Tuesday, October 04, 2016
Dick Enberg's Retirement
I'll never forget that he was the man behind the microphone during the Bears Superbowl XX win.
He was also the play by play man for the San Diego Padres, and this was his final farewell.
Monday, October 03, 2016
Trump's Taxes
He lost nearly a billion dollars on paper, but personally earned millions while stiffing the people who loaned money to him, the people who invested in him, the people who worked for him, and the United States government.
Or as Rudy Guliani called him on television yesterday: A genius.
The Illini
The Fighting Ilini are ranked 92nd in the latest college football poll. Didn't know they ranked anyone below the top 25. Kind of wish I never found that out.
Thanks Vin
Vin Scully's final message as he signs off on his final broadcast. pic.twitter.com/N2dTeWdQmJ
— Arash Markazi (@ArashMarkazi) October 2, 2016
Who Will Win the World Series?
He also surveyed the general managers in MLB and asked them who they thought would win it.
American League Favorite (or Most-Feared Team)
Red Sox 16
Rangers 7
Blue Jays 2
National League Favorite (or Most-Feared Team)
Cubs 13
Dodgers 10
Nationals 2
World Series Winner
Cubs 7
Red Sox 6
Dodgers 4
Rangers 4
There's a lot of history going against the Cubs. The team with the best record hasn't won it this decade. They will be facing a team with a dominant ace (in the first round it will be either Madison Bumgardner or Noah Syndegaard). The best of five series is unforgiving and the best team often doesn't win. Even if they win the first series, they'll probably face Clayton Kershaw, another dominant ace. They haven't won it in 108 years and have a ton of pressure on them.
But...they are the best team in baseball. They are the team to beat. They are healthy and rested. They are managed by someone who knows how to keep them relaxed.
For the first time in my life it isn't crazy to believe the Cubs will in it all.
I have tickets for NLCS Game 7, a game that may or not ever happen. And I'll be watching or listening to the rest of the games just like anyone else. No lucky shirts. No praying. I realize that nothing I say, write or do will have any impact on whether or not they win.
So...I'm just going to try and enjoy it for once
Can't wait for Friday night.
Steve & Johnnie
My latest Illinois Entertainer column was posted over the weekend. This month I interviewed former WGN Radio overnight stars Steve King and Johnnie Putman about their new Les Paul book.
You can read it here.
Bobby Skafish's Book Launch Party
Star-studded event Friday night at Toon's Bar & Grill in Chicago. Great time was had by one and all. Bobby Skafish set the all-time Eckhartz Press record--selling out all of our books! Congrats to Bobby. (Don't worry, there are plenty more books on the way!)
Bobby and Amy Jacobsen (WIND-AM)
Some of my favorite collaborators--Brendan Sullivan (The Living Wills), David Stern (Minutia Men), and Stan Lawrence (Ebony & Ivory)
Cara Carriveau and Bobby Skafish
Emily Skafish, Dane Placko (WFLD-TV), David Stern & Bobby Skafish
Greg Solk (former Loop/Drive executive), Bobby Skafish, Me, and Johnny Mars (WXRT)
Bobby signs a book for former WDRV Program Director Patty Martin
Mike Tomano (WIVR) and Bobby Skafish
Bobby and Amy Jacobsen (WIND-AM)
Some of my favorite collaborators--Brendan Sullivan (The Living Wills), David Stern (Minutia Men), and Stan Lawrence (Ebony & Ivory)
Cara Carriveau and Bobby Skafish
Emily Skafish, Dane Placko (WFLD-TV), David Stern & Bobby Skafish
Greg Solk (former Loop/Drive executive), Bobby Skafish, Me, and Johnny Mars (WXRT)
Bobby signs a book for former WDRV Program Director Patty Martin
Mike Tomano (WIVR) and Bobby Skafish
Friday, September 30, 2016
USA Today Makes First Ever Presidential Endorsement
USA Today has been around for more than 30 years, and in that time they have never endorsed a presidential candidate. This year they felt they had no choice...
This is such a "duh" statement, but I still applaud USA Today for making it. Every American in their heart and in their gut knows that Donald Trump shouldn't get anywhere near the White House. I've heard many rationalizations from my Republican friends, but I can see it in their eyes. They know the truth.
