Reviews for $everance

I put the wraps on the third draft of novel #2 today (It will be called "The Living Wills"), so I did a quick check to see if anything else had been written about novel #1 lately ("$everance").

I was blown away by these reviews on "Good Reads," and not just because they are so positive, but because I don't even know these people. I want to thank every one of them...

Here are a few...

Robert rated it 5 stars, and said...
"The rare political novel that can walk the thin line between conservative and liberal partisans, enlighten both, and dissatisfy neither. Set against a backdrop of corporate downsizing and media-industry conglomeration, Kaempfer shines a bright light on the hidden snares and pitfalls of an unregulated fourth estate."


Afoue rated it 5 stars, and said...
"An excellent book about a man who wants nothing more than to be fired. Severance gives an inside look at the inner workings of the media, something I'd never considered before. It somehow manages to maintain bipartisanship without offending one side (conservatives vs. liberals) more than the other. Deepak has to be my favorite character; he's hilarious. A very entertaining read, I recommend this to everyone."

Sarah Gorr rated it 4 stars, and said...
"As a public over-saturated with exposure to the media and information being beamed to us from all directions, Rick Kaempfer’s latest book, $everence, provides a hilariously entertaining inside look at the world of politics, persona and media consolidation. Kaempfer doesn’t just ask the question, “What happens when it all goes too far?” but suggests the outcome and it is not pretty. One of $everance’s greatest advantages in delivering its message is its use of humor and avoidance of dry political and corporate jargon. While an inside term or two might pop-up, Kaempfer’s book doesn’t seem to be preaching to the choir; it’s an open invitation for even those with little or no knowledge of the media’s inner workings or its political wheelings and dealings to join the conversation. Whether you’re news junkie, undecided, uninformed or just plain apathetic, $everence is a clever and enjoyable read for anyone exposed to the media; and that’s everyone."

Tisbutehname rated it 4 stars, and said...
"Severance: an indictment of spurious journalism? Check! Severance: a Laodicean account of the annoying nature of political zealots? Check! Severance: a hilarious satire about the trials and tribulations that accompany…trying to get fired? Check!  By staying objective, Severance does not crumble under the weight of its observations on the degradation of journalism into a ‘shoot first, ask questions later’ profession. It does not, like so many of its characters, become hypocritical or biased; on the other hand, it remains satisfyingly ambivalent, and genuine all the way to its final sentence. As good satire can, Severance will make you laugh, but just as quickly it can scare the pants off of you. Though some of the characters are absurd, the novel is not. Severance is an accurate appraisal of the ongoing mutations happening to a very crucial industry, and a highly recommended read." 

Brittany rated it 5 stars, and said...
"Richard Kaempfer’s $everance is a hilarious book that will make readers laugh, nod their heads in agreement and, especially in today’s climate, watch the news with even more skepticism. All Tom Zagorski wants is for his boss, Sherman Rose, to fire him so he can collect his severance check. He creates as much mayhem as he possibly can with the surprising result of landing him a job as COO for Sierra Megamedia Corporation, the company who owns his small Chicago radio station. With a brilliant mix of satire and truth, Kaempfer explores the world of media that most of us can only hypothesize about. Having worked in the business at a Chicago radio station, his account comes across as though he’s saying, “I couldn’t make this up if I tried.”

KC gave it 4 stars, and said...
"Richard Kaempfer's $everance is a deliciously fun read. Memorable characters with hilarious quirks lead you on a bizarre ride from small-scale media corruption to all-out corporate conglomeration. Rich characters infuse each chapter with absurdly entertaining vignettes. The novel's roller-coaster ride of shenanigans seems beyond fictional except for protagonist Tom Zagorski's unwavering moral compass. It points northeast. More importantly, it adds credibility to his continuously thwarted goal of getting fired and securing his severance check.  Kaempfer has crafted a satire that is interesting without being overbearing. His personal experience in radio strengthens the novel and the author's note reinforces the darker themes rendered ludicrous in fiction. This is a great jab at the painfully one-sided soapboxes masquerading as news providers as well as the often overlooked monopoly of mainstream media. Recommended for the socially conscious and/or anyone with a sense of humor."

