Monday Musings

Every Monday stop by for jokes, links to stories you might have missed, amusing photos and video, and more. Contributions and suggestions are welcome and encouraged. Click on the "Email Me" link on the right to contribute.



Joke of the Week: John McCain Jokes from the Late Night Shows....

"As you know, last week the big rumor, according to the New York Times, is John McCain was allegedly sleeping with a a young, attractive lobbyist. Well, that story has pretty much gone away. In fact, the only one trying to keep it alive now? John McCain." --Jay Leno

"Obama and Hillary argued last night over which candidate the Republicans are most afraid of. Interesting. I don't want to take sides here, but I think it's pretty obvious which candidate Republicans are most afraid of, John McCain." --Jay Leno

John McCain, looks like the guy that goes to the curb for the paper and locks himself outside of the house." --David Letterman

"The New York Times says that John McCain had a close, personal relationship with a beautiful, young, female lobbyist. Do you believe this? Think about it. A senator, who's a Republican having sex with a woman." --Jay Leno

"If it does turn out to be true, then John McCain's critics have a point -- he really does act more like a Democrat." --Jay Leno

"They say this woman works for the telecommunications lobby. Apparently, she called McCain out of the blue and asked, 'Are you happy with your current sex provider?'" --Jay Leno

"The New York Times this week printed an article alleging that John McCain may have had an improper affair with lobbyist Vicki Iseman. Or, as it's known among lobbyists, lobbying." --Amy Poehler

"The New York Times is claiming that John McCain, who is 71 years old, had an inappropriate relationship with a woman who is a Washington lobbyist. The good news is there's no footage. Political experts say this could be a huge scandal for McCain because he's married and the woman he's accused of having an affair with is 31 years younger than he is. In a related story, earlier today McCain was endorsed by Bill Clinton." --Conan O'Brien

"I mean, think about it, John McCain and with a young blond, and this was interesting: out of force of habit, Hillary is standing by him." --David Letterman

"But seriously how about that John McCain? John McCain looks like a guy whose head you can barely see over the steering wheel. ... John McCain looks like the guy who thinks the nurses are stealing his stuff. 'Dad, why would they take your socks? It doesn't make sense.'" --David Letterman

"There was a big story in The New York Times today about Senator John McCain, who's running for president. It questioned his ties to a lobbyist named Vicki Iseman. The story 'hinted' that McCain may have had an extramarital affair with her, but the weird thing is she looks almost exactly like John McCain's wife, Cindy. So he might have just got confused and grabbed the wrong woman. These two look more alike than the Olson twins." --Jimmy Kimmel

"They have debated so much that they are now debating about debating. Did you see this? A lot of this debate was about the power of words. Hillary said, 'Actions speak louder than words,' Then Obama said, 'Words can speak as loud as actions.' And then McCain said, 'Speak louder!'" --Bill Maher

"The New York Times printed a story that said ... in John McCain's last campaign in 2000, he was apparently acting so sprung on a lobbyist lady that his staff had to c---block the senior citizen from Arizona from sweeping this chick right off her feet and onto his motorized shopping cart. ... John McCain's pick-up line is, 'Did you know that 150 is the new 130?'" --Bill Maher

"I think this is a cynical attempt by the McCain campaign to make their candidate appear youthful and vigorous. I think they made the whole thing up and filtered it through the New York Times. You know, just like Bush did with the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. ... Because there's no real evidence to this story. Yes, a lot of people saw McCain going around with a cheap blond in a slinky dress, but they figured it was Rudy Giuliani." --Bill Maher

"How about this John McCain, huh? Whoa, my gosh - doesn't he look like the old guy at the barber shop? He looks kind of like a Wal-Mart greeter, John McCain. He kind of looks like the neighbor who says, 'Oh, that dead tree is on your property,' one of those guys. He's the guy who is always early for the early bird special, that's what he looks like. He looks like a mall walker, ladies and gentlemen. He looks like the guy at the supermarket who is confused by the automatic doors. He looks like the uncle who pretends to remove his thumb." --David Letterman

"John McCain seems reinvigorated. He has a new campaign slogan, 'He'll lead you into the 21st century.' I like it better than the old slogan, which was 'He'll lead you into assisted living.'" --David Letterman

"Senator John McCain has unveiled a new campaign slogan — 'Ready To Lead America Into The 21st Century.' Yeah, yeah. And this is a lot better than his old slogan, 'I've Been Around Since The 19th Century.'" --Conan O'Brien

"I like John McCain. He looks like an old guy in a coffee shop who's still complaining about the designated hitter. ... He looks like the guy who asks the driver if he's on the right bus. ... Who looks like the guy who's always saying, 'What was that? Nothing? That's what I thought.'" --David Letterman

"This campaign is kind of fascinating, because the three major candidates have to be very careful when they criticize each other. Like, you can't criticize Hillary. Ooh, that's sexism. You can't criticize Barack. Ooh, that's racism. And you can't go after McCain, because that's elder abuse." --Jay Leno

"After John McCain swept yesterday's primaries he purposely stole a line Barack Obama's been using, 'I'm fired up and ready to go.' When Obama heard this he stole a line McCain's been using, 'I'm old and not sure where I am.'" --Conan O'Brien




Stories you might have missed

1. Men who do more around the house get more sex
(Keep that in mind you sarcastic readers who made fun of my "Clean Up the House Day" column a few months ago.)

2. Bill Gates is no longer richest man in the world
(This is the downside of spending less time on business and more time helping out around the house to improve your sex-life.)

3. "No Cussing Week" in South Pasadena
(And everybody's saying that there's nobody meaner, than the little old lady from Pasadena. Maybe this will finally silence the terror of Colorado Boulevard)

4. Robert Downey Jr. to play black man in upcoming film
(Note: It's a comedy)

5. Jeremy Piven propositions two models at the same time (via text message) not realizing they are friends
(Oh, and by the way, he has a girlfriend, too.)




Video of the week: Contributed by "M". Ellen DeGeneres having fun with the "Hawaiian Chair"









Picture of the week: Contributed by "A". He calls it "Eight years after Bill Clinton left Washington." Click on the photo to enlarge it.