In the 34-year history of USA TODAY, the Editorial Board has never taken sides in the presidential race. Instead, we’ve expressed opinions about the major issues and haven’t presumed to tell our readers, who have a variety of priorities and values, which choice is best for them. Because every presidential race is different, we revisit our no-endorsement policy every four years. We’ve never seen reason to alter our approach. Until now.
This year, the choice isn’t between two capable major party nominees who happen to have significant ideological differences. This year, one of the candidates — Republican nominee Donald Trump — is, by unanimous consensus of the Editorial Board, unfit for the presidency.
This is such a "duh" statement, but I still applaud USA Today for making it. Every American in their heart and in their gut knows that Donald Trump shouldn't get anywhere near the White House. I've heard many rationalizations from my Republican friends, but I can see it in their eyes. They know the truth.
The Philippines
Don't know if you've been following the news in Asia, but the president of the Philippines has gone completely over the edge. From this morning's Washington Post...
Just so you know, Rodrigo, Hitler isn't considered a role model.
And we thought the leader of North Korea was nuts.
Philippines President Rodrigo Duterte on Friday compared his campaign to kill criminals to the Holocaust, saying he would like to "slaughter" millions of addicts just like Adolf hitler "massacred" millions of Jewish people.
"Hitler massacred three million Jews. Now, there are 3 million drug addicts. ... I'd be happy to slaughter them," he told reporters early Friday, according to GMA News.
"You know my victims, I would like to be, all criminals, to finish the problem of my country and save the next generation from perdition," he said.
Just so you know, Rodrigo, Hitler isn't considered a role model.
And we thought the leader of North Korea was nuts.
Tim Clue on Patty & the Stump
Eckhartz Press author Tim Clue (half of Manton Clue) discusses his book "Patty & The Stump"...
Thursday, September 29, 2016
Minutia Men, Episode 22
EP22 – Rick and Dave discuss a debate faux pas worthy of Jenkins, Stiff Bull coffee, a perfect example of Dave’s black-hearted Cubs hate, and Rick’s brush with Larry King.
Listen to it here.
Wednesday, September 28, 2016
Arizona Republic Endorses Clinton
Why is this a big deal? The newspaper was founded in 1890 and has NEVER endorsed a Democrat before.
They write...
They write...
The 2016 Republican candidate is not conservative and he is not qualified. That’s why, for the first time in our history, The Arizona Republic will support a Democrat for president...
In a nation with an increasingly diverse population, Trump offers a recipe for permanent civil discord. In a global economy, he offers protectionism and a false promise to bring back jobs that no longer exist.
Top Tweeted Moments During Debate
Top 3 Tweeted Moments of the first US presidential debate: pic.twitter.com/35l5PhEw4y
— Twitter Government (@gov) September 27, 2016
That "I have a good temperament" line is the single most ridiculous moment in debate history. He had just screeched an incoherent defense of a provable lie (his support of the Iraq War) with his temples throbbing and his arms waving. He was screaming into the microphone. Then he pivoted to "I have a good temperament."
Classic.
Tuesday, September 27, 2016
Around the Publishing World (September 27)
1. Six Tips for Writing a Science Fiction Novel
The tips are courtesy of science fiction author K. Eason via Writer's Digest.
2. The Nook is on Life Support
There are many reasons this is true, but here are a few you might not have heard. From the blog, The Passive Voice
3. 65 Authors Share their tips for new writers
Some great stuff here.
4. No, the printed book is not dead!
It's important to keep this in mind, despite the hype. From the New York Times.
5. Writing errors even published authors make
You'd be shocked. It'll make you feel better.
6. New genre: Adult Children's Book?
This is just the latest example, and it comes from our publishing company Eckhartz Press. It also comes with a video...
7. Bobby Skafish's "We Have Company" now available via Eckhartz Press
Our latest book is a great read for anyone who loves rock and roll...
Last Night's Truly Special Moment
It had absolutely nothing to do with the debate...
.@FlashGJr was mentioned more than 340K times on Twitter after his emotional home run.https://t.co/n8HsRniRxD
— MLB Social (@MLBsocial) September 27, 2016
Who Won Debate?
CNN had a focus group of undecideds in Florida. Clinton won big.
Politico did a poll of insider experts in all the swing states. 80% of them thought Hillary won big.
But at the Chicago Tribune, John Kass has clearly lost his mind. He thinks it was a great night for Trump.
He was clearly watching something else.
100!
