Brent Petersen graduated from the University of Illinois - Urbana with a degree in Business Administration. He worked in broadcasting for 15 years including several as Program Director for The Edge, The Beat and The Hawk in Providence, Rhode Island. Currently, Brent is Operations Manager for a fixed wireless Internet Service Provider. That's the former mayor of Providence in the picture with him, Buddy Cianci
Why are you a vegetarian?
By Brent Petersen
Why are you a vegetarian?
I get that question at least once a week (normally, people leave out the implied “Freak” at the end of the question). Multiply that by 52 weeks a year times 15 years times family members who ask every time they see me and the need for a snappy answer is apparent. The best one I have heard is “I am not a vegetarian because I love animals, I am vegetarian because I hate plants.” So, I have appropriated that as my standard response and it generally either disarms people and makes them laugh (good) or shuts them up (better).
The real story is a heartbreaking tale of romance and adventure set in the bustling metropolis of Peoria, Illinois. I lived in Peoria in the late 80’s. Back then Peoria was not the glamour capital it is today. In 1988, Peoria had none of the amenities it has today like a river walk, floating casino, arena football team or Hooter’s. Back then, Peoria was the butt of jokes (What do you call a garbage dump between two rivers? Peoria) and was struggling to bounce back from the Reagan recession. Peoria really wasn’t any different from hundreds of small and mid sized industrial cities in the Midwest. It just had the double curse of being reliant on agriculture (ask Willie Nelson how well farmers did in the 80’s) and manufacturing.
Peoria fun fact: Grandview Drive, which Teddy Roosevelt is said to have called the "world's most beautiful drive", runs through Peoria and Peoria Heights. Radio and TV station WMBD used first letters of each word of that phrase for their call letters.
Peoria is the world headquarters for Caterpillar. In the early 80’s massive layoffs at Cat nearly doomed the city. By the time I got there in 1988, jobs were still scarce, unemployment was still high and you could still occasionally spot the stray “Will the last person to leave Peoria please turn out the lights” bumper sticker on a late model Ford.
Peoria fun fact: both Jack Brickhouse and Dan Fogelberg were from Peoria.
Now back to our story. I rented the top floor of a farm house in Peoria. The old farmer who owned the place had a sizable plot of land where he grew soy beans (mmmmmm tofu) and corn. He also kept some cows on the property to remind him of his dad (I swear that’s what he told me). One hot, muggy summer day (are there any other kind in central Illinois) one of cows came trotting up the driveway as I was cooking up a batch of Sloppy Joes for dinner. He looks up to me with those big cow eyes. Mooooo. I look at him and then down into the pan. I look back up to him and he’s still looking at me. Sorry, buddy. I dumped the ground flesh of my new friend’s brother in the garbage.
It wasn’t easy to completely break the meat habit. In fact, it took a few years to gradually remove red meat, chicken, pork and fish from my diet. The last time I remember knowingly consuming animal flesh was shortly after moving to Rhode Island in the early 90s. It was a shellfish call a Quahog. If you don’t know what a Quahog is, you’re not from Rhode Island and you’re not missing much. Although, the shellfishermen who gather Quahogs (Quahoggers) are the source of much local amusement in Rhode Island. Think of Jeff Foxworthy with a bad Boston accent. “You might be a Quahogger if you have a Quahog rake for regular days and a Quahog rake for holidays.” Guess you would need to know what a Quahog is to get it.
Rhode Island fun fact: The world's largest bug is on the roof of New England Pest Control in Providence. It's a big blue termite, 58 feet long and 928 times actual termite size.
Anyway, in the last 15 years the way our society views vegetarians and what it is like to be a vegetarian has changed greatly. I can’t imagine what it was like in the 60’s or 70’s. The only vegetarians were hippies and the only things available to eat were granola and twigs and berries (mmmm twigs and berries). Today, there are vegetarian gourmet restaurants that will be glad to charge you the same price for a grilled portabella mushroom as you pay for a prime rib at Morton’s.
Walk down the health food aisle of any mega mart and you will be bombarded with meatless products. The names show you how witty vegetarians are: Not Dogs, Fakin Bacon and Tofurky are a few of the products whose names will have you laughing all the way to the checkout line. I don’t eat a lot of these products, but people think that I am an expert on veggie burgers and the like so they will often ask me what I think of them and if they taste like meat.
So, to answer your questions: I like most of these fake meat dishes, but they are like junk food as far as fat and nutrition. If you are expecting to lose weight and suddenly become the most desirable person on the planet, just know that Richard Gere is a vegetarian, but so is Danny DeVito.
As for the question of tasting like meat. I think so. Then again, I haven’t had a hamburger in over 15 years, so I might tell you that handful of sawdust bound together with wet newspaper tastes like sirloin. It’s kind of like asking the Pope if he’s a leg or butt man.
There’s your primer on why I’m a vegetarian. As for the next most asked question: Do you mind if I eat meat? No, go right ahead. I’m sure the hormones and feces that you get mixed with the meat will taste delightful. Dig in.
If you'd like to read my previous guest bloggers, click here: http://rickkaempferguestblogger.blogspot.com
