Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Suburban Man: Mother's Day Recital



By Rick Kaempfer






Last week I read a great Mother's Day post from a fellow blogger at NWI Parent about Mother's Day. It was about what mothers really want for mother's day.

A few days after I read that piece, my wife Bridget took a few days off work. She didn't go anywhere special, didn't do anything special, just took the time to spend with the boys. I watched how much she loved the little routines that she misses when she goes to work--getting the boys ready for school, making lunches, doing homework, and hearing all about their days. Honestly, she didn't lose that smile on her face for three days in row.

Well last weekend was Mother's Day, and after reading the blog post and observing the way Bridget enjoyed the little things around the house, the boys and I decided to go a different route with her Mother's Day present. We didn't buy her a gift, and the boys didn't make her a gift. Instead, they gave her something she misses every day.

A musical performance.

I've heard the boys perform these songs a million times because they practice after school, but Bridget does not. So, they staged a Mother's Day recital for her. I was not allowed to attend--this was strictly for their mom.

Tommy even created an invitation.


























Our extrovert, Sean, was the Master of Ceremonies. He introduced the performers before each song. He also took Bridget's breakfast order, and submitted it to the chef in the kitchen (me).

Of course I heard the whole show while I was making breakfast. I laughed at Sean's hilarious introductions ("Ladies and gentlemen..um..I mean lady...please welcome the the piano playing Johnny playing the piano"), and I cringed at a few of their musical gaffes because I had previously heard each of them perform those songs perfectly in the past, but I could also hear the smile in Bridget's appreciative voice from around the corner.

It was exactly what she wanted for Mother's Day.

And we got to see her beautiful smile for another whole day.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Monday Musings


Every Monday stop by for jokes, links to stories you might have missed, amusing photos and video, and more. Contributions and suggestions are welcome and encouraged. Click on the "Email Me" link on the right to contribute.




Joke of the Week: Contributed by "E"--John McCain jokes by David Letterman

But seriously how about that John McCain? John McCain looks like a guy whose head you can barely see over the steering wheel. ...

John McCain looks like the guy who thinks the nurses are stealing his stuff. 'Dad, why would they take your socks? It doesn't make sense.'"

How about that John McCain, huh? John McCain looks like the kind of guy who brags that his new denture adhesive allows him to eat corn on the cob.

He looks like a guy who parked his RV overnight at Wal-Mart.

How about John McCain? He looks like a guy at a restaurant that says I'm leaving 10%, that's good enough.

John McCain, looks like the guy who goes to the curb for the paper and locks himself outside of the house.

John McCain ... He looks like the guy that walks up to the mound to settle down a young pitcher.

John McCain looks like the guy who picks up his TV remote when the phone rings.

I like that John McCain. He looks like a guy who gets tickets for mowing under the influence.

He looks like a guy with a collection of movies he bought at the car wash.

He looks like a guy on the beach with a metal detector.

He looks like the guy who is still confused by the phone answering machine: 'Hello, is that - hello, is that you? Larry, Larry, hello?'

He looks like the guy who calls his grandson when he screws up the remote: 'Well, now all the shows are in Spanish. What am I going to do, hello?'

How about that John McCain? He looks like the guy at the movies whose wife has to repeat everything.

He looks like the guy who has to always be told something is on his chin.

He looks like a guy who still has a rotary phone. He looks like a guy who's backed over his own mailbox.

He looks like a guy whose sweater is always mis-buttoned.

He looks like the guy who always tells you he's 72 years young.

He looks like the guy who's bragged that oatmeal has lowered his cholesterol.

Hey, how about this John McCain, huh? Whoa, my gosh –- doesn't he look like the old guy at the barber shop?

He looks kind of like a Wal-Mart greeter, John McCain.

He kind of looks like the neighbor who says, 'Oh, that dead tree is on your property,' one of those guys.

He's the guy who is always early for the early bird special, that's what he looks like.

He looks like a mall walker, ladies and gentlemen.

He looks like the guy at the supermarket who is confused by the automatic doors.

He looks like the uncle who pretends to remove his thumb.

I like John McCain. He looks like an old guy in a coffee shop who's still complaining about the designated hitter.

He looks like the guy who asks the driver if he's on the right bus.

He looks like the guy who's always saying, 'What was that? Nothing? That's what I thought.'




Stories you might have missed



1. Oprah and Barbara discuss sleeping with married men
(I can see the ad now..."Barack Obama endorses adultery.")

2. Suburban Chicago Man plans his beer can funeral
(This guy is obviously insane. His favorite beer is Pabst Blue Ribbon.)

3. Yankees-Red Sox fued ends in murder
(And you thought the Cubs-White Sox rivalry was intense.)

4. Striped Icebergs
(This isn't a joke...these photos are awesome)

5. A-Rod's wife says he fainted during birth
(See guys? We're much manlier than A-Rod. Don't forget to tell your wife.)




Video of the week: Contributed by "S". "Coolest Bowling Trick Ever"






Picture of the Week: Contributed by "D". He calls it "Only in America."














Reader Response



Regarding "Suburban Man: Mother's Day Rap"

"That is priceless! I think your boys have a future in the music biz. Watch out Eminem!"
--P

"What’s cuter than a giggling, grunting baby? Nothin’."
--M







253 days until we get a new president.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Chicago Radio Spotlight: Ron Britain

Ron Britain was one of Chicago's most popular personalities. He worked up and down the AM and FM dial, most famously for Super-CFL in the 1960s.

(Photo by Kelly Mackey)



COMPLETE RADIO-OGRAHPY


WHAS-Louisville 1949
WKLO-TV Louisville 1953
WINN-Louisville 1954
WKAY-Bowling Green 1954
WIEL-Elizabethtown 1954
WSAZ-TV Huntington 1956
WFMT-TV Ft. Monmouth NJ 1957
WLBS-Monmouth NJ 1957
WKAZ-TV-Charlestown 1959
WSAI-Cincinnati 1960
WHK-Cleveland 1964
WCFL-Chicago 1965
WIND-Chicago 1970
KCMO-Kansas City 1974
WLS-FM Chicago 1974
WKRC-Cincinnati 1976
WCFL-Chicago 1978
Satellite Music Network-Chicago 1980
WJMK-Chicago 1984
WTMX-Chicago 1992-1994
WRLL-Chicago 2002-2003


Rick: Your real name isn't Britain. How did you end picking that name or did someone pick it for you?