While Hillary and Donald were debatin', the Cubs were rakin'.
Kyle Hendricks' ERA is now below 2 (1.99), Kris Bryant got his 100th RBI, Javier Baez hit a grand slam, and the Cubs won their 100th game of the season.
Kyle Hendricks' ERA is now below 2 (1.99), Kris Bryant got his 100th RBI, Javier Baez hit a grand slam, and the Cubs won their 100th game of the season.
Chicago Radio Ratings
From this morning's NOW Newsletter...
Chicago shows you Cubs power – the power of having this special season on CBS-owned sports “Score” WSCR. The station jumps to fifth place overall, 4.0-3.7-4.5, and it’s second at night. Chris Huff digs way back for a higher share on the 670 frequency, and it was in the far-off diary days of Winter 1991, when 670 was WMAQ. There’s a tie at the #1 spot between CBS news WBBM (5.8-6.1-6.0) and iHeart’s urban AC “V103” WVAZ (5.6-6.0-6.0). ’BBM is #1 mornings and middays, while V103 is #1 afternoons, nights and weekends. Third total-week is Hubbard hot AC “Mix” WTMX (4.9-5.5-5.2, and second in mornings with Eric & Kathy). Fourth is iHeart’s top 40 “Kiss 103.5” WKSC (4.6-4.5-4.8). That’s its best topline since March 2012, and it’s second in afternoon drive. Hubbard’s classic rock “Drive” WDRV rises to its best number in exactly two years (3.6-3.6-3.8) – and it’s third, middays. Nice performance by Cumulus classic hits WLS-FM (3.2-3.0-3.6, and fourth in middays). The country competitors are within a tenth of a share – CBS’s recently-revamped “US 99” WUSN (3.0-2.9-3.8) versus iHeart’s “Big” WEBG (2.4-2.5-2.7). An off-book for Cumulus-managed/Emmis-owned alternative WKQX (2.8-2.6-2.3), and an up-book for easy oldies WRME. It’s up 1.8-2.0-2.3, heard on the audio of a low power Channel 6 TV station leased by Weigel. WRME beats CBS classic hits WJMK in middays. For the full week, WJMK has a nearly 2-to-1 lead over WRME in cume (about 1.325 million compared to about 705,000). Not-for-profit Window to the World operates classical WFMT as a commercial operation (it’s even got a “.com” website). WFMT’s up to its largest share since March 2012 (1.5-1.4-1.6). CHR “Kiss” holds the cume lead at about 2.6 million.
Monday, September 26, 2016
Bobby Skafish on WGN-TV
Bobby Skafish went over to the WGN-TV studios this morning on the day his book is officially released, and had a great conversation with Larry & Robin about some of the stories in "We Have Company: Four Decades of Rock and Roll Encounters".
Most people are a little nervous about doing a television interview like this, but Bobby was cool as a cucumber. He rolled with the discussion, and laid a few rock and roll stories on the morning crew.
Waiting in the wings...
Just before the interview began...
Watch the entire segment here.
After the interview, Bobby was asked to stay for another segment. Felt a little bit like the old days when Johnny Carson called the comedian over to the couch after his routine. Bobby played a part in a game to match rock and roll tattoos with mugshots.
If you want an autographed copy of Bobby's book, he'll be making his first appearance at the book launch/open house this Friday night at Toons Bar & Grill, 3857 N. Southport in Chicago, from 5-9pm. Everyone is welcome. It's sure to be a star-studded affair. See you there!
Most people are a little nervous about doing a television interview like this, but Bobby was cool as a cucumber. He rolled with the discussion, and laid a few rock and roll stories on the morning crew.
Waiting in the wings...
Just before the interview began...
Watch the entire segment here.
After the interview, Bobby was asked to stay for another segment. Felt a little bit like the old days when Johnny Carson called the comedian over to the couch after his routine. Bobby played a part in a game to match rock and roll tattoos with mugshots.
If you want an autographed copy of Bobby's book, he'll be making his first appearance at the book launch/open house this Friday night at Toons Bar & Grill, 3857 N. Southport in Chicago, from 5-9pm. Everyone is welcome. It's sure to be a star-studded affair. See you there!
WGN-TV Morning News
Tune in to the WGN-TV Morning News this morning during the 9am hour TODAY and see Eckhartz Press author (and radio legend) Bobby Skafish bantering with the morning crew about Bobby's great new book "We Have Company: Four Decades of Rock and Roll Encounters" on it's official release date! It's sure to be a good time.