Jeepers, everyone. Thanks so much.

It's still available, by the way. It's only $15 at ENC Press (retail is $19), and only $5 for the e-book.

Charlie Brown Christmas Special

45 years ago today, the Charlie Brown Christmas special aired for the very first time on CBS. I've been stealing these dance moves ever since...

Cubs sign Carlos Pena

The details are here, but this is all you need to know. It's a one-year $10 million deal for a guy that hit .196 last year.

That is so Cubs.

Q&A with Mike Quade

Bruce Levine talks with Cubs manager Mike Quade. I find myself liking this guy.

 By the way, how many times can you print a Q&A with someone that actually has a Q and an A in their name?

Crosby Stills and Nash

On this day in 1967, Graham Nash announced the formation of a new band, Crosby, Stills & Nash. A year and a half later they performed together at Woodstock...

Pearl Harbor Day

A day that will live in infamy...December 7, 1941

The Windy City

I'm not sure what city this is, but it's not a good city to live in if you're a duck...

Father Knows Nothing

I just posted my latest Father Knows Nothing column at NWI Parent Magazine. This one is called "The Great Glasses Caper" and it's about the whereabouts of my son Johnny's glasses.

You can read it here.

RIP Ron Santo

 Sad, sad news. Ron Santo passed away at the age of 70. Full details are here.

He never got to see the Cubs win the World Series. He never made it into the Hall of Fame. And there haven't been many people in the world that more desperately wanted both. That's the first thing I thought of when I heard he died this morning. I'm sure most Cub fans thought the same thing. That, and it's not going to be the same listening to the Cubs on the radio without him.

I met Ron once about ten years ago and he was very nice to me, but I don't claim to know him at all. I did, however, talk to a few people the past few years that were among his closest friends.

*****

One of them was his broadcast partner Pat Hughes.

We discussed Ron...

Rick: Your chemistry with Ron Santo is really amazing—it’s like yin and yang. He is pure emotion—and you are the voice of reason. I’m sure that’s part of the secret to your chemistry, but there’s obviously more to it than that. It seems like you also have real affection for each other. Would that be fair to say?

Pat: Yes it would. We have amazing harmony, very few bad vibes. Forget baseball, he’s just an extraordinary human being. I’ve never met anyone like him. Beyond baseball, he’s an icon for diabetics everywhere. What he’s been through! What he’s accomplished! Ron’s an inspiration.

Rick: Have the two of you ever had a fight?

Pat: (laughs) Hell no. Anytime you work together as long as we have, you have a few minor little disagreements, but nothing bad. Never.

Rick: I used to love when you did the attendance game with him and you beat him every day. Even for something like that—his emotions were on his sleeve—he would get so upset. I know that’s what Cub fans love about him. As much as it hurts us to lose, we can hear in his voice that it hurts him even more. Do you ever worry that the strain of that is having a detrimental effect on his health?

Pat: I used to, but not anymore. The man is 70 years old. He’s had diabetes, and cancer. He’s lost his bladder and his legs. He’s gone through everything you can imagine. Why would you worry anymore? He’s like a superman, a man of steel. Plus, I think it’s better for him to get it out of his system, than to let it build up inside him.

*****

Todd Manley was the WGN production director for years, and he beautifully captured the spirit of the Pat & Ron broadcasts in his promos...
PAT AND RON PROMO--A Steamy Fan
PAT AND RON PROMO--The Marrying Type
PAT AND RON PROMO--Snot
PAT & RON PROMO--I Dream of Jeannie

******

I also interviewed Andy Masur, his former colleague at WGN, now the play by play man of the San Diego Padres...

Rick: The years you were at WGN were a roller coaster ride for Ron Santo; from the lows of his health problems and the Hall of Fame snubs, to the highs of the day his number was retired, and the Cubs 2003 playoff run. Was that time an emotional time for the rest of you in the booth too?

