Advanced Reviews For "Father Knows Nothing"

So far, exactly four people have read advanced copies of "Father Knows Nothing" (other than my editor & me). Here is what they have to say about it...

"Kaempfer's triumphant achievement is also his greatest success. The most famous, hilarious, suburban stay-at-home dad of all-time!"

- Pat Colander, Associate Publisher & Editor/Shore Magazine

"Father Knows Nothing is a loving, humorous, insightful and abundantly entertaining tale of a dad and his sons."

- John Records Landecker, WLS-Radio

"Rick is the new Bill Cosby of parenting books. Minus the fact that he is white, middle class, and doesn't wear bad sweaters."

- Jeff Hoover, WGN-TV Morning News

"It doesn’t matter whether you’re the father of sons or daughters, the stories in Father Knows Nothing will hit close to home. I laughed out loud picturing Rick breaking up fights between his sons, flinging the top layer of a pizza across the kitchen and scaring his son out of lawn maintenance. The frequent laughs are balanced with emotionally touching stories and insights. This book is a wonderful record of an exciting, tumultuous time that all parents will relate to."

- Brian Noonan, WGN Radio


Father Knows Nothing is available for pre-order now, and it ships right after Thanksgiving. It's the perfect Christmas present for the dad (or dad to be) in your family.

Dad's House

My father-in-law passed away last week, and now the difficult chore of cleaning out his house begins. Several of his kids (he had 7) spent the entire day there yesterday, and while it's beginning to sink in how big this job is (he lived in the house for forty years)--there are occasional gems being uncovered.

This is my favorite so far...

John Farneda Leaves WXRT

People simply don't leave WXRT. John Farneda has been their Operations Manager, and before that, just about every other position in the programming side of the WXRT operation for three decades. The RAMP Newsletter posted his e-mail about why he is leaving...

"After 31 years at Chicago's Finest Rock, I realized that I have achieved all my goals at the radio station and it is now time to set new ones. In 1983, I was hired as an intern to type public service announcements and schedule interviews. Since then, I have been trusted to program one of the most respected, unique and influential radio stations in the country. I have served as Assistant Program Director, Music Director and Operations Manager. I have produced/co-produced all 16 volumes of ONXRT: Live From The Archives (a compilation CD of exclusive live performances that has raised close to $1,000,000 for various charitable organizations both locally and globally). In 2015, I look forward to exploring new adventures in the music industry. I hope to share my decades of programming experience with friends wanting to innovate and entertain."

Hmmmm. That last sentence sticks out to me. I'm sure it also sticks out to the brass at WXRT.

FCC Chairman Backtracks

The FCC Chairman met with the Telecom lobbyists...and now he's backtracking from what he said yesterday, according to the Washington Post.

Depressing.

If he decides to rule in favor of these telecom giants and lets them create fast lanes and slow lanes on the internet, despite the overwhelming majority of Americans opposing it--and the President of his own party urging him NOT to do it--we have reached a new low point in this country. Even more depressing to me is reading the comments section of the article. As I predicted yesterday, now that Obama has chosen sides, the knee-jerk Obama haters are agreeing with the four CEOs.

This is like watching "It's a Wonderful Life" and rooting for Mr. Potter. "Yeah! Stick it to 'em, Potter! Gouge the suckers!"

Actually it's worse than that, because in this case, even Mr. Potter is against it. Every business is against it. They all sell with the help of the internet these days. They know their cost of business will now go up if the telecom giants are allowed to do this, or the quality of their internet service will go down. They will have to make that choice. That's what is being proposed here. As a consumer, your costs will go up. Period. And your internet experience will be worse. Period. Read the tortured attempts at trying to pretend that isn't the case. Of course it is.

Only four people are in favor of doing this. And, of course, the politicians they have bought (of both parties), and now, also the people who hate everything Obama proposes.

That's the coalition who is urging us to crush the last thing in America that allows anyone to innovate on a completely equal footing.