Amy Landecker
Another interview with John's youngest daughter Amy, one of the stars of the megahit "Transparent".
She really does a great job in these interviews. Her secret is her honesty. There's nothing fake about Amy.
Trump and the Germans
I get a big kick out of this Twitter user (below). He (or she) translates Donald Trump's quotes into the original German. (Get it?)
Speaking of the Donald and the Germans.
His actual German relatives want nothing to do with him.
Trump quotations google-translated into German, a continuing series. pic.twitter.com/7EBnW6DgTg
— southpaw (@nycsouthpaw) September 24, 2016
Speaking of the Donald and the Germans.
His actual German relatives want nothing to do with him.
Friday, September 23, 2016
Steve Clevenger
Until yesterday I only thought of Steve Clevenger as part of the great trade that brought Jake Arietta to Chicago. (It was Scott Feldman and Clevenger for Arietta and Pedro Strop). Turns out there was much more to him than met the eye.
For instance, he's a stone-cold racist. These are his tweets from yesterday...
For instance, he's a stone-cold racist. These are his tweets from yesterday...
Debate Fact Check Cheat Sheet
Wouldn't it be nice if Lester Holt kept it by his side during the debate too?
Letter to the Editor
The Sun Times published this letter to the editor this week...
Look, Tony, I'm a big Cubs fan, and I'm clearly not a Trump fan, but c'mon. The dude's entitled to throw away his money supporting the losing candidate. Now, if it affects our pursuit of a left-handed hitter off the bench, I'm with you.
I’m a Cubs fan. Born and bred. Hardwired into my DNA at conception. But I will not spend another penny of my money on anything remotely associated with the Cubs if the Ricketts family is going to spend that money supporting Donald Trump. How arrogant of the Ricketts family to disrespect the fans and assume that they will flock to the altar like docile sheep regardless of their political views. How blind of the family to not see the ramifications of their action, the repercussions that are sure to follow, the anti Trump rallies outside Wrigley Field during the playoffs when the whole country is watching. Sell the team, Ricketts. Cubs fans deserve better.
Tony Galati, Lemont
Look, Tony, I'm a big Cubs fan, and I'm clearly not a Trump fan, but c'mon. The dude's entitled to throw away his money supporting the losing candidate. Now, if it affects our pursuit of a left-handed hitter off the bench, I'm with you.
Thursday, September 22, 2016
Minutia Men, Episode 21
Listen to it here.
We also discuss the promo picture below. Ah, 1988...
Skunk Free
Today is the first full day of autumn, which makes it official. My dog Ivy just successfully completed her first skunk-free summer ever. And they say you can't teach an old dog new tricks. (Knocking on wood as I write this)...
Cy Young?
Is that the Cy Young Award his son sees?
Now this is philanthropy
They are donating $3 billion over the next ten years to work toward that goal.
That's Billion with a B.
I was going to say something snarky and/or point out how inadequate this makes me feel about my own charitable giving, but you know what? I'm not gonna do that. I'm just gonna tip my cap to this incredible gesture and be thankful.
Say what you want about the business practices of people like Zuckerberg and Bill Gates. No one can ever say to them, "put your money where your mouth is".
Hannity in Trouble at Fox News
Even at Fox News.
Said their spokesperson..."We had no knowledge that Sean Hannity was participating in this, and he will not be doing anything along these lines for the remainder of the election.”
Inside Radio has the full story.
Wednesday, September 21, 2016
Country Medley
I have to say this about the country music industry. They are team players. The biggest stars work with each other, they work with radio, they work with the record companies. They work together to promote their entire genre. Rock and Roll has never had that kind of community spirit. If it did, there's a very good chance it wouldn't be an endangered species today.
Just watch this video. It's amazing...
Just watch this video. It's amazing...
How Big of a Mistake Did WGN Make Getting Rid of Cubs?
The radio station that is currently airing Cubs games is having a record-setting year. From this morning's Inside Radio...
Their long-suffering fans are tuning into WSCR broadcasts in droves and it’s a boon for the station’s coffers. WSCR will earn an estimated $10 million in revenue from Cubs’ broadcasts this year, compared to WGN’s $5.5 million two years ago, according to a report in The Chicago Tribune. The station now ranks in the top 10 in the Chicago market, averaging a 3.8 share Apr.-Sept., according to Nielsen and the Tribune. That’s up from a 2.1 share during the same period a year ago.