Ron: I didn't use that name when I first started in radio. I was only 14 years old when I hosted a show in Louisville, a teen show called "High Varieties." This was during a different era in radio. It was one of those old time radio shows performed in a huge studio with a script and a full orchestra, and I went by my real name, which is Ron Magel.

It wasn't until I got my first big break in Cincinnati that someone suggested I change my name. Right after I was hired, I was having breakfast with the Program Director Jim Lightfoot, and he asked what I was going to call myself. I said "How about Ron Magel?" He thought it sounded a little too ethnic, and wanted something more showbizy. We started brainstorming possible names, and he asked me to tell him a little more about myself.

Well, I told him that everyone liked to kid me about so being such an Anglophile. You have to remember, this was before the British Invasion. It seemed a little unusual at the time. I drove a Jaguar, which I still do by the way, and I dressed like an Englishman. He said, well let's go with "Britain," like the country, and from that point on it was my name. The name took off. In Cincinnati, I leased a supper club that seated like 10000 people, and I had a big banner with the Union Jack British flag, and I did record hops, and it was a huge hit. At one point in Cincinnati I had 72% of the listening audience.

I remember one time, when I was doing morning drive in Chicago at WIND, I flew into town from Louisville, and I saw a whole fleet of trucks, one after the other, with huge British flags on the side and my name, Ron Britain written in the middle of it. That was really something.

Rick: You were also known as King Bee. Where did that come from?

Ron: The King Bee thing started in Cincinnati. I had all these teen clubs, and I couldn't stand it when the kids called me Mr. Britain and they didn't feel comfortable calling me Ron, so they started calling me King Bee. I liked it, and started using it myself.

Rick: You arrived in Chicago with a big splash in 1965 at WCFL. That had to be an exciting time. Thanks to you and a few other talented jocks at WCFL, your radio station really was on the cutting edge, wasn't it?

Ron: It really was. It was really exciting. I had been a big fish in a small pond in Cincinnati, but I really wanted to go to New York. I had a few interviews in New York, and I told them how hot I was in Cincinnati. I had a great audience, and a hit record ("Are we going to wail Tulu"), and they said "That's great. You should stay in Cincinnati."

Well, I had a brother in law who worked in radio in Cleveland, and I called him up, because I figured that if I made it Cleveland, they'd take me in New York. I did make it there, but New York didn't call. Chicago did.

So I flew up to Chicago and met with the folks at WCFL. I thought, you know what? This is a great radio town. Maybe this is where I should go. Ken Draper, the guy who hired me, and Jim Runyan drove me into the city. All these lights were lit along Michigan Avenue, and they told me that they decorated the city just for me. I took the job, but I was scared to death.

I had never worked at a place that had so much talent. It was just unbelievable—I was intimidated by it. They had guys I really respected like Jim Runyan and Joel Sebastian. I thought, how I can work alongside great talent like this? I was so scared when I went on the air the first time—I didn't know what to do. I thought what I had been doing before wasn’t good enough. My first night on the air, I was using squeaky toys, and I got a note from Ken Draper. The note said "We hired Ron Britain not Pinky Lee." Of course, he was right.

I had a long chat with Joel Sebastian about it, and he said, "Play me a tape of what you used to do." So I played him this tape of a quick-draw old-western bit. Two gunslingers would meet and one would say, "This town ain't big enough for the both of us. On, the count of three, draw. 1, 2, 3..." After that I played sound effect records of an entire war going on, bombs, machine guns, explosions, for like three and a half minutes, followed by a second of silence. Then the guy would say-- 'ha ha you missed'.

Joel listened to the tape, and asked me why I didn't continue to do that sort of thing. Getting that advice from someone like Joel Sebastian really gave me the confidence I needed. So, I started out with a few sound effects, fanfare, and crowd noise, and I went into the hallway where people used to watch the show, and recorded those people applauding, and saying yeas, and that sort of thing. After that, I was off and running.

(Rick's note: Thanks to Rick Johnson who sent me these awesome classic WCFL jingles from this era. They don't make 'em like this anymore... WCFL 1, WCFL 2, and WCFL Ron Britain)


Rick: Your approach to doing a radio show was completely radical. Your show was like Phil Spector's Wall-of-Sound. All these sounds and noises were coming at you fast and furious and you reacted to it...all over the intro of a record. I haven't heard anything like it before or since... it was almost like radio scat singing. Take us behind the scenes and explain how that all worked.


Ron: I used to think that it would be great to have three or four things going on at the same time, and it just went from there. It was a combination of knowing what was coming, and my engineer Al Urbanski just throwing stuff at me. I had the bits prepared, and Al would have a general idea what was coming, but he was given the freedom to add whatever he wanted.

Rick: I worked with Al at WJMK. He was an absolute sweetheart of a man.

(Rick's note: I've previously written about my memories of Al here)


Ron: Yes, he was. He was a dear, dear friend. I still can't believe he's gone.

Rick: Was he your only engineer?


Ron: Most of the time. There were others, but Al was the one I really clicked with. On days when Al was there, I'd ask him for something, say—Jungle sound effects—and he would know what was coming. I had a character named Taboo and his faithful companion Harold, who only said one word—"Yeah." Well, Al knew when I was talking to Harold to hit the "Yeah", and Al knew that Taboo was eventually going to get attacked, and he had the freedom to do it whenever he wanted, so I could react to it.

Al knew what I was doing, and played along. I didn't like things that were too set up and scripted, like another guy on WCFL at the time, Jerry G. Bishop. I thought that approach was a little too concocted. I wanted it more free form.

But on days Al wasn't there, some of the other guys thought that it was funny to just load up and fire stuff off willy nilly... and it wasn't as good. For instance, I had a burp cart that should have been used discreetly, and the guy who subbed for Al used it too much. With Al, Some things were set up and some weren't, and it was fun to feed off those things because it was like another person on the air with me. We would laugh until our sides hurt. One critic said it sounded like I was going on the air just to entertain myself. He meant it as a slam, but he was right. I thought everyone else was in on it, and the people that got it, got it. It was just a wonderful thing.