Reader Response




Regarding Suburban Man: "The Oscars Through the Eyes of a 12 year old"

"I’m an Academy Award junkie myself. (Robert Boyle rocks!) But I’m glad that Hannah Montana and Lightning McQueen were around to cancel out the creakiness of Regis (!!) on the red carpet and Jack Nicholson’s tired sunglasses-in-the-front-row routine. And Barbara Walters interviewing Juno’s Ellen Page? The obvious generation (or two) gap was sooooo awkward. I think we need some fresh faces. Love Jon Stewart! When he called Glen Hansard “arrogant,” I almost fell off my couch."
--M

"I only saw Juno this year and am glad it didn’t win Best Picture- I knew the others deserved it even though I hadn’t seen them! But, I do think it was kinda cool Diablo Cody won her Oscar. I was THRILLED that Glen & Marketa won for Best Song because I HAVE that album and loved their movie “Once.” Oh, and my boys crack us up. Once there was a commercial with Paul Newman on and Noah said - hey- that’s Doc!"
--S

Regarding The Radio Producer's Handbook

"I'm a HUGE fan of your Producers Handbook. Post-it notes are EVERYWHERE in my copy! ha. Great website too!"
--J

Rick responds: I was in Iowa this past weekend with my oldest son Tommy for a Boys Scouts retreat (don't worry--column coming on that), and I walked into the bookstore there to kill some time. They had a ton of copies of The Radio Producer's Handbook (University of Iowa must use it as a textbook) and I signed them all. The guy at the bookstore was very funny. He said: "You're the author? We don't get a lot of those here in Iowa."








Just 316 days until we elect a new President

Chicago Radio Spotlight: Dobie Maxwell

Dobie Maxwell is a regular contributer to the Jerry Agar show (every Monday) on WLS-AM 890.




COMPLETE RADIO-OGRAPHY

I've been all over the road like a dead skunk. After Dick Biondi I might just be right up there with times fired in radio. It's to the point now every time I'm in a radio studio and the hot line rings I start looking for a cubicle to clean out.

WMMQ-Lansing
(My first radio gig)

WQFM-Milwaukee
(I ended up getting on the morning show and it was a total disaster from day one. My partner and I didn't hit it off at all. He fancied himself as the funny guy and always tried to one up me no matter what. It got to be a huge pain in the shorts because he was very lazy but still wanted to be the funny guy. I tried working with him and changing my style to fit his and no matter what I did we were just not cut out to work together. That lasted about ten months and I got fired the day before Thanksgiving of 1991.)

KQNV-Reno (100.9 FM)
(I liked Reno but again got blown out after one book because the owner was too impatient with the format change and decided it was better to fire everyone rather than wait for the product to catch on. He was a rich kid who never had to work for anything in his life and if he should ever get a pox on his genitalia I wouldn't send any donations for a vaccine.)

'Extreme Country 104.7'-Kenosa, Wisconsin
(One morning the GM said to me: 'If my husband didn't think you were the funniest person walking the earth you would be SO fired.' Hey, thanks a lot for the vote of confidence! I quit before I got fired but eventually it would have happened.)

Salt Lake City
(I got a call from my ex-partner in Reno asking if I would come to Salt Lake City and do a morning show with him there. He had to fire his morning show because one of them got caught exposing himself on video camera at a department store in town. I lasted a year and a week and they decided to 'go in a different direction'.)

WLUP-Chicago
(It's a good thing my partners were fantastic and we still get along well today. Those were some hectic times in many ways and trying to build a show from scratch was not pleasant at all.)

WLS-Chicago
(Jerry Agar's show, every Monday at 10:30 a.m)



Rick: You've always been a stand up comedian who did radio, instead of a radio guy who did stand up comedy. How did you get that first radio job?

Dobie: I started in radio doing comedy bits up in Milwaukee where I'm originally from. A morning guy saw me when I was starting out as a standup and asked if I wanted to do a regular weekly bit on his show. It went pretty well and then of course he died. That's why my moniker of 'Mr. Lucky' fits so well. It couldn't be that he got fired or promoted, my only connection had to actually DIE. I felt bad for him but I felt bad for me too because I liked the pressure of a deadline to come up with new stuff every week. That was also my first experience of being without a gig, and even though I wasn't getting paid I did enjoy the exposure, so getting let go was a let down. This was probably around 1985 or '86. The station was WMYX and the guy that passed away was Keith Moore. His partner Jane Matanaer is still there today, and I just was a guest on that show two weeks ago.

After that I hooked up with another guy who ended up living a little longer. In fact he's still living today. His name is Jeff Rowe, and he's done all kinds of big things from being the PD at VH-1, to developing sitcoms at NBC in Hollywood, to being a bigwig at AOL. He was running WKTI back in the 80s and hired me to do a bit called 'Milwaukee Vice'. Miami Vice was hot back then and I wrote a bit that ran a couple times a week on the Reitman and Mueller show. Looking back at it I was HORRIBLE, but Jeff gave me a shot and the concept was ok. That was my next foray into radio and it ended when Jeff got his promotion to VH-1 in New York. His replacement was an anal rententive pinhead who clashed with me right away.

My first real job was at classic rock WMMQ in Lansing, MI. I was a guest comedian on the morning show and the owner heard me and said 'Hey, you're pretty funny. How would you like to fill in on the morning show for a couple of weeks?' I told him I guess I wouldn't mind, but what I didn't know was that I wasn't 'filling in.' The other morning guy was in cocaine rehab, and I had the job but didn't know it. What a ride that was. There was a great staff there, and three months after I got there the PD left, and one by one the staff did too. The owner was a total moron and nobody liked working for him. He was very hands on with everything. If his wife thought Beetle Bailey was funny that morning he'd call me on the hot line at 6:30 and tell me to do a bit about it at 7:10. I lasted about six months, and it was brutal, but I sure learned a lot about radio at that job.



(Photo: Dobie with Jackie Mason)






Many comedians think they can do radio and many jocks think they can do comedy. WRONG. They are both very different and I happen to be able to do them both well enough to get hired professionally, but that's very rare. It's like an athlete playing two sports professionally. Yes, a few have done it but not all that often.

A few other examples of people who have done both successfully are Dennis Miller, Steve Cochran (photo), Bill Leff and my old partner at the Loop Spike Manton. Spike was great to work with even though our comedic styles are very very different. I'm not sure if we should work together on radio again only because we're just from two different schools. That's not good or bad, but it would be like drafting a punishing running back for a west coast offense in football. It doesn't fit together, but it doesn't mean they can't all have a successful career. A big part of radio is chemistry and I usually got fired in most places before I could let that chemistry gel a little. Spike is funny and very good at what he does and I thought he was especially effective with Steve Dahl.

Rick: I know you're originally from Milwaukee, but you've been based in Chicago for quite a long time. What is it about Chicago that made you decide to make it your home?

Dobie: That's a great question. You should do this for a living. Seriously, places just have a vibe and Chicago and I have always been a match. I can still remember going on vacation with my grandparents when I was a kid and driving through Chicago and loving all the tall buildings and overhead restaurants on the tollway and the big neon signs on the side of the road for Magikist and Dad's Root Beer and Budweiser. I knew at about six years old that I wanted to live in Chicago and my grandmother thought I was possessed by a demon. "Why would ANYBODY want to live in this ghetto-fied hell hole??" That's a typical Milwaukee reaction to Chicago but I'm not very typical in a lot of ways. I loved Chicago then and I love it even more now. I was born in Milwaukee but Chicago is my home. It's like Steve Dahl. He was born in LA but Chicago is his home now as well.