Andy: First off, I must say, that Ron Santo is one of my heroes. Not for his play on the field, but for his work and passion off the field. He was a great player, no doubt, but he’s an even better person. Ron is one of the toughest human beings I have ever met. With all the physical problems he’s encountered over the past 8 or so years, I never once heard the man utter the words “why me?” Never. That’s a quality few people have. I think about Ron every day.

As far as 2003 goes, I’m just now finding that I’m able to talk about the year and how it started and finished. Ron’s Hall of Fame snub in February of that year was devastating to all of us in the booth. He really felt that it was his year. It didn’t happen. The Cubs played remarkable baseball that season, and I’ll never forget after they clinched the division with the double header sweep of the Pirates, how many of the players I interviewed in the clubhouse, were saying “this is for Ron”.

I remember the next day, when Ron’s number was retired, looking at the sign on the fence behind the bleachers in left field “Ron Santo a perfect 10” and thinking, this has to make him feel 100 feet tall. It did. An honor well deserved.

The shame of it all though, was Ron didn’t get to enjoy the playoffs in the booth. Another health scare kept him out, and all of us in the booth, from Pat to Matt Boltz, were devastated that Ron wouldn’t be with us. I’ll never forget Pat’s call at the end of the Braves series, “Ron Santo this one’s for you!”, I still seriously get choked up just thinking about it.

So to answer your original question, yes, it was a great year, but a very emotional year for all of us.

******

A few years ago the Associated Press did a story about Ron, and they interviewed me as part of the piece, to get a fan's perspective. Here's a portion of that article...

People around Santo have gone to him and suggested he "detach himself a little bit," said Bob Brenly, a former broadcast partner who is now an analyst for the team's television broadcasts. "But it's not in him," he said.

Even fans have taken notice.

"When he's not on the broadcast I'm actually worried about his health," said Rick Kaempfer, a lifelong fan who has a website (www.justonebadcentury.com) devoted to the Cubs.

Santo also has something that fans like Kaempfer value above everything else. Hope. No matter what happens, no matter how many years and how many ways the Cubs fail, Santo does not give up hope.

"I heard him talking about how the Rockies won 21 in a row a few years ago (at one stretch they won 21 of 22 games), hanging his hat on that, saying it could be us," Kaempfer said.

It is Santo's devotion to his team and his optimism that he will see the Cubs win a World Series title that helps explain the attachment that fans like Kaempfer have to Santo.

"It unifies Cub Fans," Kaempfer said.

******

What kind of a man was he to Cub fans? This story about meeting Ron in the summer of 1963 captures it about as well as any story I've ever heard...



******

As for me, I remember watching this game from the summer of 1970. The game he hit three home runs. Lou Boudreau and Vince Lloyd had the call.

That's the way I'm going to remember him.

Rest in Peace, Ron Santo. Cub nation already misses you. To be honest, I'm getting a little choked up just thinking about it.

Joke for a Friday Morning

 Contributed by "MM"...




Texas Bank Robbery

A hooded robber burst into a Texas bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door, a brave Texas customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off revealing the robber's face. The robber shot the customer without a moment's hesitation.

He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also. Everyone else, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence.

The robber yelled, 'Well, did anyone else see my face?' There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly afraid to speak.

Then, one old cowboy tentatively raised his hand, and while keeping his head down said, 'My wife got a pretty good look at you.'

"You're So Vain"

It was released on this day in 1972. Who is this song about? Carly Simon has told only one person (who paid $50,000 for the right to find out). I can't listen to it without thinking of Warren Beatty. That's my guess.

I bought the 45 when it came out. Granted, I was 9 at the time, but I still like it. It's on my iPod.

Joke for a Tuesday morning

Contributed by "MS"...


A Little Christmas Story

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where. Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor.. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

Not a lot of people know this.

Hi Hi Hi

From Bob Dearborn's The Olde Disc Jockey's Almanac this morning...

