Media Notebook--9-23-22

MEDIA NOTEBOOK

A curation of news items about the media from this past week, with a particular emphasis on Chicago…

 

RADIO/PODCASTS

 

*St. Louis Radio Blow Up

=You have to hear this tirade to believe it. A St. Louis morning radio host (Vic Faust) went completely nuts on his female co-host in a profanity laced tirade that even shocked the unshockable me. I’ve been in some toxic radio studios before, but I’ve never heard anything like this.

=I had three thoughts when I first heard the audio. First thought: this dude is not only going to be fired (he eventually was), but his career may never recover from this. Second thought: his co-workers clearly hated him. The fact that this off-air conversation was recorded at all, and then leaked to the press anonymously, means that somebody in that room really wanted him gone. Third thought: If I got this upset when someone mocked my computer skills, I would have had a grabber years ago. (Ask anyone who has had to help me with a computer issue. But at least I can take a joke about my ineptitude).

=I predict this tape will join the profanity-freak-out hall of fame, alongside my all-time favorite, Casey Kasem talking about a dog dying. Is Don on the phone?

 

 

*WBBM-AM remains Top 5 radio station in country (in revenue)

=In 2019, they were in 5^th place. In 2020, they were in 3^rd. The new rankings for 2021 just came out, and WBBM-AM is in 4^th place in the country, with a revenue of $34 million in 2021. No other Chicago station shows up in the top ten.

=The top grossing radio station in the country remains WTOP in Washington D.C. They brought in $70 million in 2021.

 

 

*Ryan Williams Moves to Milwaukee

=The former staffer at the Score and the Drive, and the former promotions manager at WXRT and B-96, is moving over the northern border to take a gig in Milwaukee. He will be the new director of marketing for Good Karma Milwaukee, which includes WTMJ, WKTI, and WGKB.

 

 

*Q-101’s Twisted Christmas Lineup

=The lineup for the annual Christmas concert sponsored by Q-101 has been announced. The Aragon Ballroom will be the location. December 6, 8, and 9^th will be the dates. Here’s the lineup: Portugal, the Man, Bob Moses & Beach Bunny (6^th), Jack White, Wet Leg and Starcrawler (8^th), and the 1975 (9^th). Tickets are available through ticketmaster.

 

 

*ESPN’s David Kaplan’s Charity Walk

=ESPN Radio and Bernie’s Book Bank staged a walk yesterday for charity. The goal of the organization is to distribute books to underprivileged kids in the Chicago area who ordinarily wouldn’t be able to afford them. The walk is the brainchild of morning man David Kaplan, who led the 20-mile walk with the CEO of Bernie’s Book Bank.

 

 

*Health Updates

=Hub Arkush’s son Arthur tweeted another update about his dad’s health this week. It says: After 31 days in ICU, Dad underwent successful surgery Friday and is underway on another long but increasingly hopeful road to recovery. Thank you for all of your support. The only thing more remarkable is our family & dad’s strength & determination. More positive updates soon.

=Former Chicago radio pro (and current Tampa Rays announcer) Dave Wills had a big scare this past week. He was in Toronto when he had a heart issue and had to be taken to the hospital. He is recovering well, and even posted this video explaining what happened.

Just a little update… thanks for all the well wishes. pic.twitter.com/1WDghqrjv8

— Dave Wills (@davewills34) September 18, 2022

 

 

*Podcast Corner

=Huge week for True Crime podcast fans. Adnan Syad, the subject of the incredibly popular podcast Serial, was released from prison this week when his murder conviction was overturned. Of course, there’s still the little matter of not really knowing if he is guilty or not. Columbia Journalism Review looks at that part of the story.

=Radio Girl interviews former Chicago radio man Sam Panayotovich.

=Chicago historian Shermann Dilla Thomas has a great podcast on the WBEZ site, discussing the names of Chicago’s neighborhoods.

=The Chicago Radio Timeline Facebook page posted another absolute gem from the wayback machine. This is an interview of former WLS jock Bernie Allen. Bernie was huge in the 60s. This interview is from 1985. It was recorded by Bill Schenhold.

=Podcast Multi-Media: A Case Study. Charlie Meyerson breaks down his latest podcast and uses it as a teaching tool for other podcasters.

=For Foodies: The Dining Table is a new podcast from Check Please! creator David Manilow and Crain's Chicago.

 

 

*Radio Producer’s Handbook reunion

=I went out to see John “Swany” Swanson’s band play last weekend, and this photo was snapped. The two of us wrote the book The Radio Producer’s Handbook together 18 years ago this month.

