For years I would just tell these stories from my radio days to my friends. One time when I was in the middle of a story, a buddy of mine said, "You need to write these down." In 2007, I did just that. I wrote a weekly column called Celebrity Snippets.
Here are three of them I wrote that year. All are appropriate to retell this week. Charmian Carr passed away this week in 2016 (September 17), Mike Royko was born this week in 1932 (September 19), and Cassandra Peterson (Elvira) is also celebrating a birthday this week. (September 17).
***
Charmian Carr played the part of "Liesl" in the Oscar winning film "The Sound of Music."
Last time in Celebrity Snippets, I wrote about my encounter Julie Andrews, but these are the essential ingredients of the story for you to understand the significance of my encounter with Charmian Carr.
When I was growing up, The Sound of Music was a very important film in our house. My father came from Austria and he forced us to watch it so many times that we knew the film by heart. After he died, The Sound of Music reminded us of Dad even more.
I made the mistake of telling John Landecker about this, and he thought it was hilarious that a 30-something straight male loved that movie. He brought me along to an interview with Julie Andrews to embarrass me. He thought I was in love with her--but I confessed after the interview that I was actually in love with the girl who played Liesl, Charmian Carr.
As it turns out, telling that to John was an even bigger mistake.
I figured the odds of running into her were minimal, but wouldn't you know it, she came to Chicago just a few years later to promote a sing-a-long version of The Sound of Music. When John heard she was coming, he insisted that I book her to appear on the show.
I did. But I knew I was in for it.
He wouldn't tell me what was going on in the days before the interview, but I heard a lot of whispering between John and the other members of the show. Whenever I walked into the room, they shut up. Or they laughed. I was bracing for the worst.
On the morning of the interview, I was unbelievably nervous. John had even been warning the audience about my childhood love of Liesl, and that something truly memorable was about to occur.
She arrived at the studio about fifteen minutes early, so I met her at the door and brought her to the green room. I must say, she was still quite beautiful. I know she's easily fifteen years older than me, and I know how ridiculous this sounds, but I couldn't even bring myself to shake her hand. I had sweaty palms.
I tried to warn her that something was going to happen. I told her that John had been teasing me about my love of the movie, and described our Julie Andrews experience to her. She seemed amused by it all, but I must admit...I had a difficult time maintaining eye contact.
Take a look at those eyes.
When I brought her into the studio, John was nearly bouncing off his seat with excitement. Within seconds, he was handing each of us a script, and explaining to the audience what was about to occur.
He had transcribed the love scene between Liesl and Rolf, and wanted to know if Charmian would recreate that scene live on the air, with me playing the part of Rolf. I don't think I've ever been more embarrassed in my life.
She was obviously a little taken aback by this, but after looking at me, shrugged her shoulders and said "Sure, what the heck."
John cued the music, and boom, we were acting out the scene. I was sitting five feet away from the real Liesl, and she was calling me "Rolf" with love in her voice. I stammered through my first line, which sent John into convulsions, and onto the floor, but it didn't stop Charmian. She was such a good sport about it.
We did the entire scene. For those two or three minutes, she was sixteen going on seventeen, and I was the blond-haired Austrian teenager she was in love with.
Can I confess it now?
It was probably one of my all-time favorite moments in my radio career because it was such a unique and personal experience.
Don't tell that to John, though. It would ruin the moment for him.
How many people have both of these autographs on their "Sound of Music" soundtrack?
***
Mike Royko was a legendary newspaper columnist in Chicago for the Chicago Daily News, the Chicago Sun-Times, and the Chicago Tribune. He passed away in 1997.
In the mid-90s the John Landecker show was co-hosted by Vicki Truax, who was married to legendary Chicago TV sportscaster Tim Weigel.
Through Vicki, Tim became a friend of mine. Tim was a gregarious guy, and it seemed like we were invited to parties at his huge Evanston mansion all the time. The guest lists at these parties read like a who's who of Chicago's media, including one of Tim's very best friends; Mike Royko.