Theo's Temper
ESPN Magazine has a whole issue devoted to the Cubs. Among the stories is this one about Theo Epstein. It goes back to his days in Boston...
When Theo is mad, he likes to break stuff. Back in Boston, they all remember one night after a tough loss when he waved around a driver in the office. He set up a ball with the intention of crushing it down a narrow corridor, either into an empty office door or, better yet, shattering a window. With folks crowded around, he gave it a go, and the ball hit a concrete pole, then caromed at an impossible angle ... straight into the forehead of Ben Cherington, the VP of player personnel. They heard the moans first. Blood gushed from the wound. Minutes later, Theo went outside to meet Ben's irate wife, who'd planned on picking her husband up that evening to move stuff to their new house. "Don't be mad" is how Theo opened the conversation. Later, he signed the golf ball and gave it to Ben as a joke.
Tuesday, September 20, 2016
And one of them might not make the postseason roster
#Cubs have four 15-game winners. Hasn't happened in 81 years. https://t.co/u8at077SY5 pic.twitter.com/Y6tFg8Q65D
— Tim Souers (@CubbyBlueDotCom) September 20, 2016
The Most Common Dream
The Washington Post analyzes that common dream today.
My fellow radio folks have a similar dream. Our song is ending, and we have nothing ready to go. No other song. Nothing prepared to say. Nothing within reach to save us. Just had that dream a few weeks ago after not having it for many years. Guess the new podcast is bringing that oldie but goodie back into my bloodstream.
People are not Skittles
I get what Donald Trump Jr. is trying to say with this tweet, but geez. I can tell you who were the second most offended group of people after seeing this tweet (Syrians being first, of course). The makers of Skittles.
This image says it all. Let's end the politically correct agenda that doesn't put America first. #trump2016 pic.twitter.com/9fHwog7ssN
— Donald Trump Jr. (@DonaldJTrumpJr) September 19, 2016
Bears Question
Here's the only Bears question that matters the rest of this season: Who should they take with the first pick in next season's draft?
What is your price?
I know I have two kids in college, but that price won't sway me from selling mine.
Although, it did make me do the mental exercise. If, and I know it's still a big if, but if the Cubs really do make it to the World Series, and if I have two tickets, what is my price? $5000 each? $10,000? Would I be a sell out if I sold them? Would I be fool if I didn't?
I think I'm more likely to be a fool.
Let's hope this moral dilemma actually does present itself. It would be a nice problem to have.
Bobby with Roe and Anna
You can listen to it here.
Next week Bobby makes his television debut on WGN-TV morning news. The book is available for pre-order now, and it officially comes out next week.
Monday, September 19, 2016
Stephen Colbert Goes Incognito at Wrigley
He bought one from Stephen Colbert, who was working incognito as a hot dog vendor.
Colbert spent many years working in Chicago at Second City and certainly knows his way around Wrigley. Can't wait to see this segment on his show.
RIP Charmian Carr
So sad to hear this news. Charmian Carr, who played Liesl in The Sound of Music, has passed away at the age of 73. Below is the story of my brush with her. It's one of my favorite moments from radio career.
When I was growing up, the Sound of Music was a very important film in our house. My father came from Austria and he forced us to watch it so many times that we knew the film by heart. After he died, The Sound of Music reminded us of Dad even more.
I made the mistake of telling John Landecker about this, and he thought it was hilarious that a 30-something straight male loved that movie. He brought me along to an interview with Julie Andrews to embarrass me. He thought I was in love with her--but I confessed after the interview that I was actually in love with the girl who played Liesl, Charmian Carr.
As it turns out, telling that to John was an even bigger mistake.
I figured the odds of running into her were minimal, but wouldn't you know it, she came to Chicago just a few years later to promote a sing-a-long version of "The Sound of Music." When John heard she was coming, he insisted that I book her to appear on the show.
I did. But I knew I was in for it.
He wouldn't tell me what was going on in the days before the interview, but I heard a lot of whispering between John and the other members of the show. Whenever I walked into the room, they shut up. Or they laughed. I was bracing for the worst.
On the morning of the interview, I was unbelievably nervous. John had even been warning the audience about my childhood love of Liesl, and that something truly memorable was about to occur.