 

 

 

MEDIA MILESTONES/BIRTHDAYS

 

*WXRT’s night jock Ryan Arnold celebrated a birthday on September 19^th. I had a chance to interview Ryan in 2017 for the Illinois Entertainer. Lots of interesting info in that piece, including how “Take your kids to work” day eventually led to his career.

 

*Chicago-area broadcasting vet Mike Tomano is another September 19^th birthday boy. I interviewed Mike back in 2008 for Chicago Radio Spotlight.

 

*The Drive’s Jill Egan had a birthday on September 20^th. I talked to Jill when I interviewed the hosts of the morning show(Sherman and Tingle) for Illinois Entertainer in 2019.

 

*September 21^st is Bill Kurtis’ birthday. I’ve never had the opportunity to write about Bill, but I did interview him recently on my Minutia Men Celebrity Interview podcast. We covered a lot of ground, including his time at Channel 2, his work on NPR’s Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me, and his early days in radio when he went by the name Tony Kurtis.

 

*Captain Whammo was the wild-man morning host at WMET in the late 70s. When I tracked him down for Chicago Radio Spotlight in 2012, I was shocked to discover he has gone a very different direction since he left Chicago. His birthday is September 22^nd.

 

*WBBM-AM’s morning co-host Cisco Cotto is the birthday boy today (September 23). He was with WIND-AM 560 when I chatted with him back in 2008, and then at WLS-AM 890 when I interviewed him in 2010. Both interviews can be accessed here.

 

*Fellow Audacy morning man Marty Lennartz also has a birthday today. I interviewed Marty for Chicago Radio Spotlight in 2010.

 

*September 24, 1970, the Partridge Family debuted on NBC. Former Chicago radio talker Danny Bonaduce had a starring role on that show. He told a few entertaining stories about those days when I interviewed him for my Minutia Men Celebrity Interview a few years ago.

 

TV/STREAMING

 

*R.I.P Charlie Schumacher

=I met Charlie Schumacher 40 years ago, my first day on the air at WPGU in Champaign-Urbana. So sad to hear he passed away this week after a long bout with cancer. In July he announced via his Facebook page that his doctors had advised him there was nothing more they could do for him, and he asked for people to send him stories about old times. I sent him a few of the more colorful stories from our college days. I hope he got a chance to read them. Charlie worked in Chicago media as the senior news director at Comcast Sportsnet, the assistant news director at WGN-TV, and as executive producer at WFLD-TV. He also worked for RivetRadio. Before he came to Chicago, Charlie was a photographer for CNN. Among his most memorable assignments was filming the protest in Tiananmen Square in China.

 

 

*Erin Ivory Returns to WGN-TV

=Ivory has been off the air at WGN for about 18 months dealing with a medical issue. She returned triumphantly on Tuesday, and talked about what she has been going through.

 

 

*Can TV stations reject political ads?

=We’re lucky in Illinois that there aren’t really any close races in the midterm elections. The political ads haven’t been too numerous or painful.  Other states, like Pennsylvania, are getting buried with local political ads. TribLive media writer Rob Owens answers a question from a reader about whether or not a station has the right to simply say no to those ads.

=TikTok is going to ban political ads. The Verge has more on that story.

 

 

*Weatherman Fired for Nude Pics on the Internet

=His name is Erick Adame and he was a meteorologist on local New York television. Turns out, taking off your clothes on a webcam, can come back to haunt you. I’ve seen Erick interviewed a few times since this happened, and he seems to think it’s a generational thing. The older generation doesn’t “get” how things are these days on the internet. Perhaps.

 

 

*Streaming Corner

=Streaming is breaking records. Adweek explains.

=Apple TV is stuck with a high budget Will Smith Civil War movie. Not sure what is more toxic these days, the Civil War or Will Smith. The New York Times explains Apple’s dilemma.

 

 

*Cable News Corner

=Fox News anchor Bret Baier’s credibility took a big hit this week when e-mails and texts he wrote during the 2020 election coverage became public thanks to Peter Baker and Susan Glasser’s new book, The Divider. Behind the scenes Baier was urging the network to change their Arizona announcement and put the state into the Trump totals. Trump was never in the lead in Arizona, and although it got close in the end, the original call by the Fox News election desk was the right one.