"December 1, 1972…Wings released "Hi, Hi, Hi." The BBC banned the song for its supposedly suggestive lyrics and because of their assumption that the title phrase, "We're gonna get hi, hi, hi," was a drug reference. The sexual line the Beeb objected to is the one they heard as "get you ready for my body gun." McCartney has said the correct lyrics are "get you ready for my polygon," an abstract image."

As for the word "polygon," give me a break, Paul. Listen to it in context. There's no way that is supposed to be an abstract image. Of course, all these years later, it seems pretty tame anyway. It would never be banned today. Here's the song...

Remember Felix Pie?

The Cubs one-time hope for the future, and the Orioles current average outfielder, went completely nuts during a winter league game. You don't need to understand Spanish to figure out what's happening here...

Baseball News

The Rockies signed Troy Tulowitzki through 2020 (!)

The Cardinals acquired Ryan Theriot.

The Dodgers signed Juan Uribe, and the Giants signed Miguel Tejada.

And the Cubs? (crickets)

America's (Bunny's) Most Wanted

This is a photo of our little puppy Ivy. Looks like a mild mannered thing, doesn't she?

And, for the most part, she is. But she also has Forest Gump-like speed and a pretty powerful jaw. When you watch Bunny-TV tonight, and the Bunny news anchors start talking about a killer puppy murdering little bunnies in suburban backyards, don't be surprised if they use this photo.

Victim #2 was buried this week.

The only reason squirrels get away is because they can go up.

Brian's Song

The movie that can make grown men cry debuted on ABC-TV on this day in 1971...Grab a hankie.

Beatles on iTunes

Still think that everyone that wants Beatles music already has it? Look at these sales figures...

In their first week online, the Beatles racked up worldwide sales of more than 450,000 albums and 2 million individual tracks, according to Billboard.  Apple says that the best-selling album was Abbey Road, with "Here Comes the Sun" ranked as the No. 1 individual-selling song. 

To me that's still the most interesting part of this; to see which individual song sells the best. Isn't it funny that George is outselling John and Paul? Too bad George isn't around to see it.

Minnie Minoso

The former White Sox star is 85 years old today.

I've met Minnie many times over the years. We had him on the John Landecker show nearly every year, and used him the same way every time.

If you want to know what he did, you can read about it here.

Brandon Webb

According to this, the Cubs are looking at signing Brandon Webb.

On the positive side: he won the Cy Young once and finished second in the voting twice.

On the negative side: he hasn't pitched in the majors the last two full seasons because of arm surgery.

Sounds like a Cub.

Father Knows Nothing

I just posted my latest Father Knows Nothing column. This one is called "The 12 days of Teen Christmas," and yes, it includes new lyrics to the classic (?) Christmas song.

My teen son Tommy hates it, so I think I might be on to something.

You can read it here.

Have a great Thanksgiving!

A parting thought from this year's dinner...

Supper Club

Kim Strickland is a fellow author ("Wish Club," Three Rivers Press, 2007), and blogger (A City Mom), but she's much more than that to me. She's been a good friend since college, and I don't need to tell you how many years ago that was.

I know what you're thinking as you look at her picture. You're thinking: "She's the same age as you, Rick?" No, actually she's not. She's significantly older (twelve days).

Her latest blog for Chicago Now is about our every other month gathering of college friends called "Supper Club."

You can read it here.

OK, this made me laugh

"BP" sent me the following e-mail in response to my item about the Medill School of Journalism changing their name...

"Shortly after renaming the school, the Medill School of Journalism, Media, Integrated Marketing Communications intramural softball team complained about the Library Sciences team running up the score on them."

Cubs programming note

From my e-mail box, this reminder from the MLB network...

"Chicago Cubs Joe Tinker and Johnny Evers will be featured in a new episode of MLB Network’s Prime 9: Double Play Combinations at 7:00 p.m. CT. The Tinker-Evers duo will be ranked alongside other combinations, including the Orioles’ Mark Belanger and Bobby Grich, the Indians’ Omar Vizquel and Roberto Alomar, and the Pirates’ Bill Mazeroski and Gene Alley."