I understand why those four guys want it. I even get why the politicians they bought want it. The rest of you? I will never understand.

I've Been Calling His Show This For Years

Father Knows Nothing

The pre-orders have been pouring in for "Father Knows Nothing" and I'd like to thank everyone who has already placed an order. If you'd like to pre-order your copy, you can get it here. I've been posting little teasers about what you can find in the book, and today I'll tell you about Chapter 3: Injuries, Sicknesses, and Close Calls.

Perhaps the most entertaining part of that chapter (in retrospect only) is the story of this photograph. Two broken bones at the same time. The typically graceful Kaempfer causes of those injuries, and the challenge of dealing with them simultaneously, provides the (unbroken) backbone of Chapter 3.

History of Veteran's Day

Stan Hyde

Sorry I've been sort of off the grid for the past few days. I've been spending most of my time with my wife Bridget's family, taking care of the many details surrounding the wake and funeral of my father-in-law, Stan Hyde. That's a picture of him from happier times.

I want to thank everyone who came out to the wake and funeral, and those of you who sent flowers. The family greatly appreciates it.

The last thing Stan said to me was "Rick, will you please write my eulogy?" I've written and delivered quite a few eulogies over the past twenty years (unfortunately), but this is the first time the dying person asked me personally. I hope the eulogy lived up to his expectations.

RIP Stan.

MLB investigating Cubs for tampering

The Rays have accused the Cubs of tampering with their former manager Joe Maddon, so MLB is going to investigate.

SI has the details.

Look at that cute little Cubbie. He wouldn't tamper, would he?

Net Neutrality

There was a huge announcement by the president yesterday regarding Net Neutrality...



Even the FCC Chairman, who came from the telecommunications industry, has now openly come out on the right side for the first time...

The President's statement is an important and welcome addition to the record of the Open Internet proceeding. Like the President, I believe that the Internet must remain an open platform for free expression, innovation, and economic growth. We both oppose Internet fast lanes. The Internet must not advantage some to the detriment of others. We cannot allow broadband networks to cut special deals to prioritize Internet traffic and harm consumers, competition and innovation.

For those of you who automatically hate anything the president says, just because he is the one saying it, try to take a deep breath and listen to what is really happening here. There are only four or five people in the world who REALLY want this new internet that charges a premium to companies with deep pockets (and allows everyone else to have a slower internet)--the CEOs of the cable providers. Every other business in America is happy about this ruling. Not just private citizens (the nearly 4 million who wrote in)--businesses. It's a no-brainer that is only opposed by four or five companies and people who are allowing themselves to be convinced simply because the wrong guy is in favor of it.

Don't be one of those people. It takes zero effort to poke holes in the flimsy arguments presented by the opposition to this.

This is about one thing, and one thing only--an equal opportunity internet.

Concert for Valor

There's a huge concert tonight in Washington to honor our veterans on Veterans Day. From the RAMP Newsletter...

In a massive Veterans Day salute to our nation's brave military personnel past and present, HBO, Starbucks and Chase proudly present The Concert For Valor, a huge live music event happening tonight on The Mall in Washington, DC. The Concert For Valor is the first-of-its kind event that is designed to bring artists, celebrities and millions of Americans together to honor the courage and sacrifice of our brave veterans, active-duty service members and their families. Artists scheduled to perform include The Black Keys, Bruce Springsteen, Carrie Underwood, Dave Grohl, Eminem, Jennifer Hudson, Jessie J, Metallica, Rihanna and Zac Brown Band. Among the special guests on the program are Meryl Streep, Jamie Foxx, John Oliver, Jack Black, Bryan Cranston, George Lopez and Bob Woodruff as well as tributes from Tom Hanks, Steven Spielberg, Oprah Winfrey, Will Smith, Reese Witherspoon and others.

John Landecker in Morris

The Daily Herald has a nice piece on the John Landecker book signing at the Morris library over the weekend.

Sounds like he was a big hit.