=More changes at CNN. The new primetime lineup was announced today, and features Jake Tapper in a more prominent role. This week An Phung, the deputy editor of media and entertainment tweeted that she was leaving the company. The managing editor for CNN Business (who also covered the media) Don Koppelman announced he was leaving too. Seems like being part of the media coverage isn’t a great place to be during this new reign. Although, CNN did announce the return of the Reliable Sources newsletter. It will be scaled back, but they haven’t axed it completely. Yet.

=What is one possible reason cable news ratings are going down? People are avoiding it because it causes them to suffer from anxiety. There’s a deep dive into this phenomenon here.

 =Pew Research Center has done a study on social media's impact on news consumption. You can find that here.

 

*Network TV Corner

=Chicagoan Chris Redd is leaving SNL

=The Golden Globes are returning to TV

=Can the Sunday Morning Talk Show be saved?

=Melissa Stark is back on the NFL Sidelines

 

 

OTHER MEDIA NEWS

 

*The Ferris Bueller tour of Chicago

=It takes the Washington Post to come up with this very Chicago story.

 

 

*Eric Idle’s Recovery from Pancreatic Cancer

=The former Monty Python man manages to find humor in his battle with pancreatic cancer. Time Magazine has the story.

 

 

*MEDIA NOTEBOOK site

I have moved all of the previous Media Notebook columns to it's own site, and will continue to post each of them here. If you'd like to bookmark this page, you can find them all in one place. 

 

If you have any media stories (Chicago or national) that you think I might like to share in future columns, feel free to drop me a line at rick@eckhartzpress.com or amishrick@yahoo.com

 

 

Finishing up Sean Week

 

My youngest son Sean turned 20 this week, so I've been dipping into the Father Knows Nothing archives to pull out some of my old columns about Sean. This one narrowly missed the cut for the book, but it will always be one of my favorites...

Sean had been harboring some suspicions about whether or not the tooth fairy really existed.

“Dad,” he said, totally seriously, “I noticed that your pile of gold dollars is gone. What happened to it?”

“We spent them all,” I said, truthfully.

“So, we have ZERO gold dollars in this house right now?”

“That’s right.”

“And the banks are closed, right?”

“Right.”

“Well,” he said, exposing his smile, and pointing to the new hole where a tooth had just come out, “I guess we’re finally going to find out the truth tonight.”

“The truth about what?” I asked.

“The tooth fairy.”

“How?”

“Well,” he reasoned, “Every other time the tooth fairy has come, there was a pile of gold dollars in the kitchen. How could I know for sure if it was really the tooth fairy leaving me a gold dollar, or if it was YOU!”

He pointed as he accused.

“Me? What am I going to do with a used tooth?”

“I don’t know,” he said, his finger still pointing. “But I’ve got my eye on you. Now that I know you don’t have any gold dollars in the house, and that the bank is closed so you can’t get any more, I’ll know.  If I wake up in the morning and a gold dollar is there, the tooth fairy is real. I’ll let my friends know. We’ve been talking about it at school.”

“Sounds like a plan,” I said.

The next morning he came to the breakfast table with his toothless grin. “Dad,” he said. “I want you to swear on the Bible that you didn’t go to the bank last night and get some more gold dollars.”

“I swear,” I answered truthfully. “The bank was closed.”

“Then we have our answer,” he said. “The tooth fairy is real.”

When his big brothers rolled their eyes, he pounced. “It’s true! There’s no way Mom or Dad could have gotten a gold coin under my pillow because they don’t even have gold coins in the house right now. There’s no question about it. The tooth fairy is real. Right, Dad?”

“Sounds like you’ve got some pretty airtight evidence there,” I said.

Sean looked me right in the eye. “You know, Dad, I’m going to tell my friends that this is true now. Is there anything else you’d like to say to me before I go to school? One last chance?”

It took all of my earthly restraint not to smile. He was letting me know in no uncertain terms that his credibility was at stake here, and he’d never forgive me if I led him astray.

What would you have done?

I just smiled, patted him on the head, and walked away.

Eckhartz Everyday

 *On this day in 2018, Chet Coppock made an appearance in Blue Island at the Blue Island Brewing Company. Chet held court during a Bears game, gave a little speech, and had a great time. Chet passed away the following year, but his book Your Dime My Dance Floor is still available at Eckhartz Press.

Sean Week Continues

 

My youngest son Sean turned 20 years old this week. I've been using that as an excuse to go through my old Father Knows Nothing files and featuring a few of my columns about Sean that didn't make it into the final text of the book. Here's one about his very brief brush with show biz from 2008...

