing a tell-all book, there has been feverish anticipation about what dirt she’d reveal about Donald Trump—but it’s safe to say no one predicted this. According to a copy obtained by The Guardian, the book gives excruciating detail of her alleged affair with Trump, including one nightmarish image in which she compares the president’s penis to Toad—the incredibly annoying mushroom character from Mario. “He knows he has an unusual penis,” Daniels writes in a book fittingly titled Full Disclosure. “It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool… I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart... It may have been the least impressive sex I’d ever had, but clearly, he didn’t share that opinion.” So, now you know.

One final question. Is there a Yeti combover?

Nice Moment Last Night


This is an unheard of sales number...

Solution to Supreme Court Mess

Let's face it, the hyper-partisanship in this country is turning the government into a dysfunctional body, incapable of even the simplest of confirming a Supreme Court justice.

The Republicans are crying foul about this Cavanagh situation, which is particularly galling because they literally stole a Supreme Court seat from Obama.

How can we get past this? I have a solution that will bring this country together, or at the very least, end the inevitable payback loop we are now engaged in.

Trump should withdraw Cavanagh. Nominate the rightful Justice Merrick Garland. Consider Neil Gorsuch your newest Supreme Court justice. This is his rightful seat now. He would no longer have an asterisk next to his name, would no longer be considered an illegitate justice installed unconstitutionally. Democrats could no longer bring up the stolen seat. Republicans could reclaim a moral high ground--something they haven't been able to do in more than a decade.


4 Different Personality Types

A brand new Northwestern study has found that there are basically four different personality types in the world, and you almost certainly fall into one of the categories.

They are...

Average: Average people are high in neuroticism and extraversion, while low in openness. This is the most common personality type.

Reserved: The Reserved type is emotionally stable but not open or neurotic. They are not particularly extraverted but are somewhat agreeable and conscientious.

Role Models: Role models score low in neuroticism and high in all the other traits. They are good leaders, dependable and open to new ideas.

Self Centered: Self-Centered people score very high in extraversion and below average in openness, agreeableness, and conscientiousness.

I can't figure out which one I am.

Vine Line Signing Off

From this morning's Robert Feder column...

It’s the end of the line for Vine Line after 32 years as the official magazine of the Chicago Cubs. The December issue will be its last. “As we explore and invest in new and existing content delivery platforms to meet the evolving ways our fans consume Cubs news and features, we’ve made the decision to discontinue Vine Line at the end of the year,” the club wrote in a message to season ticket holders. Former Cubs public relations director Bob Ibach recalled that he launched the slick magazine in 1986 as a way to monetize the Die-Hard Cubs newsletter.

The Emmy Awards

I admit I didn't watch it (Cmon, both Bears & Cubs were on), but here's the list of all the winners.

Among the winners, John Oliver, SNL, Game of Thrones, and a bunch of Emmys went to a show I've never seen or heard of (but now must seek out)...The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.

Behind the Scenes with Chet Coppock at the Steve Dahl Show

A few behind the scenes shots of Chet Coppock's appearance yesterday on the Steve Dahl show. It was fun hearing the two old friends reminisce and chat about Chet's new Eckhartz Press book "Your Dime, My Dance Floor: Chet Coppock in Pursuit of Chet Coppock". Also ran into my former producing partner Vince Argento, another old Loop alum.

Monday, September 17, 2018

Chet & Steve

Heading down to the WLS Radio studios this afternoon with Eckhartz Press author @ChetCoppock . Chet will be a guest on the Steve Dahl show beginning at 4pm. Tune in to 890 AM if you get the chance. These two have lots of stories about each other from their years at the Loop.


Watch the guys walking behind the Weather Channel reporter...

The High School Incident

I know this incident between the young girl and the young Brett Kavanaugh happened over thirty years ago. You can decide for yourself whether or not it should derail his attempt at joining the Supreme Court.

But I read her account, and it sure sounds believable to me.

The question is, in this #metoo moment are we just going to Anita Hill her? I sure hope the answer is no, but I'm not optimistic.

Minutia Men, Episode 107

EP107: Rick and Dave discuss Amazon caging workers, 246 Nicoles, cleaning up New Orleans, Cubs that share a birthday with Dave, celebs that Rick has met on airplanes, and they interview Cousin Oliver from the Brady Bunch–Robbie Rist.

Listen to it here.