Milwaukee was never a good comedy town and still isn't. (VIDEO: Dobie on stage doing a bit about Milwaukee) Chicago is 90 miles on a map but 90 light years as far as being an entertainment city. I hooked up with Zanies and have been a regular there for years and I still love working there today. I also teach comedy classes there and that's very rewarding actually. It's like a sports fantasy camp where people who want to see what comedy is all about can live the dream for a night. I have been doing that since about 1995 and it's still fun.

Whenever I've gotten fired from a radio job I've always drifted back to Chicago at my lowest point and rebuilt my life. That's happened WAY more times than I'd hoped but at least I have a place I feel at home. I'm bulletproof here. I even like it in Gary. Well, maybe that's a little stretch.

Rick: People probably remember you best from your stint on the Loop, as co-host of the Morning Loop Guys (photo). One feature of that show was your 60 second soapbox, which was essentially a rant on whatever was bugging on you on that particular day. How did that ever start?

Dobie: Well a lot of things bug me at any given time and that's what makes good comedy. I was in Utah and had to follow that horrible situation of the guy exposing himself in the department store on video camera. He was the sidekick and the lead guy on the show had been an icon in town for many years. My partner and I had to field calls of 'What happened to the other guys?' for weeks after we started and one day I just told him to crank up my mike and I went off on everything that was bugging me about it.

I really let loose and told it like it was. "You wanna know what happened to those two idiots? They got FIRED. And you know what? They're NOT coming back so SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND STOP WHINING. And better yet if we stink WE'LL get fired soon enough too so QUIT CALLING US and let us sink or swim on our own." I thought my partner was going to soil his shorts because it was a country station in Salt Lake City, but we started to get calls immediately saying "I like this guy - he can stay." Even the GM came in the studio and said "Now THERE'S a fresh way to handle it."

The following morning my partner asked me if I had anything else on my mind and I said "Well as a matter of fact I do..." and I went off on the Mormons. It wasn't bad or mean spirited but everyone was afraid of what the Mormons would do or say or think and I just said I knew they were out there and I knew I wasn't one of them but that didn't mean we couldn't still have fun and that started getting calls too.

It started from there and eventually I'd do one almost every day if I could think of something to write about. I mentioned it as a possible bit at the Loop in a meeting and Greg Solk wanted to hear it and we gave it a shot and that was it. I did it every single day for over a year and I still get people at comedy shows asking me if I'll do it again. Jerry Agar has asked me to start doing it on WLS and we're almost ready to let it rip. I love doing it for many reasons, mainly because again it gives me a deadline and something to write for. I think that makes a good entertainer. If a person can deliver consistently in a pressure situation that's what makes a pro. It's like sports. I definitely want the ball in the clutch situation.

Rick: You're co-hosts on that Loop show were Spike Manton, Max Bumgardner, and Bruce Wolf. You've already talked a little bit about Spike, but what it was like working with the other two?

Dobie: Spike (photo) is really the reason I got the job. I was a guest on his overnight show with Harry Teinowitz on WMVP AM 1000 and he suggested me to Greg Solk. I thought we would eventually end up fighting because that year was so hectic but just the opposite happened. Spike is a great friend and a quality person and I think the world of the guy. That year together bonded the three of us and we still stay in contact now.

Max and I clicked on several levels. We are very close still and probably will be for life. He is not a comedian and never claimed to be but he's a super person and we like to say we're 'dented cans'. Spike had a pretty decent family but Max and I are still haunted by our past. His father and mine were both louts and lowlifes and it's affected us to this day. We bonded on that level right away and I know a lot of listeners have the same kinds of problems Max and I are trying to overcome and break the chains of our painful childhoods.

It's like trying to talk to a woman about the pain of child birth. I can IMAGINE how painful it is but I've never actually experienced it and never will. The same is true with the 'dented can' childhood. Max (photo) had one and I did too and we're both striving to overcome it and salvage a good life for each other. We call each other at times when we're down and it's great knowing there is somebody out there with the same mindset who 'gets it.' I love Spike as a comedian brother but Max and I go a lot deeper than that. I'm a wacky uncle to his kids and think the world of his whole family. He's a great businessman too and has a very bright future and I need work in that area. We've each got strengths the other one doesn't and that's what makes a good show partner.

Bruce Wolf (photo) is a very talented guy. He's extremely intelligent and funny and I loved working with him even though we weren't in the same room. He was at Fox TV doing sports so we only had him twice an hour so I didn't get to know him like I did Spike and Max. I have stayed in contact as much as possible and have only good things to say about him. He should go on Jeopardy and win a lot of money because I think he's that smart. He's the kind of personality people love or loathe and that's what good entertainment is. Not all Loopers got him and that's just how it works. I did, and thought he was really sharp, but many times people who would see me at a comedy show would say they didn't care for his style of humor.

One thing I think may have hurt us is that he was associated with the old regime at the Loop and we were new. Some listeners didn't like that for whatever reason. I'm glad he's back on with Johnny now and that's probably where he belongs. I don't have anything against Johnny but I don't listen just because it still hurts that we got torched for no good reason. We'd really be jamming by now and I wouldn't be struggling to pay rent. I wish Johnny and Bruce both well though and if that's how it was meant to turn out who am I to fight it? But the company could have been nicer.




(Photo: Dobie with former Loop colleague Cara Carriveau)





Rick: OK, anyone who has seen your act knows that you go by the name of Mr. Lucky, because of your legendary streak of bad luck. I'm sure your "luck" has spread to your radio career too. Tell us a few of your favorite Mr. Lucky radio stories.

Dobie: I don't know how one guy could have so many stories of being in the wrong place at the wrong time but I'm your man. I must have been a real evil guy in a past life to keep suffering so much in this one but it sure makes for good comedy and good stories.

I remember one time when I was first starting out I made a mistake on the air and said the old line "Hire the handicapped, they're entertaining." I got a call from a guy which I stupidly took live and he said "I'M handicapped you asshole." I told him I was talking about ME and making fun of the mistake I just made and not about him but he wouldn't hear of it and kept going on about it. I tried to be nice but he kept on 'poking the tiger' so eventually I said "Hey you crippled waterhead, why don't you hang up the phone and change your diaper and put on your bib and helmet and go take one of the good parking spaces a REAL person could be using. There, NOW you have something to be upset about. Keep drooling."

Well of course that was live and the GM got to work and had about 200 faxes about how rotten I was and it turned into a major deal but believe it or not I didn't get fired for that one. The sales manager was listening and he and the GM were tight and he thought it was the funniest thing he ever heard on the air in his life. Still, it was bad timing to take the call live.

Another one I won't forget was when I was in Lansing and had been on the air for about a month. Lansing is a college town and I was 26 at the time and a sales person came up with a 'Win a date with Dobie' promotion. The date was dinner and a movie. The restaurant was a client and I had to choose the movie. I went with it but since I was working so hard I really didn't have a chance to catch up on any movies so I just picked one out of the paper. It turned out to be 'The Silence Of The Lambs.' I thought "Well, it's got the word 'lambs' in the title so it must be a chick flick." True story. That was a total disaster and needless to say we didn't have a second date. We barely got through the first. No kiss that night.