John F. Kennedy

47 years ago today...



I was four months old.

Weird Cub Vibe

I know some people wondered if Larry Rothschild had nude photos of Jim Hendry, considering that he has survived through all of these managerial regimes, despite the pitching staff not exactly tearing it up. And because he had another year left on his contract, I don't know anybody that saw this coming.

Larry Rothschild left the Cubs to take a job with the Yankees.

I was at a party with friends last night (nearly all of whom are Cub fans), and this was a big topic of conversation. Doesn't it feel like something isn't quite right with the Cubs?

They bypassed their Hall of Famer to hire Mike Quade. They have made ZERO player moves. The payroll will be cut. Their pitching coach left the team. The owner is saying that he needs the state to bail him out. The Cubs convention is not sold out.

At the end of last year I went to three different games, and the left field bleachers were empty all three times.

Despite my initial excitement about this new ownership, I have a funny feeling we're heading toward another PK Wrigley era. And let me tell you youngsters, that was NOT a good era for the Cubs. (I know, I know--when were the good eras for the Cubs? But in a century of bad eras--the PK Wrigley era was the worst.)

Buckle up, Cub fans. I suspect we're in for a few really bad years.

Father Knows Nothing

My latest Father Knows Nothing column has been posted. This week's is all about Sean's commercial shoot for the U.S. Soccer Players Association.

You can read it here.

Chicago Radio Spotlight: Ed Tyll

I just posted my 200th interview at Chicago Radio Spotlight. This week I spoke with former Loop talk show host Ed Tyll. You may not like what he says, but he'll say it anyway, Ed Tyll.

You can read it here.

That's going to be my last Chicago Radio Spotlight interview for 2010. I'll have some more after the first of the year. 

Quinn vs. Quade

I contributed to this little intellectual exercise at the Beachwood Reporter.

You can read it here.

Achtung Baby!

On this day in 1991, just three days after my wedding, U2 released one of their best albums: "Achtung Baby." This is my favorite song from that great album...

First basemen

 I've been following the rumors about who the Cubs are pursuing to fill that glaring hole at first base.

The two names that keep coming up are Carlos Pena and Chris Davis. Pena hit .196 last year. Davis hit .192.

I'm guessing Gonzalo Marquez is no longer available, but his stats match up pretty well.

Never say "Unbreakable"

It doesn't matter what language you say it in, either...

Not a good off season for Harry Caray

First his statue is cracked.

Now his Wrigleyville restaurant closes.

It only lasted two years across the street from the ballpark. The old Hi-Tops will now be known as "Benchwarmers."

Harry Nilsson

One of the more under-appreciated figures in rock and roll is getting a documentary. The man who did the "US vs. John Lennon" documentary, and the "We Believe" Cubs documentary has turned his sights on Harry.

The film is called "Who is Harry Nilsson (and why is everybody talking about him)"

The title is a reference to his biggest hit, the theme song from the film "Midnight Cowboy," and a song that doesn't really get played anymore...



Harry died years ago. He literally drank himself to death.

Tear down Wrigley?

Message to Steve Chapman of the Chicago Tribune: No.

E-mails, we get e-mails...

"RP," a Northwestern grad, takes issue with my portrayal of this weekend's Illini-Northwestern game...

"I can't wait, either. I'll have my "house divided" flag out in front of my house, as my wife went to Illinois. But the marquee SHOULD play favorites. Here's a little school on the North Shore, about one-fifth the size of the U of I, aggressively laying claim to being Chicago's Big Ten team. Illinois should have such good marketing. I know Illinois fans will be there (we had to give them SOME tickets) but it is a Northwestern home game. And by the way, the name is Dyche. Not Dyke."

Whoops. Sorry about the spelling. As for the 'little school on the North Shore,' puleeze. Northwestern could buy and sell Illinois. :)

Proud Papa

If you watch the USA-South Africa match on ESPN2 today, look for the commercial about the US National Men's Team. My son Sean is featured in the closing seconds of the spot, representing the "next generation".