She arrived at the studio about fifteen minutes early, so I met her at the door and brought her to the green room. I must say, she was still quite beautiful. I know she's easily fifteen years older than me, and I know how ridiculous this sounds, but I couldn't even bring myself to shake her hand. I had sweaty palms.
I tried to warn her that something was going to happen. I told her that John had been teasing me about my love of the movie, and described our Julie Andrews experience to her. She seemed amused by it all, but I must admit...I had a difficult time maintaining eye contact.
Take a look at those eyes.
When I brought her into the studio, John was nearly bouncing off his seat with excitement. Within seconds, he was handing each of us a script, and explaining to the audience what was about to occur.
He had transcribed the love scene between Liesl and Rolf, and wanted to know if Charmian would recreate that scene live on the air, with me playing the part of Rolf. I don't think I've ever been more embarrassed in my life.
She was obviously a little taken aback by this, but after looking at me, shrugged her shoulders and said "Sure, what the heck."
John cued the music, and boom, we were acting out the scene. I was sitting five feet away from the real Liesl, and she was calling me "Rolf" with love in her voice. I stammered through my first line, which sent John into convulsions, and onto the floor, but it didn't stop Charmian. She was such a good sport about it.
We did the entire scene. For those two or three minutes, she was sixteen going on seventeen, and I was the blond-haired Austrian teenager she was in love with.
Can I confess it now?
It was probably one of my all-time favorite moments in my radio career because it was such a unique and personal experience.
Don't tell that to John, though. It would ruin the moment for him.
How many people have both of these autographs on their "Sound of Music" soundtrack?
John & John
The story of this long-time friendship is told in the pages of "Records Truly Is My Middle Name". Another reunion last night at the Emmy Awards...
The Birth of Sean Kaempfer
When Sean was born on September 19, 2002, I was still the executive producer of the John Records Landecker show on WJMK Radio. Like we did with the birth of my two other sons (Tommy and Johnny), the John Landecker show followed the pregnancy on the air. I even recorded the actual birth on digital audio tape as it was happening, and then called into the radio program with a full report live from the hospital.
His brothers were both born early in the morning (Tommy at 4 AM, Johnny at 2 AM), but Bridget was in labor DURING the show for Sean. I called into the show every hour and gave updates, some of which are referenced in the transcript below. Sean was born less than hour after the show ended that day.
This is the transcript of the call the following morning, September 20, 2002. The show members at that time were John Landecker, Leslie Keiling, and Bonnie Greene.
John: Magic 104.3, 8:14, John Records Landecker along with Leslie Keiling, that's Sister Sledge "We are Family". Rick, our producer, are you there?
Rick: I'm here.
John: You're a brand new dad.
Rick: Yes I am.
John: Bridget are you there?
Bridget: Hello. I'm here.
John: Do you have a radio at the hospital?
Bridget: No. We had one down at labor and delivery, and we were listening. The anesthesiologist thought you were really funny.
Leslie: Oh great.
John: You mean when he called him "Shakes"?
Rick: And a heroin addict, I believe.
John: Ha! So, how long do they let you stay in the hospital these days after delivery?
Bridget: 48 hours, and I'm taking every last second of it.
John: Well you sound good.
Rick: She looks good too.
John: Do you feel good too?
Bridget: Yeah. And we got a little trooper here too.
Leslie: Is the trooper in there with you?
John: No hold on a second, we're not giving anything away here. OK, so Rick. So far you have Tommy...
Rick: He'll be seven next month.
John: And Johnny...
Rick: He's 4 1/2.
John: Now people want to know. Hit it, Vinnie.
(Music: Theme song from "My Three Sons")
John: It would be my three...
Rick: Sons.
John: How big was our boy?
Bridget: 7 pounds, 12 ounces.
John: How long was labor?
Bridget: I'm not exactly sure because when we got here I was already in labor.
Leslie: That's the best way isn't it?
Rick: It really wasn't that long. I think she only had to push about ten times.
Leslie: And then went to the prom.
(Everyone laughs)
John: Let's get to the tape. Now Rick, you taped this yourself?
Rick: I did.
John: Any problems?
Rick: None at all this time. I had the surgical gloves on, and was helping the doctor. I had a leg in one hand, and..
John: Now wait a second here. What leg were you hanging on to?
Rick: I was hanging on to one of Bridget's legs.