Yet another one happened when I was in Utah. They tried that same gimmick again but this time the 'date' was Utah Jazz tickets. I love sports so I said I'd do it and the woman who won the contest sent a picture and was very hot. I picked her up but we didn't go to dinner because she had kids and could only go to the game. As luck would have it the tickets were in the very last row of the arena so we walked up the stairs and I felt like I was going to have a coronary right then and there. I bought us some hot dogs and nachos and sodas and we sat down and were just about to start eating when she said out of the blue "You know I'm a member of the Mormon Church and I don't believe in having sex with a man unless we're married don't you?" I thought I was being funny and said "Well you could have gotten a couple of dinners out of me first before you told me that." She did NOT find that funny at all and got up and left. I sat there with my hot dogs and sodas and nachos and watched her walk down the steps and out of my life forever. I turned and shrugged to the people sitting around me and started eating my hot dogs and nachos. Go Jazz.

Those are the first few that pop into my head but they're by far not the only ones. One time I was with a chick in her apartment and things were going great and the doorbell rang. It was her brother and after an awkward introduction he said "Well Dobie, I'm sorry to have to meet you on a day like this but I can't think of a way to sugar coat this - Sis...Mom died today." End of date. End of relationship. Another dinner bought wasted. There are ten thousand tales in the Lucky City. These are but a few of them.

Rick: Now you're a regular on the Jerry Agar show on WLS-Radio. What do you do on Jerry's show?

Dobie: I've know Jerry Agar (photo) for about 20 years. Jerry asked if I would help him get a panel of comedians to do jokes on current events and that's what we do on Mondays at 10:30am. The bit is called 'Jerry's Kidders' and it's really a lot of fun because I don't have to get air checked when I'm done with it.

Jerry has his own story of bouncing around the country doing radio, and every time either one of us got fired we'd call each other and have someone to complain to. He's been great and we've stayed in contact all these years. We started out in St. Charles at a tiny AM station 1480 WFXW. He did mornings and I was a guest plugging the new Zanies location in Pheasant Run. I was complaining that I had to go way out to St. Charles at 6am to do some rinky dink low life AM station and he was complaining that the club didn't even send the headliner. I was just the opening act. We laugh about it now but back then it was true. We hit it off after one visit and I was a regular after that. I think that was back around 1988 or 89.


Rick: Can you see yourself ever doing a full-time radio show again, or is your career heading in a different direction now?

Dobie: I'm battle scarred and jaded after years of dealing with radio idiots or 'radiots' as I like to call them. For every Max and Spike and Rick Kaempfer and Jerry Agar I've met there have been ten to twenty imbeciles who tell me to do a Beetle Bailey bit at 7:10. I'd LOVE to have a chance to work at a solid station for a period of time when a show could gel and develop but at this point I'm not sure if that will ever happen.

The only reason I ever wanted to get into radio was so that people would know me as a comedian and come out to see me live. My first three or four jobs in radio I was SO not ready and I freely admit that. Then I found out I was halfway decent at it and it started to come together, and now I feel I could do an outstanding job if I had a chance somewhere. I may never get my own full time show again and I'm ok with that. Working at a place like WLS is as close as I have gotten to doing what I set out to do. I am billed as a comedian and don't have to stop to play a Pink Floyd or a Faith Hill song just when things are going well. My friend Kipper McGee (photo) is the program director and I put him on my short list of positive radio connections I've met over the years. Between him and Jerry they both sit back and let me go because they know I know where I'm going when the mike is on.

I doubt that I would pack up the car and head out across the country again to work for some half wit with two first names like "Mike Michaels" or "Steve Stevens" or "Joe Joseph" again. Those days are mercifully over. But I've said that before. On the right day if someone calls I just may find myself back on the air someplace but would take a hell of an offer at this point to make that happen.

What I really enjoy is being a 'friend of the show' to many different shows. I'm on once a week with Jerry on WLS but I also stop in on Max's show in Springfield, IL any time I'm down there. I also have a friend in Rockford who does afternoons and I can stop there any time I want to and hang out on the air. I also am a semi-regular at the ESPN station up in Milwaukee too. I also still have friends in Salt Lake City and Reno who put me on when I'm out that way. That makes radio really fun. I go in and add to a show and then leave and not have to worry about getting yelled at by "Fred Fredericks" or "Walt Walters" when I'm done. I've got the best of both worlds and for once Mr. Lucky is catching the good break.

One more thing I'm working on is a website to sell funny stuff of all kinds called 'Uranus Factory Outlet' or U.F.O. I am going to come up with a character and call myself "The King Of Uranus" and go on radio and TV and do my own commercials like a cheesy used car dealer. Every town is familiar with their own local goofbag who sells cars or carpets or catheters or whatever and those people get known. I've been trying to catch my break for years and have been too busy getting fired at radio to wait for my ship to come in.

This idea is SO stupid and that's exactly what will make it work. My slogan is 'It's ALWAYS funny when it comes from Uranus.' Stay tuned for that because it will either be my million dollar empire or I'll go totally broke trying. Neither one scares me, so here we go. I have a corporate entity set up and am getting things in place and hope to be up and running in just a couple of weeks. My birthday is March 14th and Uranus came to be on March 13th so all this is cosmic. It was meant to be and I have never felt as strong about any idea I've ever done than I do about this one. Who doesn't like to laugh? I will use my radio experience and comedy experience and a lifetime of criss crossing North America as the basis of scouring the planet to find the funniest things on Earth.

So to answer your question I guess I would take a radio job again but it would have to pay more than a King at this point. Thanks for letting me be a part of your interview and a big 'Thumbs Up Uranus!' to your readers.

Oh, one more thing. I will be performing at Zanies both in Vernon Hills and downtown later this month. For exact dates go to www.zanies.com. If you would like tickets to a show as a very special thanks for reading all the way through this article please send me an email at uranusking@aol.com and I'll make sure you'll get in as my guest absolutely FREE.

Free your mind and your laughs will follow. Hope to see you all at Zanies and hear laughter coming from Uranus!

Stanley Kubrick...

...died on this day (March 7) in 1999. I still list the movie "Dr. Strangelove" on my list of favorites. This is the war-room scene from that movie.