One Town That Won't Let You Down

Tribune Lets Jim Wiser Go

Bad call, Tribune.

Robert Feder has the details.

Wiser will be picked up by someone, and probably very soon. He's one of the very best producers in the biz.

RIP Stan Hyde

Sad news in our family this week. My father-in-law Stan Hyde passed away. Wake is on Sunday, and the funeral is on Monday.

The obituary is in the Sun Times this morning.

I'm working on the eulogy. This is going to be a tough one.

Al Roker's Early Days

Roker is going to try to break a Guinness record next week, doing a 34-hour weather forecast. No joke. Details are here at TV Newser.

Enjoyed this video of Al explaining his big break. It had something to do with his predecessor's misuse of the word "Front". Very entertaining.

ESPN Radio Wars

From this morning's Radio Ink...

Radio wars, for the most part, seem to be a thing of yesteryear. When they were in vogue, typically it pitted one competing radio station against another. On Wednesday, the radio war was between two hosts working for the same company. Bill Simmons seems to be a magnet for controversy lately. Yesterday he was called out by ESPN morning show co-host Mike Golic. Then, it was on. On the Colin Cowherd Show, Simmons said Lebron James was not as formidable as he was in Miami. Golic, on the Mike & Mike Show, said, “I think it’s one of the most ridiculous statements I’ve heard four games into a season in my life in any sport." Then, typical of how confrontations play out nowadays, the fight moved to Tweets and Simmons went on his second Twitter rant in just a few months. The first Tweet from Simmons: "What Mike and Mike did today was absolute garbage. I would say I lost respect for that show, but I never had it." Then another, "For an ESPN Radio show to pull an interview out of context from another ESPN Radio show, then play the moral authority card, is disgusting." And another, "Have the balls to call me to discuss it on the show. Don't pull it out of context just because you need fodder for a segment. Pathetic.

There's more at the link. I've always liked Golic, so my inclination is to side with him.

AC/DC drummer arrested

Some pretty serious charges too: Threatening to Kill, and possesion of drugs.

Rolling Stone has the story.

Read the statement from the band. They aren't exactly rallying to support him.

Martin Short Recalls His SNL Days

I love this excerpt from Martin Short's book. Salon titles it: "My Saturday Night Live Hell"

Highly recommended for any SNL or Martin Short fan.

Father Knows Nothing

These two boys conducted the single funniest conversation I ever heard. It took place when they were putting on their snow boots to go outside and play. All I can tell you about the subject matter is that they were discussing what kind of snow was appropriate to eat. I transcribed it at the time, and I'm so happy I did. You'll be able to read it in Chapter 2 of my upcoming book Father Knows Nothing.

It's available for pre-order now!

Classic Commercials from the 50s & 60s

Got a kick out of these...

Music Preference by State

Pandora did a breakdown of listener music habits by state or region, and there are some interesting findings.

Billboard Magazine has the details.

My favorite one is Oregon. They apparently prefer comedy.

Here Comes the PTC

Remember the Parents Television Council? With the Republicans back in power, the PTC is back to complaining about "outrageous" television programming. Details are here.

It's true that the F.C.C. has been pretty lax about pursuing indecency complaints against the networks, but 99 out of 100 Americans are fine with it. We understand that there really isn't much of a difference between network television and cable anymore, at least not to viewers. What's the difference between channel 3 or channel 400? Why should channel 3 be censored when channel 400 can say or do whatever they want? The days of people having only three networks and nothing else are long gone. In fact, all the studies show that kids don't even watch television anymore. They watch YouTube, and Netflix, and video games.

And if they do still watch TV, every television, and every remote, and every cable delivery service has parental controls built in. You can block the shows you don't want your kids to watch. And if you're an actual parent doing some actual parenting, you can tell your children what they can't watch, and you can enforce it yourself...as a parent. OR...and here's an even more radical idea...you can turn it off. Every television comes with a fancy new device called an off-switch.