Sean has always felt like he missed something because he was just a baby when my radio career ended. His brothers both appeared on the radio and in our stage shows many times–it was totally normal to them. They were literally born into the business.

We have audio tapes of Tommy singing and telling jokes as a 2-year-old, and Johnny doing movie reviews as a three year old, and pictures of their appearances on the radio and on-stage, but Sean was too young to participate when our contract expired five years ago.

So, when John Landecker called me last week and said “We’re getting the band (Landecker & the Legends) together again” for a concert at a small theater, Sean was the most excited about going. These shows are a real family affair for us. I write the comedy lyrics to the songs for John, Bridget creates the costumes for him (and he requests some weird things), and we all help out in the backstage area.

One of the bits John does in the show is bring up a little kid to sing the song “Tequila.” The song only has one word (”Tequila”), so even a small youngster can handle it, and this time the youngster he brought onto the stage was Sean.

He was excited to do it, but when he walked onto the stage, the crowd let out a collective “Awwwwww” which kind of threw him a little bit. (He hates it when everyone tells him how cute he is–and it happens all the time). Then, he felt the hot lights, and the energy in the room, and he got nervous. I could see the panic in his eyes from the side of the stage.

Nevertheless, when the time came, and the song climaxed, and John put the microphone in front of Sean’s face, he delivered the line “Tequila!” perfectly. That’s all he thought he was going to do…but no…that was only the beginning of the bit.

John stopped the band, and started quizzing Sean.

“Do you know what Tequila is?”

“No.”

(The crowd laughed)

“Good. Maybe we shouldn’t have a little boy singing about tequila. What’s your favorite food?”

Sean froze up. He shrugged his shoulders.

John laughed because this has happened many times before. It’s part of the appeal of the bit. Kids being kids.

“What did you have for dinner tonight?” he asked.

Sean shrugged his shoulders again.

“Do you feed this kid?” John screamed to the side of the stage.

“How about candy. What is your favorite candy?”

“Nerds!” he said.

“OK boys, let’s have him sing a brand new song called Nerds.”

And they played the song Tequila again, except this time, instead of saying Tequila, Sean screamed “Nerds!” at the climactic moment.

The crowd loved him and gave him a rousing ovation at the end of the song, but when he got off the stage and came back to us, he was breathing heavily.

“So,” I said to him, “you finally got your chance to be a part of the show. What did you think?”

“It was scary,” he said. “I couldn’t even remember what I ate for dinner.”

“Would you ever do it again?” I asked.

He smiled and nodded. “Oh yeah.”

It terrified him, but he loved it. Showbiz swallows another young soul.

Eckhartz Everyday

*On this day in 2014, Rich King released his second book, Back in the Game. He came back to us earlier this year and wrote another one, the critically acclaimed Ike and Me. His first book My Maggie is also available at Eckhartz Press.

Sean Week Continues

 My youngest son Sean turned 20 this week, and I've used that as an excuse to dig out some old Father Knows Nothing columns about him. Those first few years I did the column Sean was the star because he was home all day with me while his brothers were at school. At the time I wrote this about him, Sean was four years old. That's him on the far right, above.

Here’s a question that Bridget and I have never asked: “Is Sean awake?”

Sean is loud. When he wakes up in the morning, he is already talking. He continues talking for the rest of the day, pausing only to breathe occasionally. The most common question we hear from people who spend a whole day with him is: “Does he ever stop talking?”

No. He doesn’t. He provides a running commentary on every single thing he sees throughout a day. He’s talking right now. He talks when eats. He talks when you’re talking. He even talks in his sleep. When I ask him to be quiet, he isn't quiet enough to hear me.

If you can get past the noise, however, Sean has some great qualities. He’s very intelligent and inquisitive, and his enthusiasm is absolutely contagious. Every single thing is a big deal to him, and that’s fun to watch.

Last night when I asked him what he wants to be when he grows up, he was so excited by the question he couldn’t stop giving me possibilities. After talking it out, he narrowed it down to two choices. He is either going to be a doctor so he can give out band-aids to everyone (he believes that band-aids cure everything), or a fireman because he likes the hats.

My prediction? Politician.

Eckhartz Everyday

 *Today is Bill Murray's birthday. The Caddyshack star rates his own chapter in Randy Merkin's Eckhartz Press book Behind the Glass.

*Today is also Bill Kurtis' birthday. Kurtis contributed a story to our book Cubsessions.