Media Notebook (March 6, 2008)

Collected and Edited by Rick Kaempfer





Highlights and links to the big stories in the news this week about the media. This column appears twice a week at MEDIA NOTEBOOK



FCC official wants probe of blacked out 60 Minutes report
(Reuters) A U.S. Federal Communications Commission official is seeking an inquiry into the blacking out of a politically charged segment of the CBS News magazine "60 Minutes" by a local television station in Alabama. FCC Commissioner Michael Copps said he had asked the chairman of the FCC to open an inquiry into the February 24 incident at WHNT, a CBS affiliate in Huntsville, Alabama, in which civil rights footage from the 1960s was blacked out. "The FCC now needs to find out if something analogous is going on here," Copps said at a luncheon with media watchdog groups. "Was this an attempt to suppress information on the public airwaves, or was it really just a technical problem?"


Dan Rather left out of 48 Hours anniversary party
(New York Magazine) Everybody who is anybody in television news — with one glaring omission — showed up for last week’s twentieth-anniversary blowout for 48 Hours, which, after 60 Minutes, is CBS News’ most durable magazine program. On hand for the party in the twentieth-floor lounge at 230 Fifth Avenue were CBS chairman Leslie Moonves, CBS News president Sean McManus, 48 Hours executive producer Susan Zirinsky, former CBS president Sir Howard Stringer, and former news president Andrew Heyward. Missing was Dan Rather.


CNN is beating Fox News again
(NY Times) Tim Arango writes: "After a long malaise, CNN is finally getting its swagger back. In the last four years CNN, which includes not just the flagship American network, but Headline News, CNN International and CNN.com, doubled its profits. 'There are not a lot of 27-year-old companies in America that can make that claim,' Mr. Walton said. All three cable news networks — CNN, Fox News and MSNBC — have enjoyed ratings bumps during the primaries. But CNN is able to brag about something it had not been able to since 2001: it topped Fox News in the prime-time ratings for a single month in the 25 to 54 age category, the group most coveted by advertisers."




CLICK HERE



How Self-Censorship Works in the Rupert Murdoch Empire
(The Guardian) Roy Greenslade writes: "In the run-up to Rupert Murdoch's takeover of Dow Jones, he went to great lengths to assure the staff of the Wall Street Journal , not to mention the wider journalistic community, that his editors are able to exercise editorial freedom. The WSJ would be safe in his hands. But, as we all know, editors are always aware that their freedom to edit relies on having an editorship. Their jobs depend on the owner, and that tends to encourage them to second-guess his desires. So Hugo Restall, editor of a small former Dow Jones asset, the Far Eastern Economic Review, knew exactly what to do when confronted by a review of a book about Murdoch's Chinese business forays, Rupert's adventures in China: How Murdoch lost a fortune and found a wife. He spiked it."

Murdoch tell-all book nears publication
(Publisher's Weekly) Lynn Andriani writes: "Tuttle Publishing, the independent house that specializes in Asian-interest books, is considering moving the publication of the book, which they have re-titled Rupert Murdoch's China Adventures: How the World's Most Powerful Media Mogul Lost a Fortune and Found a Wife, from July to May because of the media interest. Publicist Rowan Muelling-Auer said Tuttle has not made changes to the book’s content, aside from Americanized English, and at this time does not have plans to vet the book from a legal perspective. 'It’s not something that we’re particularly worried about,' she said."


A place for angry journalists
(Editor & Publisher) Steve Outing writes: "Earlier this month, Kiyoshi Martinez started an experimental website that gives journalists a chance to vent their feelings about their profession and their work lives. And have they ever. AngryJournalist.com is a simple yet powerful concept: a gripe board where journalists are asked to say what's making them angry today. It's the modern-day equivalent of the anonymous suggestion box in the company lunchroom. All posts to the site are anonymous. Everything submitted goes through Martinez, who screens out trolls and spammers and non-relevant stuff. Most of the gripes are from journalists, though a few non-journalists manage to get their comments through Martinez' filter. (He spends about an hour a night on moderation duties.) The postings appear to come mostly from newspaper and TV news people (traditional and new media sides), with the occasional magazine or radio journalist chiming in."






CLICK HERE






FCC has chilling effect on shows
(TV Week) Ira Teinowitz writes: "Federal Communications Commission Chairman Kevin Martin may be winning the fight he has picked with TV networks that air racy programming. Mr. Martin’s agency lost the last major indecency court case in federal appeals court and he’s awaiting the Supreme Court’s decision on whether it will resuscitate that action against Fox. But the FCC’s legal setbacks aside, groups that represent show creators say the agency’s crackdown is affecting which shows end up on broadcast TV, and which shots or lines get pulled. Does that mean that without winning a decisive battle, the FCC is winning the war?"


The Real Media Bias
(Newsweek) I think Evan Thomas is right on the money when he writes this..."The mainstream media (the "MSM" the bloggers love to rail against) are prejudiced, but not ideologically. The press's real bias is for conflict. Editors, even ones who marched in antiwar demonstrations during the Vietnam era, have a weakness for war, the ultimate conflict. Inveterate gossips and snoops, journalists also share a yen for scandal, preferably sexual. But mostly they are looking for narratives that reveal something of character. It is the human drama that most compels our attention."


The British Media and the Prince Harry secret
(NY Times) Stelter and Lyall write: "Every morning for 10 weeks, Bob Satchwell typed the words 'Prince Harry' and 'Afghanistan' into Google, and every morning, the top result was the same: 'Prince Harry Is Forbidden To Fight Alongside Soldiers In Afghanistan.' Mr. Satchwell was relieved; as the executive director of the Society of Editors in Britain, he had brokered a top-secret agreement to keep the prince’s presence in Afghanistan out of the cutthroat British papers and off the airwaves to reduce the chances that the prince or his fellow soldiers would become special targets of enemy fighters."


CLICK HERE



Sun-Times launches Oprah blog
(suntimes.com) This site is all about Oprah all the time, for those people who just don't get enough Oprah Winfrey. Here's what it says on the site about the blogger: "Mark Bieganski is an online content guru for the Chicago Sun-Times and RogerEbert.com. He follows the Oprah phenom like it's a religion. He's been to the show three times as an audience member (he'll make the show as a guest someday) and has had the Oprah show on season pass ever since getting a Tivo two years ago."


Bloodbath at WLS Radio
(Chicago Tribune) Jim Kirk writes: "In what staffers referred to as a "bloodbath'' Friday, WLS-AM 890 fired a number of staffers, including several news veterans, as owner Citadel Broadcasting slashed costs nationwide during one of the biggest advertising downturns in radio history. Among those let go were station news director and longtime Chicago radio news journalist Jennifer Keiper and longtime City Hall reporter Bill Cameron, sources said. Also among the group let go were news reporter David Jennings, a producer on the Don Wade & Roma morning show and various ad sales and support staff. Saturday morning host, Jake Hartford, was also shown the door, sources said."