Rick: The 60s was also an incredible time for rock and roll music. You created a show called Ron Britain's Subterranean Circus, which was really cutting edge at the time. What was the inspiration for that show?

Ron: I went over to Mercury Records in London in 1966, and they wanted me to produce a follow up to the hit song Winchester Cathedral. When I was over there, I was told about this guy who was the next great thing. I met him and we hung out, and I knew he was selling records, but even though he was an American, he wasn't getting played on the radio in our country. His name was Jimi Hendrix.

Anyway, when I came back, I asked CFL to let me play a few songs that were selling but weren't getting airplay, like Hendrix, and to be honest with you, I think they only let me do it because they figured if they gave me that show, they wouldn't have to give me a raise. And they were right.

It aired on Sunday's, and we recorded it in this little production studio. Al would be on one side of the glass, and there was a record turner in there with him (which was still the union requirement), and I was on the other side. Well, the first week we did it, it didn't sound right. It sounded like I was making fun of the music by playing all of my sound effects, and I didn't want to do that because I loved the music so much.

So, the next week I used Ravi Shankar music bed as the backdrop, and that sounded much better. It fit the tone of the show. I just talked about the music, and why I loved it. On the other hand, Al didn't have anything to do except play the Shankar cart. So he would try to do things to make me laugh. Sometimes it worked. People that listened to the show would hear me giggle or laugh and they thought I was high—even though I wasn't.

Rick: You had everyone on that show. Which guests do you remember most fondly or least fondly?

Ron: Well, we had Zappa (photo) on the show once, and I was scared to death of him, but he turned out to be the nicest guy in the world. Most of the people we had on were really nice people. The only people I didn't get tuned into were Van Morrison—I don't know what planet he was from, and Doug Engle from Iron Butterfly. I don't know if he was stupid, or if he was just pretending to be, but he and I didn't click at all. The others were all great—Blood Sweat and Tears was fabulous. Janis Joplin was great. The guys in the band Chicago used to listen to me when they were practicing on Rush Street. It was a wild time.

Rick: And the British Invasion guys?

Ron: I did a few shows with the Beatles, and hung out with them a few times. I introduced them on stage. After the show, I was looking for something of theirs to sell—remember they were selling everything they touched in those days—even the sheets they slept on, so I went on stage and thanked the audience for coming out...and I saw that Ringo had left his drumsticks on the stage. I put them in my pocket and gave them away on the air the next night.

Another time I was with the Beatles at a press conference and they were getting all the same stupid questions, and I could tell they were completely bored, so I took out a sketch pad, and drew a picture for John. Somebody took a picture of us laughing...and then Paul took a look to see what John was laughing about, and someone snapped another picture. Then there was a picture with George, and then finally Ringo. That was the pecking order of those guys; John, Paul, George, and Ringo, and there were pictures of me with all four of them. I was happy about that because I was never the kind of guy who could ask for my picture to be taken with celebrities, because it just didn't feel right. So, I don't have pictures of myself with very many of these great rock stars, but I do have those pictures with the Beatles.

Hanging out with them was a strange experience. When you were with them, it was like being in prison. They had a whole floor in the hotel, and security was everywhere. One time I talked to Ringo for about three hours about pirate radio in England, which we both thought was very cool. I also told him that I called everybody "Tulu," and asked if he would say "Hi Tulu Baby" on tape for me. He wouldn't do it because he said it was "too commercial." So I asked John, and he said "Sure." Well after John agreed, they all did, and they went in their usual pecking order; John, Paul, George, and then Ringo agreed too.

Rick: You also interviewed the Rolling Stones. I heard that you wouldn't let Mick Jagger drive your Jaguar. Is that a true story?

Ron: Yes it is. My wife and I drove up to Montreal to get some driving lights on the Jag, because they weren't selling them here in this country at the time. Anyway, around 3 am we stopped at a Howard Johnson's and the Stones were there, eating breakfast. I had done a show with them before, so they knew me and invited us to eat breakfast with them, which we did. Anyway, after breakfast they came out to check out my car, and Mick really wanted to drive it. I said no way.

Rick: Is it because they were bad boys?


Ron: No, not really. Nobody drives my Jag. I mean, they did have this bad boy image and I must admit, I didn't like them the first time I interviewed them. Mick was playing with a Slinky the whole time, and it was a rough interview. But as I got to know them better when I did all these concerts with them, I really got to like them. Especially Mick.

Rick: You are one of the most influential rock jocks in radio history. Your name comes up all the time when I'm interviewing jocks about their influences. My radio hero, John Records Landecker, considers you the greatest jock of all time. Who are some of your radio influences, and who do you admire of the jocks that have followed you?

Ron:
A guy named Bob Puhl in New Orleans was a guy I really admired. He used these Spike Jones drop ins and things, and he was really funny. I'm sure there were others, but he was the big radio guy. I was probably just as influenced by the Marx brothers though. They were always my favorite. As for the guys who have followed me, there are a lot of great ones, including John Landecker.

Rick: Of course, you've worked at many other stations on the Chicago radio dial, including WIND, WLS, WJMK, WTMX, and WRLL. Some of the stories of how you left those stations are still being discussed in town. Let's go over a few of them. Talk about the day you quit WJMK.

Ron: Oh boy. Well, about a year before I quit WJMK, I went up to Harvey Pearlman, the GM, and asked for more money because they had taken a big promotional job away from me, and I needed to make that up somehow. Harvey said, "If you can find somebody else to pay you that kind of money, by all means, take it."

He didn't think I would, and it took me a year to do it, but I did. Nobody knew I was leaving except for John Patton at WTMX. I wanted to get the word out, so I decided to do it live on the air. The plan was to record the last part of the show saying where I was going on the dial, and then hopping in a limo, and finishing the show on the other radio station—which was WTMX.

The only wrinkle was that Harvey Pearlman, who usually left at 4:00 in the afternoon, was still there at 5:30. I decided to turn the microphone on while I played the recorded bit, and then if he stormed into the studio and started swearing and trying to hit me over the head with his vodka bottle, it would all go on the air.

He didn't go in there, but I did go over to WTMX. Unfortunately, it turned out to be the wrong station for me. I should have gone to a station that was playing the same kind of music. The music wasn't quite right for my fans that had been with me all those years.