You can watch it here too.

19 years ago

Today is my 19th anniversary.

I wrote about that in my Father Knows Nothing column this past weekend, in case you missed it.

Happy anniversary, Bridget. Here's to 19 more.

Programming Note for Cub fans

Got this e-mail from the MLB network this morning...

"The 1906 Chicago Cubs infield will be featured in a new episode of MLB Network’s Prime 9: Infields tonight at 7:00 p.m. CT.

The ’06 Cubs will be ranked alongside other infields, including the ’13 Athletics,’27 Giants, ’34 Tigers, and ’82 Brewers. New episodes of Prime 9 will air every Tuesday in November beginning at 7:00 p.m. CT."

That's a picture of them above. L-R: Harry Steinfeldt (3B), Joe Tinker (SS), Johnny Evers (2B), and Frank Chance (1B). 

Tinker and Evers didn't speak to each other because of an argument about a cab, Frank Chance had been beaned in the head so many times he would eventually die from it, and Harry Steinfeldt was like the Pete Best of this outfit. He was their MVP in 1906, but wasn't included in the poem about the team because his name didn't sound poetic.

Worst Movie Ever

It was released on this day in 1978...



Even more embarrassing all these years later.

Free Agent Pitchers

According to the Sporting News, guess who the Cubs are looking to add as a free agent pitcher? These are the three names on their list: Jake Westbrook, Javier Vasquez and Kevin Millwood.

All I can say is: Ugh.

What? Dick Ruthven or Dickie Noles aren't available?

Sandberg is a Phillie again

How angry is he at the Cubs?

He took the same job the Cubs offered him, but with a Phillies organization that has an even more established manager than we do.

Get Off of my Cloud

Exactly 45 years ago today the Stones appeared on the TV show Hullabaloo and performed this one...

Harry Caray statue damaged

I missed this story over the weekend.

A worker crashed into the Harry Caray statue at Wrigley Field and cracked it. Look out, this may bring the Cubs some bad luck. (Bwaaaa haaaa haaaa). 

Bring it on, back luck inflicter. Do your worst. You can't harm us anymore.

Father Knows Nothing

This week I'm celebrating my 19th wedding anniversary. Father Knows Nothing is about a promise I made to my wife 19 years ago, and my effort to keep that promise.

You can read it here.

Chicago Radio Spotlight: Jim Johnson

This week I talked to Jim Johnson, the WLS newsman. Jim's been at WLS since 1968, and has some great stories about what he's seen and heard during those years.

You can read the full interview here.

The Name Game

On this day in 1964, Shirley Ellis recorded one of the most unusual hit songs in history. Anyone that has played around with this song knows not to do "the name game" with the name Chuck, but if you do it with the name Rick, you'll also inadvertently swear in German. Take my word for it.

Sonny & Cher reunion

They reunited for one night on Letterman's show this week in 1987. It feels strange to say it now, but this was one of the most memorable things I've ever seen on a Late Night television show. It was oddly touching...

Kosuke buys a condo

Looks like he's been told not to worry about a trade.

Kosuke Fukudome just bought a $1.32 million condo on Lake Shore Drive.

I know it's fashionable to take shots at Kosuke, but I think he's the very best $10 million-plus fourth outfielder in the National League.

Joke for a Friday morning

Contributed by "MM"




CATHOLIC COFFEE MORNING IN ROME

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square, Rome.

The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"

She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breast, 24" waist and
34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God."

Kato talks baseball

The Hall of Very Good is a baseball website, and I'm on their mailing list. They have done quite a few interesting interviews over the past few years, but this has to be one of my favorites.

Kato Kaelin talking baseball.

Guess what his favorite team is? No, it's not the Cubs. Click on the link to find out.

Veterans Day

November 11th is now known as Veterans Day, a worthy day to honor all of the men and women that have served this country.

However, the origin of the holiday actually dates back to November 11, 1918. At that time it was known as Armistice Day. The day that World War I ended...the war to end all wars.