Sean week continues

 

Yesterday was my son Sean's 20th birthday (he's the one in the middle of the photo above, the little brother). I'm using it as an excuse to dip back into my Father Knows Nothing archives to repost a few of my favorite stories. This is another one that didn't make it into the final version of the book, but beautifully sums up the relationship between Sean and his brothers when he was very young...

Being the little brother to two older brothers is a tough gig. If the little brother has a big taunting mouth, it’s much much worse. Every day becomes a life and death struggle.

Meet my youngest son Sean: He’s cute. He’s smart. And he’s lucky he’s alive. Sean figured out at a very young age that no matter what he said or did, his brothers were never going to like him, or treat him well. So, instead of trying to win their favor, he went the other direction. Without succumbing to emotion or histrionics, he pursued his life goal with dogged determination: To make his brothers as miserable as possible. On purpose.  As punishment for not liking him. 

I transcribed the following conversations before he even went into kindergarten.

Conversation #1

Sean: Johnny, will you play with me?
Johnny: Get away from me Sean. 
Sean: It’s OK, Johnny. You don’t have to play with me. I’m going up to your room to kill your favorite toy.
Johnny: DAAAAAAAD!

Conversation #2

Sean: Johnny, will you play with me?
Johnny: Get away from me Sean.
Sean: Your head is purple and when your head is purple you have to play with me forever. It’s a rule.
Johnny: That’s not a rule, and my head is not purple.
Sean: Yes it is.
Johnny: NO IT’S NOT PURPLE! YOU CAN’T MAKE RULES LIKE THAT!

If you were the adult walking into the room during this confrontation, who would you have sided with, the 4-year old seemingly talking nonsense, or the nine year old who is having a meltdown about the nonsense?  Sean can smell their weaknesses like a dog can smell fear. For instance, he quickly recognized that Tommy had some quirky pet peeves, so he didn’t waste time with anything less effective. He went right for the throat. It usually went a little bit like this: 

Sean: Tommy, will you play with me?
Tommy: Go away Sean.
Sean: You want my pickle?
Tommy: I hate pickles. Get that away from me.
Sean: Why? It’s only a pickle. See. Here it is, Tommy. A pickle. Look, it’s coming right at you. Can you smell it? 
Tommy: AAAAAARGH! GET THAT AWAY FROM ME!!!!

 

Again—picture yourself breaking up this fight. Who is being unreasonable? The 11 year old boy screaming about a harmless pickle or the emotionless little 4-year-old innocently holding a pickle in the air? If you didn’t recognize the evil genius, you would side with the little guy every time.

It’s passive aggressive brilliance.  And it’s just the tip of the iceberg. Every day as Tommy and Johnny were getting ready to walk out the door, Sean rushed up to give them a “big hug.” Did he do this because he loved his brothers? No, of course not. He did it because they hated him.  After they ran screaming out of the house, Sean turned around and smiled.

I must admit, I admired his mental toughness. They started this fight by rejecting his friendly overtures to play, and instead of rolling over and crying, he was fighting back.  One day after Tommy and Johnny went running out of the house screaming, he came over to me and sat on my lap. He had a big smile on his face.

“We’re a team, Dad,” he said.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“We’re a team, because Tommy & Johnny hate both of us,” he said. 

“They don’t hate us,” I argued half-heartedly. “They really love us.”

“OK, Dad,” he said. Then, almost as afterthought, he added, “I have an idea for dinner tonight.”

“What?”

“Why don’t you do some of your cartoon voices for me?”

“Your brothers hate those voices,” I reminded him.  I could have added that the mere threat of doing my cartoon voices was enough to get them to do their homework, their chores, and anything else I asked, but of course, he knew that. 

                “They do?” he answered innocently, before flashing me that evil grin.

Suspect

 

Today is the official release date of Scott Turow's newest novel, Suspect.

He recently appeared on Minutia Men Celebrity Interview, and talked about that book. Reposting a link today in case you are interested in learning more about it.

Eckhartz Everyday

*Today is Eckhartz Press author Tim Clue's birthday (Patty & the Stump). Happy birthday Tim!

 *On this day in 2014, Chuck Quinzio appeared on Rick Kogan's show on WGN radio to discuss his Eckhartz Press book Life Behind the Camera. You can listen to the interview here.

*On this day in 2016, Bobby Skafish (We Have Company) appeared on WGN Radio with Roe Conn and Anna Devlantas. That interview is here.

