Lifestyle Overhaul

Still reeling from the World Health Organization's report yesterday about processed meats causing cancer. I'm urging the scientific community to come up with a "bacon patch" while I work on putting together a twelve-step program. "Hi, I'm Rick and I'm a salami-aholic."

The local Jewel is going to wonder why in the world they have two and a half extra pounds of salami at the end of every week. My boys aren't speaking to me right now.