Thursday, May 23, 2024

20 Years: Father Knows Nothing Meets $everance


This year marks my 20th year as a professional writer. Over the course of 2024, I'll be sharing a few of those offerings you may have missed along the way.

This month in 2007, my first novel "$everance" was released. At the time I was writing a weekly Father Knows Nothing column for Lee Publications in NW Indiana (NWI Times, Shore Magazine, NWI-Parent). This column combined the two projects, in a way that my kids still don't find funny.

Their eyerolls are my fuel.

I've probably already told you about my satirical novel (“$everance”) that explains who and what really runs the media, but you’d be surprised how difficult it is to get the word out in the media about a book that exposes the truth about the media…

Some authors faced with such a seemingly insurmountable dilemma and an advertising budget of zero, might be deterred or overwhelmed. Not me.

I’ve created the world’s first truly interactive billboard. 

I know this looks like a very fancy billboard, but it’s really just my three sons facing a blank wall, waiting for someone to walk by and look at it. When someone does, this amazing billboard “comes to life.”

The first boy turns around and says: “Severance is available at

The second boy turns around and says: “It’s only $20 if you order right now.”

And the third boy is supposed to turn around and say, "That's a heck of a deal for a 'hysterical critique of corporate morality' that is 'told with the keen insight of an industry insider', and is, take your pick: 'laugh out loud funny', 'yeah, that funny', 'brilliant satire', 'great, funny, sarcastic, and thought-provoking' or 'whiplash-fast choke-on-your-coffee funny'."

(All actual quotes from actual reviews. See them all here: 
Praise for $everance)

Unfortunately, he's only 4, and he usually says "Dad, this is stupid."

I suppose I could try another way. I could ask people to help spread the word by forwarding this post to people who may enjoy the book. Or I could ask people to suggest "$everance" for their book clubs. Or I could just ask people to help rescue these children from the humiliating experience by spending a measly $20 right now by clicking here.

Or.... the boy could learn his lines and deliver them with feeling. What are they teaching these kids in pre-school these days?

Maybe we'll see you this summer. The boys and I will be traveling around the country looking for blank walls that are just screaming for an interactive billboard. With any luck, I'll sell enough books to allow them to go back to school in the fall.

If not, acquiring the salesmanship skills and street smarts this project will teach them will more than make up for what they miss in 6th grade, 4th grade, and pre-Kindergarten, respectively. Don't you think?