Rick: Harvey never forgave you for that. I remember a WJMK Christmas party...my first one there, it must have been 1993 or so. You showed up to make amends with him, and he had to be physically restrained from going after you. Do you remember that night?


Ron: (Laughs out loud, long, and hard) Yeah, I remember that. I'm a manic depressive and I was in a manic moment, and I just wanted to say Happy Holidays to Harvey. So I hopped in a cab, and well...you saw it. You know, I always liked him in a Don Rickles sort of way, and I know he liked me, and that's probably why he was so upset by that move. But he told me to take it if I got that money from someone else...

(Rick's note: I've previously written about a few of my encounters with Harvey Pearlman here, and here.)


Rick: Your last turn on the radio dial was at Real Oldies WRLL, which was at a dial position I didn't even know existed, 1690 AM. When you quit there, you did it very publicly, releasing your resignation letter to the press. How did all of that go down there?

Ron: John Gehron, who was running the show at Clear Channel in Chicago, was a guy I always wanted to work with, but it turned out that I didn't really deal with him. Tommy Edwards was the PD, and Tommy wanted to control things. The thing that hacked me off was that I wanted to show everyone that you could a funny show without being dirty, and I never really got that chance. Because I was recording the show and sending it in hours before it aired, they had time to listen to it all, and edit out whatever they didn't like.

One of the first things I did was a Halloween party bit, and when I opened the door to the party, people were dressed up like the scary radio managers I had worked for, like Harvey Pearlman. They cut that out. I told them when I took that job that I just wanted to do my thing, and when they wouldn't let me do it, it was time for me to go.

Rick: One last question. I know you're a little disenchanted with the current state of radio—as I am. What do you think that radio needs to do to get its act together?

Ron: I don't like to say this, because I absolutely love radio, I really do. But it's run by the accountants these days, and that's why it has lost its personality. The kind of radio I loved, that's like Vaudeville, man. I think it's all over.

Radio is a personal thing and they took all of the personal out of it. I could feel those listeners were right there with me all those years. Radio isn't connecting with them anymore. Clear Channel owns like 10 stations here in Louisville, and they're all in one building. All the call letters are up on the wall, but there's nobody inside.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Media Notebook (May 8)





Collected and Edited by Rick Kaempfer





Highlights and links to the big stories in the news this week about the media. This column appears twice a week at MEDIA NOTEBOOK



Weather Channel in Sex Storm
(The Smoking Gun) As The Weather Channel's owner negotiates a multibillion-dollar sale of the cable outlet, the network's lawyers are angling to keep secret the details of a blistering arbitration ruling in favor of a former anchorwoman who charges that she was subjected to unrelenting sexual harassment by her male co-anchor, who was "romantically obsessed" with her and frequently made crude remarks like, "Will you lick my swizzle stick?" Hillary Andrews, 38, contends that the cable network's brass turned a blind eye to the harassment because her co-anchor, Bob Stokes, was popular with viewers and scored high ratings.


Top Shows Hit Ratings Lows
(USA Today) Gary Levin writes: "Spring has sprung leaks in big-network lineups. Ratings shortfalls for some top series have sparked Hollywood hand-wringing on the eve of next week's fall schedule announcements. Such shows as ER, CSI: Miami, My Name Is Earl, The Simpsons and Supernatural hit all-time lows in recent weeks, and others — including Grey's Anatomy and Cold Case— are down sharply from last spring. Some observers blame the writers' strike, which forced a three-month gap in most scripted series and led viewers to stray. Most series have trickled back but without the usual marketing fanfare."


CLICK HERE



NAB to FCC: Don't retreat on media ownership rules
(Radio Online) In a 32-page filing on Tuesday with the FCC, NAB opposed efforts to overturn the loosening of the broadcast/newspaper cross-ownership ban, an action the trade group calls a "minor reform." In the filing, NAB said there is no reason for the Commission to retreat from its recent modest revisions to the "outmoded" ban, which had not been reformed since its adoption in 1975. "This order very modestly reformed the complete ban on newspaper/broadcast cross-ownership and made no changes to the television duopoly and local radio ownership rules. NAB urges the Commission to deny this petition," read the filing. "Claims in the petition that the 'exceptions' could 'swallow' the revised rule and somehow harm the public interest are unmeritorious."


CBS Radio President Dan Mason: Radio is not dead
(Radio Online) CBS Radio President/CEO Dan Mason kicked off a presentation of its new Media Player in New York Monday to convince advertisers that reports of radio's demise are unfounded. He claimed that over $1 billion in ad dollars have been spent flaunting the iPod and satellite radio -- eventually leading to the death of broadcast radio. "That's a myth. Like when you were told the eight-track tapes, cassettes and the CD would sign radio's death warrant. To say that an iPod or satellite radio, with little or no human connection will ever replace radio is absurd," proclaimed Mason. He also said that CBS Radio intented to make use of digital distribution with its previously announced media player in a deal with AOL Radio.





CLICK HERE




Erica walks out on Eddie & Jobo
(Chicago Tribune) Phil Rosenthal writes: "As the studio door shut behind her, Erica Cobb's first thought wasn't that she might be risking her relationship with WBBM-FM 96.3 on-air partners Ed Volkman and Joe Bohannon by walking out in the middle of Tuesday's show after protesting Volkman's impersonation of Rev. Jeremiah Wright. 'I just thought, 'I can't believe I cried on the air,'" Cobb said by phone a few hours later. 'I was more angry at myself for getting that upset, but I needed to take a timeout and kind of sit back.' The walkout lasted only a half hour or so. By then, Eddie and Jobo had moved on to another topic, and Cobb had regained her composure. 'I know people would really like to believe that there was this huge argument and we tried to kill each other,' Cobb said. 'I don't want to throw anybody under the bus, because Eddie and Jobo are great guys. Things like this are few and far between. … I just didn't want to say something out of anger or frustration that would have been more detrimental. Sometimes it's better to say nothing than to say something you don't really mean.'"



