At the end of June, I will be discontinuing my "From the Archives" feature and replacing it with highlights from my new blog; Media Notebook.
Check it out here: http://medianotebook.blogspot.com/
It examines the finances, politics and personalities in the media. There are no opinions (well, not many anyway), just links to news stories that you might have missed. In short, it helps explain how the news media really works. And yes...It just happens to be the subject of my upcoming novel: $everance.
It's currently running every Tuesday and Thursday at http://medianotebook.blogspot.com/
And now on to this week's "From the Archives"...
Since the 2006 World Cup (Soccer) is starting tomorrow, I thought I'd pull out this piece I wrote for a magazine called "Upbeat Chicago" in 1993. I was very pumped about the World Cup coming to America (in 1994). When it finally arrived, I went to every game I could. (Including the Opening Ceremonies, where Oprah fell through a hole in the stage--that was worth the price of admission.)
For the record, I'm just as excited about the World Cup this year. I'll be watching nearly every game.
A Tale of Two Topics
by Rick Kaempfer
It is the best of times....
It's time to come out of the closet. I'm ready to accept the ridicule. I am a die- hard soccer fan. Now, hold it right there. Some of you have already written me off as some kind of communist or flower-smeller. What follows is for you. I am like you in many ways. I happen to love All-American Apple-Pie sports.
For instance, I can lose myself in the joy of baseball. The leisurely pace of the national pastime is about as perfect as it gets. Whether I'm on my couch, or sitting in the bleachers at Wrigley sucking in the summer air and the summer brew, I'm as happy as a sports fan can be. I check the box scores every morning before I even read the front page. Yes, I admit that some people think it's a boring game. Nevertheless, I'm an unabashed baseball fan.
Just so you don't think I only enjoy so-called "boring games," let me tell you of my love of football. Quite simply, I consider the fall of 1985 to be the best four months of my life. When my friends and I get together the conversation inevitably leads to that eventful fall. We swap our favorite moments until it builds to the crescendo of the Super Bowl half time comments of Pete Axthelm, which we repeat in fever-pitch unison...."It's men against boys!!"
So, when I tell you that I'm a big soccer fan, I'm not just one of those guys that wears dark socks and sandals and speaks with some kind of funny accent.
I know you didn't grow up with soccer. You may have even tried to watch it a few times and found yourself bored to tears. You may tell me that with the Cubs, Sox, Bears, Bulls, and Blackhawks, you really don't have time to add another sport to your repertoire.
But what about your kids? Have you noticed how much they love soccer? More American kids play soccer than baseball or football. If you really take the time the learn the sport, you'll find that many of the very things that attract you to baseball and football will attract you to soccer. Don't be deceived by the low scores. There is much more to a sport than scoring. Besides, a 3-2 soccer game is the same as a 21-14 football game.
Why do I bring this up? Well, this summer something truly special is coming to Chicago, and I fear you may miss it. The World Cup will bring the best soccer on the planet, and it will be taking place right on Lake Shore drive in Soldier Field. If you even have it in your heart to give soccer a chance, this is the time to do it.
National teams against national teams, playing with emotion like you've never seen. If their teams lose, they won't just have an off-season (hear what I'm saying Blackhawks?), they will disappoint an entire nation. Remember the excitement you felt when the US Hockey team beat the USSR. The whole country was watching and rooting for the Good 'Ol USA. The winners become national heroes. The losers kick themselves for a lifetime.
It's hard to top this kind of drama in sports. So, you say you still don't care?
Soccer is still a game played by foreign guys in cute little short pants?
All I ask is that you watch it with an open mind. Observe the passion and majesty of the game that has a tradition as glorious as baseball. Learn the rules and appreciate the tactics. Marvel at the passing, the off-the-ball maneuvering, the graceful athletes performing tasks unimaginable to the average human. America's best athletes may play basketball or football, but in the rest of the world they play soccer. Check them out, you won't be disappointed.
If we support this World Cup we may have another professional league in this country. A league that the youth of America wants to see. The only people stopping that from happening are the "old-school" American sports fans. Don't be governed by your local sports-page. You don't have to listen to them. Make up your own mind. If you watch it with an open mind, and still find it boring...well, then consider me officially off your back.
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It is the worst of crimes....
Tell me if you’ve ever heard this before...”Pretty soon the criminals will be running this country.”
We see stories all the time of criminals getting off on some legal technicality. We see the crime bosses wearing their fancy suits walking out of court free men. We hear about the crooks that live a life of leisure because crime is so easy and profitable.
Of course, this isn’t true at all. There may be a few isolated examples, but the fact of the matter is criminals are not very smart.
They aren’t committing crimes because they have discovered it is far more lucrative than working for a living. They are committing crimes because they are too stupid to work for a living.
I thought I’d share a couple of my favorite examples from 1993.
The glue caper...
In the Brazilian city of Belo Horizonte, a man was robbing a shop on a Saturday morning that he knew was closed for the weekend. During the course of his brilliant money making scheme, he came across a tank of glue.
He had heard stories of people getting high sniffing glue. As he continued to fill his bag with goodies, he kept thinking about that huge tank of glue. Imagine how high he could get with an entire tank of glue! He put his bag down, walked over to the glue, put his head over the tank and inhaled. He got high. So he sniffed some more. He got higher. Unfortunately, in his glue induced stupor, he accidentally knocked over the tank of glue. He was overcome by fumes and collapsed on the floor. Luckily for him, he came to just a few hours later. Unluckily for him, he was glued to the floor. He lay there for thirty-six hours, before firemen cut him loose.
Hey, it doesn’t just happen in foreign countries. Consider the story of the Maryland man I fondly refer to as the Duke of Earl.....
Earl Lathem was one of those smart criminals that escaped from jail. He had it all figured out. He knew that the cops would never think of looking for him at his mother’s house, so that is where he immediately went. He was a little surprised when they showed up on his mother’s front porch just a few hours later. Luckily, Earl had a back-up plan. They asked him what his name was, and he was prepared with an answer. “My name is Earl, uh, Smith,” came the brilliant reply. He knew the cops would leave and look elsewhere after that remarkable retort. Only one thing snagged this intellectual criminal genius. The police asked him to spell his name. He had to admit he had no idea how to spell Smith, and he was immediately taken into custody.
So the next time you hear about the brilliant criminals taking over the world, remember the story of the glue. The next time you hear about the genius criminals taking over the country, remember the story of the Duke of Earl. It sure helps me sleep better at night.