WLS' Roe Conn reacts to bloodbath
(Roeconn.com) "On Leap Day, the barbarians breached the gate. WLS News was stripped to its core. Leaving only morning and afternoon drive anchors and a single reporter. This will be lamented by newspapermen who have watched their newsrooms similarly dismantled. Television newsroom staffs will avert their eyes with ominous awareness. Bloggers will anonymously crow about the dismantling of the old order with the schadenfreud-induced ferocity of those once cast aside by the medium they now decry...The magic and power of radio may be lost on Wall Street analysts, but it is not lost on you. According to those who monitor such things, more people listen to Chicago radio than ever before. 7,784,000 people over the age of 12 listen to terrestrial radio in this market alone. A record number despite the competition for your attention provided by cell phones, satellites and potholes."

Listeners Lash Out At WLS
(Chicago Sun Times) Robert Feder printed letters in his column today from outraged listeners. Judging by the tone and tenor of these letters, the management at WLS is getting an earful these days.





CLICK HERE






It was 20 years ago this week...
(Richsamuels.com) ...that WMAQ (Chicago's oldest radio station) went all news (March 1, 1988). If you've never checked it out before, and you're interested in WMAQ history at all, you really should check out Rich Samuel's excellent history of the frequency at the link above. It's very well done.


An interview with Lisa Greene
(Chicago Radio Spotlight) Last weekend I spoke with the midday personality at Chicago's newest radio station (Fresh FM), Lisa Greene. We talked about the new radio station, her previous stops on the radio dial, and the passing of her friend Mark Sullivan. Coming this weekend, WLS Radio's Dobie Maxwell.

Suburban Man: The Oscars through the eyes of a 12-year-old

By Rick Kaempfer





I never miss the Academy Awards even if I haven’t seen a single one of the movies up for best picture. This year, I believe, marked the third straight year that I hadn't seen any of them. I’m sure they were all fine films, but well, we don’t get out much.

Nevertheless, I enjoyed watching the show with my oldest son Tommy. It was fun watching an event like this through the eyes of someone who doesn’t have any of the pop culture reference points I do.

John Travolta? Yawn. Steven Spielberg? Yawn. Jack Nicholson? Yawn.

Tom Hanks? “Hey, that’s the voice of Woody!”

Owen Wilson? “Hey, that’s the voice of Lightning McQueen!”

Miley Cyrus? “Hey, that’s Hannah Montana.”

The categories that didn’t interest me at all were his favorites. Achievement in sound? Now you’re talkin’. Best Special Effects? Whoa, cool. Best Animated feature? He actually yelled “SWEET!” when Ratatouille was announced as the winner.

He loved the songs. He loved the short film categories. He loved the technical categories. During the screenwriting categories he looked at me and nodded toward the TV set. It was a “Hey Dad, that’s your category, nod.” It was cute. He doesn’t realize the difference between a writer and an Academy Award winning screenwriter. It’s all the same thing, right?

But I thought we had our biggest bonding moment when the Honorary Oscar was awarded to Robert Boyle. He was so old he had to be helped to the podium.

“See that guy right there, Tommy?” I said. “They said he was 98 years old. That means he was born in 1909 or 1910.”

“Yeah, so?” Tommy said.

“That means he was born after the Cubs last won the World Series.”

That put a face on it for him. Maybe, just maybe, he is beginning to understand his father’s pain.

Monday Musings

Every Monday stop by for jokes, links to stories you might have missed, amusing photos and video, and more. Contributions and suggestions are welcome and encouraged. Click on the "Email Me" link on the right to contribute.



Joke of the Week: Contributed by "B"

Sometimes in life it's comes down to a simple decision. Should we get a dog?










Or should we have kids?










I understand that some people choose to have neither. I wonder why?





Stories you might have missed

1. Washington state detectives say man asked friend to shoot him in the arm so he could skip work
(And you thought you hated your boss.)


2. Judge orders Re-Do on Barry Bonds Indictment
(Why do I have a feeling that Barry is going to walk?)

3. Baby falls through train toilet, lands on the tracks, and survives
(Some people can claim they were born on the wrong side of the tracks. How many can claim they were born "on" the tracks.)

4. Boy George Denies Handcuffing Male Escort to Wall
(Although he does admit to singing "Do you really want to hurt me. Do you really want to make me cry?")

5. A $25 bottle of mini-bar water
(I wish this was available before I wrote my book. I brainstormed for hours about the most needlessly expensive mini-bar items before settling on "cashews." If you've got $everance, check chapter 9, page 64.)






Video of the week:

My boys and I watched this live on February 20th. Maybe you did too. Here's a time-lapse video of the lunar eclipse.






Picture of the week: Contributed by "T". In honor of election day tomorrow in Texas and Ohio. Do you think Bill is ready for this campaign to end? "A picture is worth a thousand words."















Reader Response




Regarding Monday Musings

"I don't know if you've gotten any feedback on this new Monday feature, but I really like the multi-media presentation. It's a good combination of your two features from last year (Jokes, This Week News & Views)."
--P


Regarding "Just One Bad Century" merchandise

"Hi Rick,
Just wanted to drop you a line and let you know that Just One Bad Century recently won an award for Best Cubs Merchandise/Clothing Site in our inaugural Best Cubs Website Awards, or "The Strodes" as we like to call them.
Congrats,
Andrew Figgins"


Regarding "Chicago Radio Spotlight: John Calhoun"

"I always wondered what he looked like and his picture cracked me up with his big laughing smile. I also liked the links to the Karen Hand & Catherine Johns stories."
--T






323 days until we get a new president.

Chicago Radio Spotlight: Lisa Greene

Lisa Greene is the midday personality on WCFS-Chicago, 105.9 FM.




COMPLETE RADIO-OGRAPHY

1992-1994: News anchor/DJ/Production director, WIUS/Bloomington, IN
1994/95: Fill-in personality, WLUW/Chicago
Aug 93-Dec 93: Continuity assistant, WFIU (NPR Bloomington)

Oct 94-Dec 94: Music research, Q101
Jan 95-Dec 96: Traffic/news reporter, Metro Traffic Chicago
Jan 96-Aug 96: PT personality, WXLC
Aug 96-Dec 96: PT personality, WMYX/Milwaukee

Jan 97-Jun 97: Evening personality, WQLH/Green Bay
Jul 97-Dec 98: Evening personality/Music Coordinator, WPNT/Milwaukee
Dec 98-Sep 99: APD/MD/Middays, WMXB/Richmond
Sep 99-Dec 99: PT personality, WWZZ/Washington, DC
Jun 00-Jan 01: PT feature host/Larry Lujack prod. asst, WUBT/Chicago

Jan 01-Jun 06: News/traffic anchor/co-host, Shadow Broadcast Services
Apr 01-pres: PT feature host (Oldies)/producer (Jack-FM), WJMK/Chicago
Jun 06-Feb 07: PT personality, WILV/Chicago
Feb 07-pres: Midday personality, WCFS/Chicago



Rick: First of all, congrats on the new gig at "Fresh FM." I know this was all a very secretive hiring process. How long had you been talking with Fresh, and how did it all play out?