This is why I get upset when I hear complaints about a "nanny state" because a seat belt law is passed, or I hear about "freedom" being in danger because you have to get health insurance. The very same people who complain the loudest about that, want to control and censor what you can see or hear...because they believe everything needs to be reduced to something an eight year old can watch without supervision.

Why? Because they are apparently completely unable to parent. And they have the gall to use the word "parent" in their name.

The Continuing Saga of Casey Kasem

The poor man has been dead since June and still isn't buried (and his body is in Norway for some reason), and now there's a fight over the insurance money. Here's the way the RAMP Newsletter explains the situation...

The seemingly endless showdown between Casey's three children from his first marriage vs. his second wife, Jean is now headed for court. And yes, it's about $2 million in life insurance money. TMZ recently reported that MetLife actually filed the lawsuit, telling the judge the company is confused as to which party should get the insurance payout. Both Jean Kasem and Casey's adult children Kerri, Michael and Julie have laid claim to the money; however, MetLife doesn't want to make the wrong decision and then have to pay out twice, so the insurance giant wants a judge to decide who gets the money. Casey's kids hired a lawyer, who fired off a letter to MetLife reiterating their earlier allegation that Jean essentially killed Casey by neglecting his care during his later days (including spiriting him out of a Santa Monica care facility and driving him up to Washington State), resulting in fatal bedsores and dehydration which lead to his death on June 15 at St. Anthony Hospital in Gig Harbor, WA. It is the contention of Casey's kids that a person who causes someone else's death can't inherit that person's money. Here's hoping that all of this heartache can be resolved soon, and maybe someday, Casey can finally rest in peace.

Tribune Publishing

When the Tribune broke off it's newspapers into a seperate company a few months ago (Tribune Publishing), experts speculated that the new company would have a rough go of it. Yesterday they released their first earnings report since the split.

Tribune Publishing operated at roughly break even, recording a tiny net loss (less than a tenth of a percent) on revenues of $404 million. Advertising revenues were down 9.5 percent compared to the same quarter in 2013 when the company was a division of Tribune. National advertising was a particular culprit, down 17.1 percent for the quarter and 12 percent year to date.

It's actually not a terrible first report, considering. On the other hand, I'd look for some layoffs based on the following statement from their CEO...“We have much work to do to get operating margins in line with our peers."

Father Knows Nothing

Today's Father Knows Nothing tease: Chapter 1 is called "This wasn't in the job description." Discover how this angelic sleeping 3-year-old boy used a dime to cost me $1200, managed to get captured by his overalls and some neighbors down the street (2 seperate incidents), and had a pre-school graduation ceremony that his teachers are almost certainly still talking about nearly ten years later thanks to a very bad, bad, pre-school dad.

Father Knows Nothing can be pre-ordered today!

The book ships right after Thanksgiving.

Non-Political Story

Went looking for a non-political story today, and finally found this:

Donkey stuck in manhole in Switzerland.

Not a cartoon Democratic donkey. An actual donkey.

David Letterman on Last Night's Election

Pretty good joke...

“This is what happens when we have the midterm elections. The Republicans, of course, have turned against Obama, and the Democrats have also turned against Obama. That’s a lonely, lonely gig being president, ladies and gentlemen. Take a look at this: gas under $3 a gallon – under $3 a gallon. Unemployment under 6%, whoever thought? Stock market breaking records every day. No wonder the guy is so unpopular.”

My Favorite Moment of Election Coverage

I performed my civic doody yesterday (homophone intended), and I also watched my share of the election coverage.

I didn't see this live because I was watching another channel, but this moment on MSNBC was the best moment of last night's election coverage.

It involves Tom Brokaw, a phone alarm, and a pretty good recovery. TV Newser has the video at the link above.

Father Knows Nothing Bonus Audio

The introduction to Father Knows Nothing (available for pre-order now–right here), features a few highlights from my radio days. My kids were part of the John Records Landecker show on WJMK from the moment they were born. Their births were recorded and played on the air, and I phoned into the show from the delivery room to provide live reports.

