Since the old mascot (The Chief) has been banned, the University of Illinois is looking for a new mascot. Details are here.
My college buddy Brent suggests we make it the "apple pipe". We were, after all, named the best party school in the country this year. It can have a smile, and smoke coming out of the side of it's head. Just camp him out at the concession stand for the kids who get the munchies. It's medicinal (and therefore legal). In fact, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Can't get more wholesome.