Lisa: Thank you! It's all very exciting. Kind of a funny beginning for me: It all started last November when I bumped into (my former WJMK GM/current Fresh GM) Dave Robbins--literally. It was pretty clear at the time that WCKG was going to flip to some kind of AC format. Though I loved working part-time at Love-FM, I wanted to get back to jocking full-time, and got my package ready. The day after I put it together, they flipped to the "The New Fresh 105.9."

The music was GREAT! Right up the alley of someone in my age group, and similar to formats I had worked in in the past, so it was something that I clearly was appropriate for. Since I still work for CBS on the 9th floor at WJMK, I walked my package upstairs to drop it off for Dave, instead of risking delays from the glorious Chicago mail system! Dave wasn't in so I left it on his desk and headed out toward the elevator.

As I walked, I heard voices around the corner but it was a blind spot. It turned out to be Dave and a sales guy; we practically crashed, but when he saw me, he had his typical huge smile on his face and hugged me! Can't ask for a better reception than that from a former manager! We were laughing and he asked who I was visiting up there. When I told him I left a demo package for *him*, he said great, that he wanted to talk to me about that--another good sign!

As we caught up, he mentioned some of their initial plans for putting jocks on, which was still a while away, and said he'd put me in touch with Mike (Peterson, Fresh and US99 PD). There was a little phone tag, of course, as it was holiday time and I later learned Mike's wife had given birth to their third baby just then! Hectic time for him. We had a good meeting, I auditioned around Christmas, and though there were some corporate delays mixed in, it was good news from there! It's been a relatively smooth process and will be a great place to work. Dave has a great ability to create a positive working environment, and Mike has been so supportive in getting Mike LeBaron and me all set every step of the way to do our jobs individually, and getting the all departments working as a team.

Rick: You've been a music director during your radio career, and you've worked at nearly every music station in Chicago in some capacity, which may make you uniquely qualified to answer this question. How would you describe the music being played at Fresh Fm, compared to it's competitors in town?

Lisa: You know that old commercial, "This isn't your father's Oldsmobile?" I think of it that way: "This isn't your parents' soft music station." "Today's Soft Music, The New Fresh 105.9" is imaged to be familiar and pleasant, though you'll notice not all the songs can be called "soft," individually! It's an interesting comparison to twenty-some years ago, when 35-54-aged people were having kids and working in offices: stations like WLIT here became popular and established the traditional Adult Contemporary (AC) sound, but artists like Barry Manilow, James Taylor, Streisand, Celine Dion, etc., were contemporary for those listeners.

Over time into the '90s, as you know, traditional AC's spun off into Modern AC thanks to Modern Rock radio, and Hot AC thanks to pop-leaning stations. Traditional AC's maintained the "lite" label, and type of "easy listening" is still how the heritage AC presents itself, today. So now, twenty years later, when people my age are card-carrying adults, working and/or with kids, it's natural to be drawn to styles of music from their college or early-adult years and today, because they grew up with more musical choices and it's all contemporary to them. Even I was surprised when I started hearing songs that are heavy on guitar by Lenny Kravitz or Kelly Clarkson after the launch, here on a station with "soft" in the slogan. But the fact of the matter is, people of my age group grew up with more musical choices, and no one I know in my demo talks about an "easy listening" preference these days!

My take is that "soft"="familiar" here. For the average 30- or 40-something mom driving her kids around, it's obviously recognizable as NOT thumpy like a dance station, not loud like a rock station, doesn't try to be too-cool-for-the-room like a Modern AC. What it IS, is familiar music--all hits--with pleasant imaging, and content and personalities which relate to their lifestyle. People in my demo are digging it.

Rick: My guess is that you are right smack in the middle of the target demo. What do you think Fresh needs to do to get women to start listening to a station that had been programming to a male audience for the past twenty years?

Lisa: I don't know that they have to do anything differently than they're already doing, for now. The TV spots started running immediately after the launch, which even existing stations run a few times a year in order to create awareness. Billboards are up; typical stuff. However, you're correct about the demo: I'm 36, and naturally I have lots of friends and family of similar age. Some are single, married with kids, or divorced, but I've heard from nearly all of them between November and now, telling me they've just...found Fresh 105.9.

Honestly, I think part of it is that we're a nation of button-punchers when it comes to, for example, listening to the radio while driving around in the car. If you hit that "seek" button and land on a station that plays enjoyable tunes from the '90s that were contemporary during your early adult years, plus similar female-friendly songs from recent years and today, you're going to stay there. I'm hearing, "I've added it on my pre-sets!" a lot. Much of the feedback I've gotten is from women outside the industry who didn't know the male-targeted WCKG Talk format was even there. They skipped right over it and have found a station they enjoy, now. The rest is happening by word of mouth.

Rick: As of right now, you and Mike LeBaron are the only two live voices on the air at Fresh FM. Did you know each other before you started there? Is it a little odd signing off and not having a live voice on the air after you?

Lisa: I have heard Mike LeBaron (photo) on the air in the market for a long time, but no, we had never crossed paths til we started at Fresh. Lots of my colleagues down the hall at the Mix have asked me recently to send him congratulations, and have said what a talented, great guy he is--and he is! I want to say he's been kicking around the market as a part-time jock longer than I have, so we're both well-prepared and excited for this opportunity.

Is it odd signing off without a live voice after me? Not really. Back when I was doing the "Saturday Night Dance Party" at WJMK, after my first year, you were there and might remember that they eliminated overnight jock positions. I had to sign off by saying "see you next week" and flip it to automation, which was a bummer after Doug Johnson came on after me for a year. I once had another PD elsewhere who decided we should not formally sign off or introduce the next jock at the end of our show. No disrespect to that PD; I like him and when the PD asks you to do something, you just do it. But it felt weirder to me to just leave without introducing the next person when there's a full staff of jocks than it feels when there's no one to introduce. It's my understanding that there will be an afternoon driver at Fresh in due time, though!

Rick: Before you started at Fresh you were working at Love-FM. I know you were close to Mark Sullivan, who tragically passed away a few months ago. I thought you wrote a beautiful tribute to him on your blog. How would you describe Mark to those of us who never got to know him?

Lisa: Thank you. He was a pain in my ass!! But you know, in a fun way. Those who read the blog would get a more accurate picture because I needed to get it out of my system, there were important stories to share, and I could be more detailed. We were determined to be pains in each other's asses, ribbing each other all the time--you know: friends.

I would not claim to be so close to him as his childhood buddies or anything, but we had a lot in common. From interests (yoga, music, radio), to lifestyles (single, from Chicago, close in age, got let go from radio job and lived back with parents before getting back on our feet with gigs here), to personality traits (ambitious, a sensitive side, compatible senses of humor, and yes, compatible egos, too). I hadn't given it much thought in those terms until last Fall when he was sick and on all of our minds constantly. We had a lot to talk about. I think we saw a little of ourselves in each other. We always talked about getting together outside of work, but radio breeds opposite schedules, so it never happened, and I'm very sad for that.