The two oldest boys were also regularly featured beginning at the age of 2 or so. A few highlights that didn’t make the book are posted today at the Eckhartz Press blog.

Election Day

Very excited about this election. Not because I like any of the candidates, but because the end of this election will finally mean an end to the constant advertising bombardment that has ruined every ballgame for me since around July. I swear I can't take it for one more day.

I love this guy!

The Cubs introduced their new manager Joe Maddon at a press conference yesterday at the Cubby Bear.

After answering all the questions, Maddon bought all the reporters there a shot and a beer.

My kind of people.

Bruce Wolf

My latest Illinois Entertainer media column has been posted. This month I interviewed WLS Radio's Bruce Wolf

You can read it here.

Some Love for Father Knows Nothing

Thanks so much to Larz at Chicagoland Radio & Media for writing this nice piece about Father Knows Nothing: Former Chicago Radio Producer Rick Kaempfer Releasing Humorous Book About Parenting.

I wasn't expecting that at all. I hadn't even spoken with him. What a pleasant surprise!

When you gotta go, you gotta go

Countdown to Father Knows Nothing

My book "Father Knows Nothing" went on pre-sale over the weekend. (http://eckhartzpress.com/shop/father-knows-nothing/) It features humorous stories about my parenting experience, but there are also a handful of tales about my own childhood, including the stories behind these two pictures. The first one involves Hansel & Gretel, and the second one takes place in the mountains near Salzburg, Austria. The co-star in these stories is my sister Cindy Kaempfer.

Real Life Imitates the Movies

Remember the movie "Disclosure" starring Demi Moore and Michael Douglas? It was about a female executive who sexually harrassed a male employee. It allegedly has happened in real life...in radio, no less. From Tom Taylor's NOW column this morning...

Fired male staffer sues Cox for alleged sexual harassment by his female supervisor. Michael D. Koerner says Cox Media Group “was fully aware of this woman’s misconduct as regards to over-sexualizing the workplace, and took no action to stop it.” Lawsuits like this depend on specific incidents to document a “hostile working environment,” and here are some of Koerner’s examples – That at the Houston Rodeo in 2011, “Mr. Koerner observed [GSM Jaymie Kosina] straddling a male client in the Cox suite and grabbing the man’s buttocks.” Later that evening, Koerner claims that Kosina “suddenly hugged him and tried to kiss him on the mouth.” He says he reminded her that he’s married and that his wife was in treatment for breast cancer. There was at least one other incident of an attempted kiss, during a corporate training meeting in Atlanta. The suit claims that things got strange “almost as soon as he began his employment.” That Kosina ”constantly discussed her breasts and would massage them.” One time, she allegedly flashed him on the way to a client’s grand opening, and Koerner says he told a co-worker about it, who supposedly reported it to corporate. Koerner says that shortly after that episode, Kosina and market manager Mark Krieschen began to question his sales results and “commitment to the team.” Then there was an alleged “retaliatory termination.”

Chris Rock on SNL

As usual, Chris Rock killed...

Father Knows Nothing Available for Pre-Order Now!

Father Knows Nothing is available for pre-order now. Click here to order your copy. The book ships out the day after Thanksgiving, in plenty of time for Christmas!

Countdown to Father Knows Nothing: The Halloween Grinch

Even though the City of Chicago once used my kids in their "Chicagoween" brochure (thanks to the recently departed Cindy Gatziolis), one of my boys (Tommy) has always hated Halloween. You can see him in this Chicagoween picture...dressed an accountant.

I wrote this piece for NWI Parent magazine several years ago. It didn't quite make the cut for the "Father Knows Nothing" book, but it gives you a pretty good taste of the book's tone. It's available for pre-order beginning tomorrow.


THE HALLOWEEN GRINCH


Everyone loves Halloween. Everyone you’ve met. Everyone you’ve seen.