John: Oh. So let me get this straight. You're hanging on to Bridget's leg with one hand, and the microphone in the other hand?
Rick: No, I set the microphone down on the table.
John: Oh geez. I had an image in my head here...
Rick: I'm very talented.
(Everyone laughs)
Rick: I did test levels.
(Everyone laughs)
John: The first time you didn't even know the microphone was on, the third time you're testing levels.
Rick: Exactly.
John: OK, roll the tape.
Dr. Sabbagha: Hi, hi, there it is. Can you push a little more?
Bridget: Ugh
Dr. Sabbagha: Hi there. Push push.
Nurse: Hi pumpkin.
Dr. Sabbagha: God, you're beautiful. Say something, precious.
Rick: It's a purple baby. That's Johnny's favorite color.
Baby cries.
Dr. Sabbagha: There he goes.
Rick: It's a boy!
Bridget: It's a boy?!
Rick: My three sons. Good work!
John: Rick. Guess whose crying in the studio? Oh, look, I got two of 'em crying.
Leslie: That's so beautiful.
Rick: It was soooo cool. I really got to enjoy it this time.
John: (sarcastically) Oh, and I know how hard the whole birthing process is for you.
Bridget: I actually thought he was funny this time. He made me laugh.
Bonnie: Because you hated him the other two times, right?
Rick: She kicked me in the knutchkies the first time she was so mad at me.
Bridget: I did not.
Rick: You did too.
John: Oh come on now, you two. You just had a baby.
Rick: I'm actually really proud of her. You should see her. You'd never believe she just had a baby.
Leslie: How are the boys. Are they excited?
Rick: (long pause) Uh...no.
(Everyone laughs)
Bridget: Tommy was so excited for about ten seconds. He came running into the room, held the baby, and then...hey what's in this cabinet?
Rick: And Johnny didn't even want to hold the baby.
John: Oooooooh.
Bonnie: Johnny's the middle child now.
Rick: Yup. My mom asked Johnny yesterday how his day went, and he said...Um, let's see...I went to school...I played in the park...um...She asked, 'Did anything special happen?' and he answered..."No."
John: Oh well, that will be an on-going story.
Rick: We're going to all go to a White Sox game tonight and beat up a coach. (This was the day after the William Ligue story)
John: You were gloating all morning, weren't you?
Rick: Yes I was.
John: I told you! Cubs fans are gloating all over the city. So...the name of the child is...
Rick: Sean Harrison Kaempfer
(Baby noises in the background)
John: Is that him?
Bridget: Yup. I'll put the phone up to him.
(More baby noises)
Bonnie: He sounds like a puppy.
John: OK, Sean. That's Irish for John, right?
Bridget: Yes, technically it is. S-E-A-N.
John: Harrison, I've got to guess, is...
Rick: Let's just say it's not for Harrison Ford.
John: It's for George Harrison, isn't it?
Rick: Yes it is.
John: I knew it!
Rick: But I didn't pick Sean. That was Tommy's idea.
John: And Johnny wanted to name it...
Rick: Johnny abstained.
(Everyone laughs)
John: Johnny threw his headphones down and walked out of the Security Council meeting!
Rick: That's right.
John: Well congratulations everybody. We now have Sean's first on-air performance on tape too.
Bonnie: Are his eyes open yet?
Leslie: He's not a kitten for Pete's sake.
Rick: Blue eyes.
Bridget: He's kind of dozing right now.
Bonnie: Poke him. Wake him up.
Leslie: Isn't it good that Bonnie doesn't have children? Have you taken him out for a walk yet?
Rick: We've got newspaper all over the floor...
John: Bonnie, it's a baby.
Bonnie: Sorry...
John: Well thanks for procreating.
Rick: My pleasure.
John: I'll bet it was. And now we have the vasectomy next.
Rick: Yes we do.
Leslie: And then we'll hear Rick making baby noises.
(everyone laughs)
John: Sean Harrison Kaempfer. That's a cool name. You'll have to change your answering machine message you know.
Rick: I'll do that today.
John: Cause it says, Rick, Bridget, Tommy & Johnny can't come to the phone. Well thanks guys, and congratulations.
Rick: Bye.
Bridget: Bye.
Bonnie: Of course, it will be awhile before Sean can come to the phone.
Leslie: Whoa.
John: The next time we do anything with children, you don't talk.
Bonnie laughs.
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