The large salaries – and bonuses – going to the brass aren’t sitting well with the hired help

(Radio Info) Tom Taylor sums it up beautifully..."Some CBS staffers who read about Leslie Moonves’ lavish 2007 compensation – up 30%, to $36.8 million – aren’t too thrilled given the lack of raises at the station level. Clear Channel folks read in T-R-I and other places about the fact that Mark Mays and Randall Mays both hit their OIBDAN bonuses last year, and that John Hogan hit a subjective goal – and they aren’t too tickled. That’s in a company that’s handing out either minimal raises or no raises to the troops, under a zero-expense-growth mandate. Sometimes it’s the small stuff that really rubs it in, like the sports tickets that Moonves and Sumner Redstone enjoyed, or the personal use of the company Gulfstream for the Mays family (due to what they call “security concerns”) while CC staffers sit at home with a freeze. Then there’s Citadel’s Farid Suleman, who admittedly made much less dough in 2007 – a mere $11,215,925, down from nearly $18 million – but who got the company to pay his taxes, in what Wall Streeters call a “gross-up.” And we haven’t mentioned Radio One’s Alfred Liggins, who’s taking $5.8 million in regular bonus and “signing bonus” as a makeup for being underpaid lately. That’s a dire condition the board apparently just discovered, and it comes as the company’s stock has drifted dangerously below $1 (92 cents on Friday) and it was essentially forced into selling is Los Angeles FM. All that adds up – and it’s not very motivational."


Turning Adam Carolla into a radio star proves very tricky for CBS

(Wall Street Journal) Sarah McBride writes: "Two weeks before Christmas, radio host Adam Carolla woke before dawn and called in sick. Jack Silver, program director of Mr. Carolla's popular morning show, didn't buy it. 'The dude's not sick,' Mr. Silver recalls thinking. Mr. Carolla was sick -- sick of his sidekick. Danny Bonaduce, the former child TV star and self-described "freak show," had been brought on board early last year to juice up the act. Thanks partly to Mr. Bonaduce, the show's ratings were rising. But Mr. Carolla had had enough of the frenetic Mr. Bonaduce: his interruptions; his over-the-top anecdotes; his suggestions, which included climbing into a tub of live snakes. If Mr. Bonaduce didn't go, Mr. Carolla would. 'I just decided the show wasn't right,' says Mr. Carolla, a tall and lanky 43-year-old. If he got fired, 'so be it.' Mr. Bonaduce says he thought he was adding 'a quick wit, a reasonable knowledge of current events, a good sense of humor' to the show. The Carolla-Bonaduce standoff is one front in what is perhaps the $21-billion industry's biggest challenge: developing long-term radio franchises."


CLICK HERE



Bob Schieffer could bail out CBS again
(Marketwatch) Jon Friedman writes: "A few years ago, CBS was desperate to find a replacement for Dan Rather, who was forced out after the network publicly apologized for a disastrous segment about President Bush's National Guard record. CBS needed to install a stopgap who could keep the ratings intact, reassure advertisers and calm colleagues. Bob Schieffer, the optimistic face of "Face the Nation" and a respected CBS veteran, all but rode into the breach atop a white horse. He not only restored order, but also managed to do what seemed nearly impossible at the time: increase the size of the network's evening-news audience. Golly, what do you know? CBS is again in a jam at 6:30 p.m. Schieffer could work his magic once again if Couric decides to leave the evening-news anchor position."

Chuck Swirsky returning to Chicago Radio
(Chicago Sun Times) Robert Feder writes (2nd item): "A hearty welcome back to Chuck Swirsky, one of Chicago radio's all-time characters, who's returning to become the radio voice of Bulls basketball. He'll team with analyst Bill Wennington in the broadcast booth for ESPN sports/talk WMVP-AM (1000). 'The Swirsk' spent 15 years as a Chicago radio sportscaster and sports talk show host before moving to Detroit in 1994. Since 1998, he has been the voice of the Toronto Raptors."


An interview with Steve Scott
(Chicago Radio Spotlight) Last weekend I spoke with former WLS News Director Steve Scott about his long and illustrious news career here in Chicago, and his current gig as the afternoon news anchor at WCBS in New York. Coming this weekend, an interview with broadcasting legend, King Bee Ron Britain.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Suburban Man: Mother's Day Rap

When I was still working on the radio, my boys provided a constant stream of material. Every year on Mother's Day, we would go into the studio and produce an audio present for Bridget.

This one was probably my favorite Mother's Day present for Bridget. One long-time fan/listener of the show said it was her favorite bit we did in the ten years of the John Landecker Show on WJMK. It's a rap song starring all three boys. Tommy was seven. Johnny was five. Sean was nine months old. All three can be heard on this recording. Thank you to Vince Argento for his production magic (and artwork).

A few words of explanation: The words Johnny says in the song ("Allerticott" and "Baga") are Johnny's made up words--inside family jokes. He said them in fits of anger when a real insult didn't come to him (allerticott) and for comedy purposes when a real punchline didn't come to him (baga), usually during knock knock jokes.

Click on this link to listen to the song: Mother's Day Rap

It's short, less than a minute long.

Monday, May 05, 2008

Monday Musings


Every Monday stop by for jokes, links to stories you might have missed, amusing photos and video, and more. Contributions and suggestions are welcome and encouraged. Click on the "Email Me" link on the right to contribute.



Joke of the Week: In honor of Mother's Day, "P" sent me this list. Shame on you "P".


Yo Mama's so stupid she thought Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company

Yo Mama's so stupid I asked her to buy me a pare of sneakers and she came back with 2 candy bars.

Yo Mama's so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.

Yo Mama's so stupid when I said drinks are on the house she went and fetched a ladder.

Yo Mama's so stupid that she got run over by a parked car.

Yo Mama's so stupid that when she goes to a movie theatre and saw under 18 not admitted, she went home and got 17 of her friends.

Yo Mama's so stupid she stayed in the grocery store for one day looking at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate.

Yo Mama's so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund

Yo Mama's so stupid she tried to kill herself by jumping out of the basement window

Yo Mama's so stupid that when the computer says press any key to continue, she looks for the any key




Stories you might have missed



1. Man asks court to change his name to 'In God We Trust'

(How would you alphabetize that? Under "I" or "T"?)

2. Top Ten Outrageous Comments by John McCain's spiritual advisors
(And this doesn't include what McCain himself called his wife.)