But not in our house high above Booville. The Halloween Grinch is living there still.

He won’t wear a costume. He won’t trick or treat. He won’t even hand out candy to people he meets.

The Grinch hates Halloween - the whole Halloween season. Now, please don't ask why; no one quite knows the reason.

I’ve given up trying to figure it out. I’ve given up asking him what it’s about.

For though I’m the Grinch’s father, I have two more boys. They both love Halloween candy, and they both love Halloween toys.

They love wearing the costumes, and ringing the bell. And I always love going along as well.

I love watching their joy as the candy goes plop, from the first house we visit until we finally stop.

But because the Halloween Grinch is the one left at home, he won’t answer the door when he’s all alone.

So we end up with candy that isn’t given away, and then I’m left alone with a candy buffet.

Last year I decided to put an end to that. There’s no need for Dad to get doughy and fat.

So I sent the Halloween Grinch to his room, and I manned the door beginning at noon.

I was determined to hand out every Twix and KitKat, and I didn’t care what the Grinch said about that.

I sent the two younger boys out all alone, but before they left our little home, I made sure they knew to watch out for each other, as they trick or treated dressed as the Mario Brothers.

“OK, who can tell me what the buddy system is?” Sean raised his hand. He was ready for this quiz.

“We have to stick together,” he said. His big brother nodded, and both of them fled.

“It will never work,” said the Grinch from his room. “Those two will fight wearing those costumes.”

But for fifteen great minutes I handed out Twix, to all the Boos who wanted treats and tricks.

Until one little boy dressed up as a Q-tip, had a paper mustache attached to his lip.

It looked very much like the ones I made that day, for the two little boys that I just sent away.

He told me he got it just down the street. It was lying on a driveway, on the concrete.

Mario and Luigi had ripped off their stashes, in between punches, and lunges, and smashes.

They were fighting over who got to ring the doorbell, and needless to say, it didn’t turn out too well.

I marched out to the sidewalk, and what did I see? Mario and Luigi coming home to me.

The two crying boys running on asphalt, both were screaming “It was all his fault!”

While I broke up the fight on my front lawn, I looked at the window, and you know who I saw?

The Halloween Grinch.

In Booville they say that the Grinch's Halloween smile grew three sizes that day.

With that smile on his face, he wandered our way, and he had a few things that he wanted to say.

“Next year, I volunteer to supervise, but I won’t wear a costume or a silly disguise. I still hate the concept of Halloween, but next year I will be fourteen. That’s old enough not to have to participate, and as long as I don’t have to, everything will be great.”

I made the deal, and I’m looking forward to that.

It'll keep me away from the candy, so Dad won’t get fat.

Colbert's Last Show

He announced the date of his last show last night. From the Hollywood Reporter...

The date for his final show will be Thursday, Dec. 18. Colbert made the announcement on Thursday's show, as part of a pitch for the paperback release of America Again: Re-becoming the Greatness We Never Weren't. "Stephen Colbert, the guy you've seen here every night for nine years will be gone. All you'll have left of me is this book," Colbert said holding up the paperback. "So pick up America Again in paperback for a loved one. Or for a hated one. Go to your local independent book store, because I have a longtime war against Amazon, and I will never relent. Or — buy it on Amazon, because, you know, just buy it."

I can't wait to see what kind of a show he'll be doing on CBS. Will he be able to do a more mass appeal show? That's the (many) million dollar question.

Fall Back

Don't forget to change your clocks this weekend. We get an extra hour of sleep on Saturday night.

Sweet, sweet sleep. I didn't know you for so many years. So happy you're back in my life.

New Morning Man at WLS-FM

Steve Dahl is starting on Monday afternoon on WLS-AM (see video below), and now it appears a new disc jockey is joining the lineup at WLS-FM too, and he is starting on Monday too. His name is Jack Diamond. You may remember him from his one-week trial this summer. Details from the RAMP Newsletter...