Peter Kaempfer

My grandfather, Peter Kaempfer, was born on this day in 1910, exactly 100 years ago. We lost him about seven years ago, and I delivered his eulogy. (I'm the funeral guy in my family--it's not a great gig).

On this special centennial of his birth, I hope you don't mind if I share the thoughts I shared with the mourners at his church seven years ago. I'd like for there to be some record of his life on the internet (right now it's like he never existed).

They asked me to say a few words about my grandfather, Peter Kaempfer.

To my cousin, my sister, my brother and I, he was Otta.  He gave us more than our name.  He taught us what it meant.

He was a Kaempfer. Most of you know that’s the German word for fighter or warrior.

A man doesn’t make it nearly 93 years without being a Kaempfer. 

This Kaempfer was born BEFORE World War One. He told me that he remembered seeing the soldiers come home from that war.

That was in his hometown in Rumania.  He would have happily lived in that town for his entire life.  It was all he ever knew.   In that little German speaking town, Otta and his brother Andreas were musicians and singers. When he and his brother played and sang together it was among the most special moments of his life.  He told me that if he could have done anything he wanted with his life, that would have been it.  The performing Kaempfer brothers.  I never got to see the brothers perform together, but I did get to see Otta.  He played that accordion for his children…and his grandchildren…and his great grandchildren.  You could tell that music was something that touched him as deeply as he could be touched.

That town was the place of his fondest memories.

It's where he met his wife Anna, my Oma.  If he had lived until January (2004), they would have celebrated their 70^th wedding anniversary.   I don’t know what the record is, but it can’t be much more than that.

Both of his children were born in that town, too. Eckhard, my father, was born in 1935.  Hedy, my godmother, was born in 1938. Otta was in his late-20s then, a well respected member of the only town he ever knew.  A man that was held in such high esteem, he was the bookkeeper of the entire farm co-op.  

He was a Kaempfer. But he had no idea at the time how much of a Kaempfer he would need to be.  He was in the army, fighting in the second World War, when everything he had ever known was taken away from him. The Russians were coming, and his family had no choice but to flee.  By the time he finally met up with them, he would never see his hometown again..

If the war years were rough, the years after the war would really test his mettle as a Kaempfer.  In Austria, times were so hard that he and his family were forced to live in a chicken coop. Last night at the wake we had a few pictures on display from those years in Austria. Going from that world to Chicago must have felt like going in a time machine.  A big city.  A totally different life.  A totally different language.

But he did it, and he thrived. Because he was a Kaempfer.

What kind of a man was Peter Kaempfer?

*He was a thoughtful man. A thinker. A man that thought any problem could be solved with your brain.  Anyone who ever played cards against him could testify to that. 

*He was a caring man. A worrier. I know everyone in the family can give you a few examples of that.

*He was a man of few words.  But he loved to listen.

*He not only figured out how to hook up a VCR when he was in his 80s, he figured out how to hook up two VCRs and record from one to the other.  He made copies of all his German videotapes for his friends.

*He always added on to his age. When he turned 80, he said he was almost 90. The day he turned 90, he said he was almost 100.

*He had 27 years of retirement. And good years too. He loved those winters in Florida.

*He lived 92 ½ healthy years and 2 bad weeks. 

When you live to 92, you have to be a Kaempfer.  He was at many ceremonies like this.  He lost his little brother. He lost his only son.  He lost nearly every friend he ever had.

But he was a Kaempfer, and he’ll live on much longer in the Kaempfers he left behind.

*My brother, also a Peter Kaempfer, is an accountant—just like Otta was for his farming co-op. My sister Cindy is a CFO—the bookkeeper for her whole corporate town.

*My cousin Robert isn’t a Kaempfer, but he has his grandfather’s personality…and hairstyle.

*My son Tommy shares his great grandfather’s love of music. It touches him as deeply and in the same way it touched Otta.

And we’re all thinkers.  And we’re all worriers.  And we’re all Americans.

And we have Otta, Peter Kaempfer—someone who really lived up to the name Kaempfer--to thank for that.