I grew up reading him, and I considered him one of America's greatest living writers, but he was not exactly known as a warm and fuzzy guy. I was actually scared to death of him. Whenever I got into a conversation anywhere near the man, I just prayed I didn't say anything stupid. I respected his talent so much it would have killed me if he thought I was an idiot. (And he thought just about everyone was an idiot—he was famous for his ability to slice and dice with an effortlessly tossed barb.)
Therefore, whenever Royko was around, I was mute. I just liked standing near him and listening to his stories. I was pretty sure he had no idea who I was, and I liked it that way, but I was pretty sure it couldn't last forever.
I was right.
At one of these shindigs I was talking to Tim about something we had done on the radio show that week. It was a wacky parody song about John Wayne Bobbitt, the most famous man in America at that time. (Remember him? He was the guy who had his thingee cut off by his wife.) Tim really thought the song was funny, and asked me if I wrote it.
While I was in the middle of openly admitting that I wrote a wacky parody song about a guy who had his penis cut off, I didn't see America's most respected newspaper columnist walk up next to me. When I saw him, my heart sank. He was clearly listening in on the conversation.
At that moment I knew I would no longer be able blend into the walls and just listen to Royko.
"You wrote that Bobbitt song?" he asked me.
I gulped and braced myself for the slap-down king's inevitable slap-down.
"Yes he did," Tim answered for me. "Did you hear it?"
Royko nodded. "Yeah, my wife had it on in the car," he said. I could hear the disdain in his voice. I knew he wasn't a regular listener of the show.
Tim asked him the one question I never would have asked in a million years. "What did you think of it?"
Royko looked at me, and just for a second, a crooked little grin formed at the corner of his mouth. "I thought it was genius," he said.
I don't remember anything else that happened at the party that night. I don't even remember leaving the party, or getting home. I might have flown home, I'm not sure. But I'll always remember that one little moment when the wacky parody song writer was given the momentary seal of approval from one of his idols.
On the other hand, as my wife always points out when I tell this story, "He was hitting the gin pretty hard that night."
As if that matters.
***
In the 1980s actress Cassandra Peterson became nationally known as “Elvira; Mistress of the Dark.” She continues to play that role to this day.
The year was 1989.
It was right around Halloween, and I thought it would be fun to have Elvira on the Steve & Garry show to talk about the holiday.
Steve & Garry weren’t exactly huge fans, but I convinced them that it was thematically appropriate to have Elvira on the show during the last week of October. They agreed, but they did so grudgingly.
When she called from her home in Los Angeles the day of the interview, I answered the phone, and the conversation went something like this…
“Hello this is Cassandra calling the Steve & Garry show.”
“Elvira?” I asked.
“That’s a character I play,” she said. “Please call me Cassandra.”
“OK, Cassandra. You’ll be on the air with Steve & Garry in just a minute. Obviously we’ll be talking about Halloween. Please hold.”
I put her on hold for a second and stared at the phone. I had that queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I picked up the phone again.
“You will be going by ‘Elvira’ on the air, right?” I asked.
“That’s not my name,” she said. “My name is Cassandra. If they want to discuss the character of Elvira, and how I get into the character, I’d be happy to do that.”
“OK, thanks,” I said. “Please hold.”
That’s when I knew it was going to be a horrible train wreck. Steve & Garry had an incredibly low threshold for actors who took themselves too seriously. I walked into the studio during the commercial break, and prepared to take my punishment.
"Elvira's on hold," I said.
“Tell her we’ll get to her after the commercials,” Steve responded, barely looking up at me.
I cleared my throat.
“Actually…there’s something you should know before we put her on.”
Steve looked up. His radar was beeping.
“What?”
“Um…well, she wants you to call her... Cassandra.”
Steve gave me the classic “Bye Bye Now” flight attendant wave.
“Get rid of her?” I asked.
"No," Steve said. The sarcasm was dripping. "I'm sure our listeners would love to hear all about someone named Cassandra."
And that was that.
I thanked Cassandra for calling and apologized that we had run out of time.
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