3. Top Ten Surprising Facts about Obama

(My favorite is: When I tell my kids to clean their room, I finish with, “I’m Barack Obama and I approved this message.”)

4. Drinking Dampens Ability to Feel Fear
(Thanks to "B" for sending me this link, with the accompanying observation: "In related news, smoking pot gives people the munchies")

5. Father of LSD dies
(Just say no to drugs, kids. He died at the tragically young age of 102.)




Video of the week: Contributed by "J". Hillary vs. the Coffee Machine







Picture of the week: Thanks to "M" for contributing this. She calls it "This will hurt."


















Reader Response


Regarding Suburban Man "That Tone of Voice"



"This is an important reminder. Thanks!"
--M

"I’m glad to know I’m not the only parent who does this, but I’m still ashamed nonetheless. I sometimes forget what it must sound like to my child when I talk to her like that. I admire your patience and will try to emulate it!"
--J

"I really enjoyed your Suburban Man. Your kids are lucky."
--R





260 days until we get a new president.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Chicago Radio Spotlight: Steve Scott


Steve Scott is the afternoon news anchor at WCBS in New York. Before going to New York in 2006, he was the news director at WLS Radio






COMPLETE RADIO-OGRAPHY

KSJS-FM/San Jose 1979 - 1983 (college station)
KRVE-FM/Los Gatos (San Jose) CA, 1981 - 1982
KLIV-AM/KARA-FM/San Jose, 1982 - 1984
KWSS-FM/San Jose, 1984 - 1986
WRXR-FM/Chicago, 1986 - 1987
WCKG-FM/Chicago, 1987 - 1993
Shadow Broadcast Services/Chicago, 1993 - 1997
WLS-AM/Chicago, 1993 - 2006
WCBS-AM/New York, 2006 - present


Rick: I know you still follow the Chicago radio scene from afar. Not much has happened here...other one of your old jobs being eliminated and one of your old stations changing it's call letters and formats. Let's start with the first one. What are your thoughts about the cuts WLS recently made in their news department--including your old job of news director?

Steve: Oh, that was a terrible day. I was shocked when I heard about the cuts…shocked, but not really surprised, I guess…if that makes any sense. Radio companies – just about all of them – are making cuts and tightening their belts. It’s a tough time. I feel badly, not only for the news people (Jennifer Keiper, Bill Cameron and David Jennings) who lost their jobs…but also for the staffers from other departments who were let go. I have a lot of friends who lost their jobs that day.

Sometimes, when you hear that a station “cut 15 people,” you have a tendency to focus more on that big number than on the individuals. But, for many of those who were let go, this is a very traumatic time in their lives. For some, it’s potentially catastrophic. Each of those people has bills to pay, rent or mortgage payments to make and a family to support. Some have already landed on their feet with new opportunities, and I pray the others will, too.

I honestly don’t think John Gallagher and Kipper McGee woke up one morning and decided, “Let’s gut the news department” or “Let’s layoff the producer whose wife just had a baby.” I really doubt it. I’m guessing they were given a set of (financial) numbers that they had to meet. Sometimes being a boss isn’t much fun, and I’m sure they took no personal joy in what happened at WLS on February 29th.

Rick: You probably heard that the GM of WLS, John Gallagher, resigned this week too.

Steve: I'm sorry to see John go. I know he was painted as a villain by some, for the recent cutbacks, but he was in a tough spot. I think John is a good guy - and, at least in my experience - a good manager. I'd work with him again. I'm happy to see him land on his feet so quickly - I think he'll do well back in Detroit.

Rick: Are you worried about the future of radio news in general?

Steve: Well, yes and no. When I first came to Chicago in 1986, most of the FM stations had at least a small news staff. Some had full newsrooms. Remember that great news team WXRT had back in the day? Wow! (Photo: Neil Parker, Marj Halperin, and Charlie Meyerson) Those days are mostly gone now. The number of stations doing news has dwindled consistently since the early- to mid-1990s. In Chicago, you can probably count the number of stations doing serious news gathering and reporting on one hand, give or take a finger. And, I think the listening public is poorer for it.

But, I do think there will always be some sort of role for radio news. The National Association of Broadcasters recently touted a survey that said something like 92% of Americans still consider radio an important part of their lives. 92%. And, I don’t think all of those people are tuning in for music. There will always be a need for local news and information. Yeah, I know the internet is everywhere. Radio will need to continue to evolve to survive. But, I think I’d rather be a radio newsperson than, say, a DJ right about now.

Rick: I know you were with WCKG back in the classic rock days (late 80s, early 90s), but have you heard that the call letters WCKG don't even exist anymore? How do you feel about that?

Steve: 105.9 in Chicago is a CBS sister station of mine, so I hope whatever the company does with that frequency is a huge success! (laughs)

I have to admit, I haven’t carried any great allegiance to the WCKG call letters with me through the years. I worked with a lot of great ones there…Tim Kelly Sabean, Mitch Michaels, Dan Michaels, Patti Haze (photo), Allan Stagg, John Howell, Stephanie Miller – wow, the list goes on! I got to report some big stories while I was at WCKG…the death of Mayor Washington, the election of Mayor Daley, the Great Loop Flood (remember when the river sprung a leak?). I enjoyed my time there, but the call didn’t stay with me when I moved on (especially since the “moving on” part was their decision, not mine.

I think I would be much more devastated if the WLS call letters went away.

Rick: You didn't just read the news when you were news director at WLS, you reported the news. I was looking over some of the stories you covered, and it's really amazing. Talk about some of the highlights, the most rewarding story, the story that gives you the most pride, and the most memorable story...


Steve: Yeah, one of the great things about being news director at a station with a relatively small staff is that you get to do a lot stuff. Of course, when you’re news director at a station with a relatively small staff, you’re also the one who gets those breaking news phone calls at 2am Sunday morning!

I always thought that I was a decent anchor…and, hopefully, a slightly better reporter. For years, I was a much better storyteller from the field than I was from the anchor desk. It’s when I got it through my thick skull that I should anchor with the same mindset I used as a reporter – and stop trying to be some freakin’ Ted Baxter sound-alike – that I got much better as an anchor.