Ted Lilly's house

Since he signed a new three year contract to stay with the Dodgers, he doesn't need his house in Chicago anymore.

It's for sale in Wrigleyville.

Want to take a virtual tour?

The mitt he threw on the mound during his 2007 playoff hissy fit is not included.

Joke for a Tuesday morning

This was contributed by "MM"...




GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa - half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe -
Well-developed and open to trade, especially for something of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain - very hot, relaxed, and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece - gently aging, but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all-conquering past..

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel - has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada -
Cool, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet - wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages.... An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran - ruled by nuts.

Great Trick Play

Love this maneuver...

Hildegard

My mom is celebrating her 69th birthday today. (Yes, she was a very young mom)

How well is my mom still doing these days? For her birthday, we got her a 5-wood. Next month, she's going skiing again.

I don't write about mom very often (and I explain why here if you're interested), and she's not exactly thrilled with my career choices over the past decade or so (she never ever reads anything I write), but between you and me, I couldn't do this whole stay-at-home dad thing without her help.

Mom is the most reliable person I know. That's the ultimate German compliment.

50 years ago this week...

...a young charismatic senator was elected the first Catholic (and still only Catholic) President of the United States.

Father Knows Nothing

My latest Father Knows Nothing has been posted. It's about those horrible few hours between the end of the school day and the end of dinner. It's called "The Witching Hours"

You can read it here.

Chicago Radio Spotlight: Brian "Whip" Paruch

The latest Chicago Radio Spotlight interview is now up on the site. This week I talked to Brian "Whip" Paruch from the Eric and Kathy show.

You can read the entire interview here.

Johnny Horton

He was only 35 years old when he died in an automobile accident on this day in 1960. Most people don't remember Johnny, but he was a huge star at the time of his death. I didn't really learn about him until I worked at the oldies station. This was his biggest hit...



By the way, according to Bob Dearborn's The Olde Disc Jockey's Almanac, actor Ward Bond (Bert from "It's a Wonderful Life"), died on the same day.

Joke for a Friday morning

Contributed by "TH"...


The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.'

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walked into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.

'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. So, let's head to the club and have a martini.'

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis.

They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating. The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end, because 'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.'

The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.

After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, 'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that?'

'Because I don't want any of those women sleeping with your father after I'm gone.'

Ah, web cam effects

This made me laugh...

Monopoly turns 75

On this day in 1935, the board game Monopoly was introduced by Parker Brothers.

The first players of Monopoly are almost done with that first game.






My son Sean and I play it pretty regularly, but we have our own rules. We double the money, hotels are free with the purchase of the final property of a color, and when the last property is sold, the game is over. It drives Bridget crazy that we don't follow the real rules exactly, but as I noted above...the real rules are insane.

Turn back the clocks

We get an extra hour of sleep this weekend.

Don't forget to turn back your clocks...

Sammy's corked bat sold after all

Mike Remlinger and Grant DePorter of Harry Caray's restaurants made a private deal after the bat didn't sell at auction.

DePorter's highest bid was accepted after all (more than $14,000), and he is now the proud owner of Sammy's corked bat.

Tina Fey gives Dave some Sarah

They were just another band out of Boston

On this day in 1978, the band Boston played their first live concert in the city of Boston...two years after the release of their first multi-platinum album. They were definitely not just another band out of Boston...

Ryno tells Cubs to shove it

This wasn't too hard to predict.

After doing everything he was told to do to train for the Cubs manager job, and still not be given the job when it opened up (even from an owner that considers him to be his all-time favorite player, and even after winning the minor league manager of the year award), Ryno said bye bye to the Cubs yesterday.

I have a feeling this wound will take a little while to heal, but it will. Don't forget, that flag on the right field flagpole still has his number on it. He will always be a Cub.

Ask Ernie Banks. He lobbied for the Cubs manager job for years from P.K. Wrigley--who also considered Ernie his all-time favorite player--and Wrigley wouldn't give it to him. A statue heals all wounds.