Mark (photo) was a good guy, very talented jock and musician, made sure the people special to him knew it. Sometimes he talked about his lifelong condition, sometimes he didn't, but imagine what it must have been like, even as a young child, to have a bunch of surgeries and know you might not make it very long. His mother told me 40 years was a gift and that he had cheated death three times before, so they had faith he would recover this time, too. He made an effort to spread smiles and to do what made him happy most of the time. Wouldn't you? I was psyched to give him the ol' teaser about the process moving along with Fresh, in December. I know he'd be very happy for me, as I was for him, about getting full-time here at home. I told him last month when it was officially announced. I like to think he heard me.

Rick: Let's talk about some of your previous stops on the radio dial in Chicago. I mentioned that you had been working at Love-FM (WILV 100.3)
which is a rhythmic oldies station, but you've also worked at WJMK when it was an oldies station, and WUBT ("The Beat") when it was a rhythmic
oldies station. How were each of those stations the same or different from each other?

Lisa: Well, all of those stations hired me and the rest of their airstaff for our CHR backgrounds, in terms of delivery. The Beat was called "Jammin' Oldies," which essentially was Urban Oldies. So, musically, very Motown- and disco-based, and played artists like Wilson Pickett, Prince, Irene Cara, Bee Gees, and the Time to fill it in. It was a fun station but they flipped to Kiss 103.5 after I was there seven months, and the canned everyone despite being initially hired for our CHR backgrounds! Clean slate, I guess.

WJMK's regular format, as you know, played traditional Oldies, including the Beatles, Beach Boys, Rolling Stones, the usual Motown stuff. It was intended to remind folks who grew up in the 60's of how their favorite Top 40 station sounded at the time. When I was hired, Kevin Robinson wanted a '70s party feature, and heard me adapt to it well on the Beat. (Photo: Lisa with WJMK legend Dick Biondi) So, on my show, I got to play some of the traditional artists that had songs in that decade, plus the disco stuff I played on the Beat, plus cool novelty tunes by the Partridge Family and the Osmonds, which always, personally, make me smile. It morphed into the "Saturday Night Dance Party," so away went some of the novelty tunes and in came more soul music, but I loved that too. I rocked out in the studio in between playing ringmaster, taking phone calls from all over Chicagoland. It was only part-time but was one of the best gigs I ever had!

Love-FM was Motown/disco/soul-based for a while as well, but in recent months scattered some '80s and '90s songs, like "Safety Dance" and artists like Duran Duran, Toni Basil, and even Rick Springfield. All party-ish hit songs that people know and can sing along to. They've struck a good, energy-filled balance, now. All were enjoyable versions of the format to work in.


Rick: You've also had a long stint at Shadow Traffic. People that work at Shadow end up working on just about every station in town. What are some of your fondest moments with Shadow, and what shows were the most fun for you?

Lisa: Oh...I was there for 5 1/2 years, so there are a lot of them! You're thrown into a variety of situations there, so it's a great opportunity to diversify your skills and learn to play off of a talk host, rock host, and other formats. My favorite times include doing Seaver's Afternoon Drive traffic on the Loop for my first couple of years. The PD didn't want us to talk long, so it was good training to get some good, quick rock-friendly banter and the report in, and get back to the music. Seaver's a good guy who can do a rap or cross-talk concisely, while sounding like Mr. Cool at the same time, so you just follow that lead. The playlist rocked back then, so mostly he teased me off the air about singing along in cue before he turned my mic on!


Then there were the days when I frequently filled in on Midday traffic with Steve Cochran (Photo). Oh, man--definitely good times! Everything he says is funny! I think he found that I tapped into his timing and goofy personality well, so he had me contribute quite a bit in conversation and interviews. Another time I was doing WGN traffic on a Saturday morning with the big-voiced Lyle Dean on news. I called him ahead of time to alert him of a scanner report of a naked guy running in an intersection in Palatine, but couldn't confirm it yet. He said to run with the item and follow his lead. When I generically reported "police activity" in Palatine, he matter-of-factly asked, "and, *what* is the activity?" I replied, dryly with a smile, "that would be...a...naked guy running in the street. Details as they become available." He called me off-air and said, "that was SO good!" Maybe you had to hear it, but it was hilarious.

I also loved doing morning traffic and news with my buddy, former WRXQ/Joliet PD Rob Creighton. We go back since college so that was pretty loose and fun.

Rick: You are also involved in local theater. On the surface I know it seems like radio and theater are similar--but they're actually totally different. When you're on the radio you have a lot of people listening to you, but you're in a room all by yourself. When you're on stage, there's nowhere to hide. How has radio helped your theater work, and vice versa?

Lisa: Interesting question. I feel they're mainly different in venue, and method or structure of the entertainment: in theatre, you're on stage with a group of people, playing other people, in front of an audience of limited size, and you don't interact with the audience. In radio, you're in a studio alone, talking to hundreds of thousands of people (in Chicago), who feel like you're individually their companion, playing a version of yourself. They are pretty similar, in that the performers all have creative instincts, urges, and disciplines, want to entertain and contribute to the audience's day, and connect in some kind of meaningful way, however brief.

Hm...how have my radio and theatre experiences contributed to each other? Well, by the time I hit college and decided on radio as a path, I found that my voice lessons as a kid helped me warm up and get the breath and the sound out; most people don't think about that when they're listening to the radio, or thinking of pursuing a broadcast career! I once had a music teacher who said, "your body is your instrument." It's true in radio, absolutely. Both activities contribute to each other and to me as a person because--lots of people are shocked by this--but as a kid I was very shy for a long time, and still can be, today. I made a conscious decision as a teenager to literally get up there and try to find some way to express myself. I was nervous and sucked for a while, but found my way. Whether it's going on the air, hosting a bar gig, or dressing up like a 90-year-old dead woman on stage (photo), I realized in recent years that everything I do in those areas is to kind of..conquer the fear and prove to myself that I can do it!

Rick: Let's end this with a little "Fresh" quiz. If you can answer all of these questions successfully, we'll officially sanction you as a "Fresh" employee.

Lisa: OK, shoot.

Rick: Why would Will Smith be your favorite TV star?

Lisa: Oh my. Well, he was the FRESH Prince, of course!

Rick: Why did teenage boys get slapped by teenage girls in the 1950s?

Lisa: They were FRESH!

Rick: Why is Kool n the Gang your favorite artist?

Lisa: Haha. Um...could it be because they sing a song called, "FRESH?"

Rick: How would you describe your breath after eating a tic tac?

Lisa: Oh, Rick. It's minty!! That's my final answer.

Rick: Why did my mother used to threaten to wash my mouth out with soap?

Lisa: "How you do say 'stop being so FRESH or I'll tighten your lederhosen!' in German?"


Rick: Nicely done. Thanks for doing this, and best of luck with the new gig.

Lisa: Thank you!