"Jack's positivity, fun and endearing qualities match perfectly with our current morning lineup including air talent/meteorologist Brant Miller, Marty Jones with information/traffic updates and producer Dan Wolfe," said Jan Jeffries, who doubles as Cumulus SVP of Corporate/Programming and PD of WLS. "This will be the third radio tour for Jack and me working together, previously in Atlanta and Washington, DC. What seemed like a fun idea to have him sit-in on WLS FM mornings for a week this summer turned out to be a great idea. Welcome, Jack Diamond to 94-7 WLS!" Looking ahead to his upcoming Chicago adventure, Diamond said, "As a kid listening to the radio at night, WLS and WABC were the stations that sparked a desire to spend my life doing what those great personalities were doing from so many miles away. Pure magic. Hosting mornings at 94-7 WLS is not only a career dream-come-true, it brings my career full circle and is truly 'going home.' In a city with such great air talent through the years, it’s an honor to join them, past and present in Chicago.

Jack has worked everywhere, but his longest and most successful run was in Washington D.C. It appears that he's just being added to the lineup. No-one is being fired.

Steve is Back!

His show is on WLS beginning Monday. This is a pretty funny web commercial to announce it...

Photo Shoot

This summer Tommy, Johnny and I tried to recreate my favorite picture (from 15 years ago). We don't fit on the sidewalk anymore, and as you might imagine, the boys were not thrilled to stroll down memory lane with their old man. Their discomfort amuses me. The happier photo from 1999 will be on the back cover of Father Knows Nothing.

Father Knows Nothing

As we approach release date (pre-orders begin Saturday), Father Knows Nothing now has it's own page on the Eckhartz Press site, complete with a photo gallery, and it's own website, complete with chapter descriptions and audio goodies. Getting very excited. Meeting with the designer today to finish up interior details.

I just realized this morning that this is my first solo book since "$everance" (which came out in 2007). I'm a little nervous about having all the pressure on me this time.

I may actually need to leave my basement.

Political Advertising is Down?

From today's Tom Taylor NOW Newsletter, comes this surprising news...

2014 goes down as a disappointing election year for radio, despite the big groups like iHeart and Cumulus staffing up in Washington DC and elsewhere with politically-connected pros.

Radio expected MORE political advertising? It's already at an unbearable level right now. Can't a guy listen to a ballgame without politicians jumping into his living room or car to spew bile? Now that the World Series is over, my radio and television are OFF until Wednesday.

The Atlantic Partners with PBS News Hour

I'm always lamenting that there isn't any intelligent news to watch. Now, I'll find out if that's something I actually want or not. From Fishbowl NY...

The Atlantic is partnering with PBS’ NewsHour to produce broadcast adaptation’s of the magazine’s work. The series begins tonight, with NewsHour co-anchor Judy Woodruff and The Atlantic’s Hanna Rosin discussing Rosin’s cover story on teens and sexting.

“We’re excited to see our stories brought to broadcast, and honored to be working with the NewsHour to make it happen,” said James Bennet, The Atlantic’s president and editor-in-chief, in a statement. “No one in the business cares more about journalistic integrity and depth.”

OK viewers. It's up to us to support this or we'll be stuck with the Fox News/MSNBC approach forever.

Prince on SNL

It sounds like this weekend's SNL will be worth a viewing. From today's RAMP Newsletter...

Prince is the musical guest on this week's Saturday Night Live, with host Chris Rock. What makes this particular Prince appearance so unusual is that it was announced that, instead of following the show's 40-year tradition of two separate performances, Prince will be breaking format and will perform one single (and awesome) "eight-minute long jam session." All we know is that Prince will be accompanied by his kick-ass female backing band 3RDEYEGIRL, with whom he recorded his two new albums, Art Official Age and PlectrumElectrum.

Count me in. I'm a big fan of both Rock and Prince.

Jose's finger

Jose Canseco is in the news again. This time for nearly shooting off his finger. From the LA Times...

