Monday, June 11, 2007

Jokes for a Monday Morning

1. Things a father will never say. (Contributed by "D")

"Can you turn up that music?"

"Go ahead and take my truck. Here's 50 bucks for gas."

"I LOVE your tattoo. We should both get new ones."

"Here, you take the remote."

2. Gift suggestions for Father's Day. (Contributed by "T")

Get him a book...

Get him a computer...

3. The next "Survivor" show. Contributed by "H"

6 men will be dropped on an island with 1 van and 4 kids for 6 weeks.

Each kid plays 2 sports and either takes music or dance classes and there is no access to fast food.

Each man must take care of his 4 kids, keep his assigned home clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, etc.

The men only have access to TV when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

There is only 1 TV between them and no remote.

The men must shave their legs and wear make-up daily, which they must apply themselves either while driving or while making 4 lunches.

They must attend weekly PTA meetings, clean up after their sick children at 3:00 AM, make an Indian hut model with 6 toothpicks, a tortilla, and 1 marker.

They must get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.

The kids get to vote them off based on performance.

The winner gets to go back to work.