Certainly the biggest story I ever covered was 9-11. I was on the air with Don and Roma on WLS the morning of 9/11/01 – I remember that our lead story until mid-morning that day was that Michael Jordan was plotting another comeback. Then, the world changed. WLS was part of ABC back then, and ABC News Radio asked if I could come to New York to help with their reporting from Ground Zero. Just getting there was tough – no planes were flying, trains were over-sold, buses would take too long…and, you couldn’t find a rental car anywhere. Well, almost anywhere. ABC had had a crew out on an unrelated story in Ohio or somewhere like that…and they were just about to return their rental car in Chicago, when the network found them, and told them to STOP, and bring it to State and Lake. I drove 13 hours from Chicago to Manhattan, stopping only for gas, munchies and the bathroom. I spent eight days reporting from Ground Zero, working alongside then-ABC News Radio correspondent Tim Scheld – who is now my boss at WCBS.

I’ll never forget the sights, sounds and smells of my time at Ground Zero. Fire trucks flattened to just a few feet high…flag-covered stretchers being passed down the debris pile…the acrid smoke and smell of rotting debris…the heroic efforts of rescue crews and volunteers. It was amazing. Now that I’m here, it affects me even more. I may not have been living here when the planes hit the towers…but, now that I am here – combined with my experience of covering the immediate aftermath of 9/11 – I take it very personally. You asked about the “most rewarding” story – does rewarding necessarily have to be a joyful, positive word? After the attacks, most of us wanted to do something to help. I guess reporting from the scene is what I did – trying to paint the picture for radio listeners who weren’t there. So, in that way, it was very rewarding for me.

I went to Bosnia in the mid-1990s, and reported on the peacekeepers there. That was an incredible trip. Houses riddled with pock marks from machine gun fire…other buildings that were completely blown up…mine fields everywhere…gunshots heard in the distance…and refugee kids everywhere – thousands of them. I gained a new appreciation for the over-used term “war torn.”

I also covered the war against Serbia from an aircraft carrier in the Adriatic Sea…and also from Albania, which where many of the refugees from Kosovo fled to. I interviewed many refugees, and heard first-hand about the atrocities they faced. Hearing – and telling – their stories really affected me. I took a lot of pride in that assignment.

Being part of the Illinois press corps that traveled to Cuba with then-Governor George Ryan was absolutely surreal. I mean, we were in Cuba! And, then…to meet up with Fidel Castro on our final day was one of the most bizarre moments of my career. He was in his early 70s then…but had the energy of a man half his age. He talked and talked and talked…out-lasting many of the reporters (or, at least, out-lasting our tapes and batteries!).

Other memories…the terrible Bourbonnais Amtrak crash in 1999. The deadly Lincoln Park porch collapse in 2003. The E2 nightclub stampede, also in 2003. The death of one great mayor, and the rise of another. The fall of at least one governor. And, some really lousy weather – from a deadly heat wave, to killer tornadoes, to a bunch of blizzards.

Rick: You also got to work with some Chicago radio icons. Looking back on it now, which radio personalities in Chicago do you admire the most, and for what reason?


Steve: Well, that list certainly begins with Don and Roma! (Photo) Any discussion of Hall of Fame-quality radio personalities in Chicago over the past quarter century is incomplete if Don and Roma are not on the list. The consistency they have brought to WLS for so long is amazing. Absolutely amazing. I don’t think they’re given enough credit for evolving and adapting to the Chicago radio landscape as it evolved. Remember, Don started as a swinging rock jock in his early days. Roma – who’s mastered more crafts than I have socks (what the heck is a “shrimp pot weaver,” any way, Roma?) – started in radio as a sidekick. As radio in Chicago evolved, so did they. They became a respected and highly-rated talk team. Do you know how hard that is? And, they’ve kept it up for over 20 years! Agree or disagree with their on-air opinions, you can’t argue with the success they’ve had.

You know what I learned from Don and Roma? From the moment I first started working with them as their traffic reporter in 1993, I was amazed by how prepared they were every day. Every day! I mentioned that to Don one time – I asked him how he could always be so “on,” so prepared every morning. I remember that he gave me an incredulous look that said, “How could you not be ready to go every day?” Every day I was on the air with them, I never wanted to be the guy who wasn’t prepared – who had the bad day that messed up their show. They instilled that in me, and I’m grateful to them for that.

As good as they’ve been on the air, Don and Roma are even better people. I wish every one had the chance to meet them and get to know them as I have. They treated Jeanne and me as if we were family. It was very hard to leave them behind when I came here to New York in 2006, but that decision was made easier by the encouragement they gave me to spread my wings and give it a shot at WCBS. I miss them a lot!

Roe Conn is a wonderful talent and a great guy. He is incredibly smart and witty – and, he has an excellent sense of comedic timing. His pairing with Garry Meier, another amazing talent, was lighting in a bottle. Like many of their fans, I keep hoping that the bolt may hit the bottle again someday.


Jonathon Brandmeier
is a genius. I’m only sorry that, because I worked mornings my entire 20+ years in Chicago, I rarely got to hear him on the air.

Steve Dahl – he’s made it work for a long time, huh? I see he’s nominated for the Radio Hall of Fame this year. You sure can’t argue with success. And, Steve + Garry = MAGIC!

Doug Banks – an abundance of talent and class!

Two great rock jocks – John Landecker and Dick Biondi. In an age of iPods and other sources of music, these guys are still disc jockeys who make you want to listen to the radio!

Patti Haze. To me, she was the queen of Chicago Rock and Roll radio.

Mitch Michaels. Yeah, Baby!

And, the late Allan Stagg. His “Sanctuary” program was very good radio. He left us too soon.

Rick: What about fellow newscasters?


Steve: John Hultman. Lyle Dean. Jeff Hendrix. Wow. Can I be them when I grow up? Delivery, knowledge, confidence and authority – the full package.

Jim Johnson tells stories extremely well. He can make you forget that you’re listening to a newscast…which, I think, is one of the keys to his success on Roe’s show. It’s seamless. You don’t last 40 years at one station without being really, really good at what you do. Jim is an absolute treasure.

I think Pat Cassidy (photo) is an excellent anchor – great communicator. I’ve always admired his style and delivery.