Studio Walls

Every week I send my Minutia Men Co-Host Dave Stern a list from our audio archives for this week's Studio Walls feature. These are the possibilities for this week. Which one will he choose?

September 18, 1965—I Dream of Jeannie debuts. Ron Santo was a big fan of that show, and we have  great old WGN Radio promo audio/about Jeannie.

September 19, 2010—Boardwalk Empire debuts. We interviewed the scary Cuban hit man from that show, actor Paul Calderone interview. (Listen to that interview here)

 September 19, 2012—Tell me if this sounds familiar. Ten years ago the Cubs were terrible. Tom Latourette and I wrote a song about it called We Might Lose 100 Games (Audio)

September 19—Adam West birthday—WGN-TV's Mike Toomey did an incredible impersonation of the original Batman a few years ago. (Listen to his entire interview here)  

·         September 20--Comedian Tim Clue's birthday. He was kind enough to our show a few years ago and we had a great time talking to him. (Full interview here)

·         September 20, 2009—I was interviewed on WGN about a fake birth announcement Dave and I took out in the Chicago Tribune, welcoming the birth of Waitle Nex Yeare (audio)

·         September 21--Bill Kurtis' birthday. We had the birthday boy on the show a few years ago. (Listen to full interview here): 

·         September 22, 1994—Friends debuts. I wrote a song about that show from the perspective of their parents. It was a big hit for Landecker & the Legends (“Parents ofFriends” AUDIO) 

·         September 23, 1977: The classic album Aja was released by Stealy Dan. We had the engineer of that record, Bill Schnee, on the show and he told us all about working with those guys. (Entire interview is here)

·         September 23, 1986: Matlock debuts. We had voice actor Richard Epcar on our show as a guest, and it turns out that is big break came when he got a part on Matlock. (Epcar interview here)

·         September 24--Eric Soderholm's birthday. The ex-White Sox slugger was one of our first guests on Minutia Men, now more than five years ago. (Listen to it here)

·         September 24, 1970—Patridge Family debuts. One of the breakout stars of that show was little Danny Bonaduce. Dave and I were lucky enough to talk to Danny on our podcast. (Here's the full interview)  

Happy Birthday Sean Kaempfer

 

Today is my youngest son Sean's 20th birthday. All this week I'll be dipping into the Father Knows Nothing archives to highlight some of my favorite Sean moments. Needless to say, he is not in favor of this tribute. This column below was priceless. I can't remember why it didn't make the final cut of my book, but I think you'll enjoy it. It's from 2007.

I was driving my son Sean to pre-school, when he casually dropped this little nugget.

“Dad,” he asked, “What do you call it when one person loves someone, but the other person doesn’t love them back?”

I looked in the rear view mirror to see the expression on his face. He really looked concerned.

“There isn’t really a word for it,” I said. “Why? Do you love someone?”

“No,” he said. “But someone loves me.”

I was intrigued. I knew the conversation would have ended right then and there if I didn’t proceed with caution. If I joked with him at all, I wouldn’t get another morsel. I gingerly continued my line of questioning.

“Who loves you?” I asked.

“Jennifer,” he said.

“How do you know she loves you?”

He sighed, and looked out the window. “She always follows me around,” he said.

“But you do that to your brothers,” I pointed out.

“She always wants to do stuff for me,” he said. His tone of voice was saying “Geez, Dad, you just don’t understand women, do you?”

“But you like to do stuff for your brothers,” I said. “Maybe she just loves you like a brother.”

“Trust me, Dad. This is different. She doesn’t love me. She loves me.”

I wish I could have taken a picture of that expression on his face. He was a (5-year-old) man with girl troubles, and he didn’t know what to do.

“You mean like a girlfriend loves you?”

“Uh huh.”

We drove in silence for a few moments, and I struggled not to laugh or smile.

“Why does she love you so much?” I asked.

“Because I’m cute,” he said.

I couldn’t be the serious confidante for one second longer. The real me popped right out.

“Did you ever think about asking her to marry you?” I asked.

“DAAAAAD! I’m way too young.”

“What’s old enough to get married?”

“You have to be old. Like you and mom.”

I shook off that little shot to the gut, and queried on. “But why don’t you love her back?”

He didn’t say anything for a few moments while he pondered that question. He sighed once more.  “I need my space,” he said.

When we arrived at preschool about two minutes later, Jennifer was the first person we saw. Her whole face lit up when she spotted Sean. She started waving frantically.

“Hi Sean!” she screamed.

He looked at me and rolled his eyes.