Bob Roberts is one of the hardest-working guys in town – he’s also very versatile in the stories he can report. Steve Grzanich, when he was in the field, was just outstanding – he filed some real gems. He’s doing a great job as an anchor, too. The political reporters…Bill Cameron, Bob Crawford, David Stewart, Craig Dellimore. You get smarter just talking to those guys. I’m also a big fan of Julie Mann and Andrea Darlas – both very talented.

Remember great names like Neil Parker, Dan Parker, Charlie Meyerson, and Michelle D’Amico? All tremendous radio news people.

I have great admiration for Barry Keefe, who recently exited WTMX. For a newsman to last 30 years at one FM station - especially in this day and age - is incredible. Barry's a great newsman and a wonderful person.

And, of course, the people who made our little WLS newsroom shine for so many years…Jennifer Keiper, Cisco Cotto, Susan Carlson. They always had to work extra hard to try to keep up with the bigger newsrooms (WBBM, WGN, etc.) – they never let me down.

There are so many others. I know I’m forgetting some.

Rick: People also remember you from your days as the public address announcer at the Chicago Bulls games. You must have a few stories from those days...

Steve: I had a blast announcing the Bulls. It’s funny. I spent more than 20 years in Chicago radio…but, to a lot of people, I was “the Bulls’ announcer.”


I started as the Bulls’ backup P.A. announcer the year before they won their first championship…and, I was Ray Clay’s fill-in guy during their entire championship era. I would usually do maybe four to six games a year filling in for Ray. When Ray and the Bulls parted ways, they asked me to be the regular announcer. I really enjoyed it. Whether the team on the floor was good or struggling, we always put on a good show for the fans. Every timeout had something going on…music, a contest, the Luvabulls – it was a great show. I think the fans always had a good time – even during the lean years, when the team was struggling.

Of course, I have great memories of introducing Michael Jordan and that great Bulls championship lineup. I remember Michael’s final appearance as a player at the United Center – that was pretty special. “From North Carolina!!!”

I remember the time Antonio Davis jumped onto and over the scorer’s table – almost stepping on me – to run into the stands when he thought he saw someone bothering his wife. I caught a few errant passes through the years. It was either catch the ball, or get hit in the face! I liked interacting with the players and referees. And, I had a lot of fun working with the other Bulls’ staffers at the scorer’s table. It’s funny – Tommy Edwards was the main PA guy when I started as the backup…and, he took over for me when I left to come to New York. Tommy is the best – he played a huge role in creating the Bulls’ famous introductions.

I’m keeping my hand in it here in New York by announcing some Knicks and Rangers games at Madison Square Garden. I really enjoy it!

Rick: You're the afternoon anchor now at WCBS in New York. How do you like that job and how are you adjusting to life in the Big Apple?

Steve: I love my job! I hope people understand that I didn’t leave WLS because of some sort of problem there – I loved working there. But, an opportunity came along to try something new. I had always been a supporting player on Don and Roma’s show – an important part of the team, but a supporting player. Now, I had a chance to be a main anchor at a station where news is the priority. And, although I think market size is very much overrated, I have to admit there was an allure to giving it a shot on the largest stage.

CBS has been great to me. I work with a great news team here at WCBS. We have some really, really good people…both on and off the air. I think our team is especially good on breaking news stories – we can shift gears and change our focus on a moment’s notice. That’s a lot of fun. (Photo: Steve with John Bolton)

There’s certainly been a learning curve. In addition to learning a new format on a new station, I also had to a whole new geographic area…the names of towns. You don’t want to mispronounce Mamaroneck or Massapequa or Hauppauge on the air – it can kill your credibility. And, since we are big in three states (NY, NJ and CT), you need to know about three governors, three legislatures and three different sets of laws – everything from the death penalty to whether the states allow cameras in courtrooms.

My on-air co-anchor, Wayne Cabot, is a lifelong New Jersey guy who’s been at WCBS for 20 years. He never tires of answering my questions of “where’s this town?” or “how do I pronounce this town?” He has really helped me adjust. I’ve been here since September of 2006…and, I’m finally not feeling like “the new guy” any more.

And, working in the CBS Broadcast Center is pretty cool. You never know who you may see walking the halls…Katie Couric, Andy Rooney, correspondents from the CBS Evening News, 60 Minutes or 48 Hours Mystery – you could bump into any of them. Katie comes on the air with us every day – that’s fun. Oh, Guiding Light films in our building, too – we see them in the cafeteria sometimes.

As for New York – it’s a great city! The restaurants, theater, nightlife, etc. are all very cool. We hit Broadway shows quite often – we’ve seen some wonderful shows. There is something about New York City – I guess you either like it or you don’t. I took to it right away. It’s very fast-paced. You walk at a brisk pace, just to keep up with the crowds on the sidewalk. Then, when you go to another city, you can’t figure out why every one is walking so slowly! There really is an energy in New York that is unlike anywhere else I’ve been.

We live in New Jersey, right on the Hudson River, directly across from lower Manhattan. We look across the river into NYC from our balcony, and the back door to our building opens directly to a lovely riverwalk. I never used public transit a whole lot in Chicago, because we lived downtown. Now that we’re in the suburbs, my wife and I both take ferries across the river to work (we can also take trains). So, it’s very convenient. The public transit here is great. We’ve gotten to be pretty good at getting around town via the subway. Driving in Manhattan can be a little crazy, but we do it when we have to – it’s not that bad.

Rick: Is there anything you'd like to say to your fans in Chicago?

Steve: Fans? Well, I don’t know about that. But, to any one who remembers me, I would like to say that I enjoyed my 20+ years in Chicago. It’s a great city, and I met a lot of wonderful people – it’s where I met my wife! I also had a chance to work with a lot of fantastic radio people. To those with whom I worked…and, to those who listened through the years…thank you!

I hope they’ll keep listening to the radio. Sure, it’s a difficult time for the industry, and there’s a lot of competition for the listener’s attention. But, radio – when done right – is local, immediate and intimate. That’s what has kept the medium viable for nearly 90 years. And, if you happen to patronize an advertiser on your favorite radio station, please tell them you heard their commercial on the air – and that’s why you’re there. Radio advertising still works – but every bit of reinforcement helps!

Finally, if any one would like to say hello, I hope they’ll drop me an email at sscott@wcbs880.com. It’s always nice to hear from old friends!