The shooting happened about 3 p.m. while Canseco was cleaning his gun at the kitchen table. There was still a round in the chamber in the handgun because Canseco had recently visited the shooting range, Knight said.

“I heard the gun go off and saw his middle finger hanging by a string,” she said.

Canseco shot his middle finger on his left hand.

In the future all finger swearing will have to be done with his right hand.

Cindy Gatziolis

It was a like a Loop reunion last night at Cindy Gatziolis' wake. Despite the sad reason for joining together it was nice to catch up with people I haven't seen in a long time. Cindy would have been so happy to see us all there for her: Stan Lawrence, Brendan Sullivan, Jim Wiser, Anne-Marie Kennedy, Dina Travis Sanchez, Steve Dahl, Janet Joliat Dahl, Neil Sant, Bill Holub, Dave Logan, Garry Meier, Wendy Snyder, Leslie Keiling, Geli Corbett, Artie Kennedy, John Pugs, Cara Carriveau, Kent Lewin, John Bell, Terry Bell, Tricia Mladic, Fina Rodriguez, Colleen Nicholson Manzella, and Les Grobstein were all there in the evening, and I'm sure there were many more earlier (and some I'm forgetting in my pre-coffee haze...my apologies). I also saw a ton of WLS people who were having a reunion of their own (Cindy also worked there), and people from the other places she worked. The Mayor sent flowers, and so did the White Sox. It was a packed house for a beloved lady. May she rest in peace.

The Radio Hall of Fame

For the first time ever, the ceremony will NOT be held in Chicago this year. From the RAMP Newsletter...

The National Radio Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony is coming to Los Angeles for the first time on Sunday, November 9. Class of 2014 inductees include Charlie & Harrigan, Barry Farber, Ira Glass, Stanley E. Hubbard, Jon Miller, Agnes Moorehead and Dick Orkin. The black-tie optional dinner and live national broadcast begin at 4pm at the swanky Cicada in downtown Los Angeles. Premiere Networks' own Delilah will host the festivities, and Westwood One's Jim Bohannon will serve as the broadcast’s announcer. The event will feature live performances by Melissa Etheridge and Ingrid Michaelson as well as a special tribute to the late, legendary Casey Kasem.

Dick Orkin, if I'm not mistaken, was in the NAB Hall of Fame already, but renounced his spot there when Rush Limbaugh spouted off about something. (I talked to Dick about that when I interviewed him for Chicago Radio Spotlight). I know Orkin is working on a book, and that's something I'm eager to read when it's finished. I did an interview with his co-writer a few months ago.

Reading Excerpts From Father Knows Nothing

I'm debuting portions of my new book today to a captive audience. They don't know it, but a fifth/sixth grade class in Palatine will be the first to hear excerpts from Father Knows Nothing later this morning.

I'm occasionally asked to speak to school kids about writing, but I've never really had material that was appropriate for kids before. Now I do.

Should be a good test. Kids are always honest.

Billy Joel's Women

Billy Joel is a gazillionaire, but one area in life where he's never been successful is his love life.

This piece in the New York Post is a fascinating examination of his three wives.

It's called "How Billy Joel's 3 Wives Stole His Heart and His Money". The story about presenting "Just the Way You Are" to his first wife (as a birthday present) is a good one. She said: "Do I get the publishing?"

Nice, eh?

Chicago Radio Ratings

I'm so happy I'm not in radio anymore. The ratings used to come out every four months, and you had at least a moment or two to breathe between spankings. Now they come out every month. I do like the way Robert Feder is posting them these days...by daypart.

Top Ten Mornings
(BBM News Radio is #1)

Top Ten Afternoons
(Doug Banks is #1)

Most Embarrassing Injury Ever

I didn't watch the Bears game on Sunday. I'm so happy I didn't.

How bad was it? Bears defensive lineman Lamarr Houston tore his ACL celebrating a sack...when the Bears were 25 points behind.

Now, that's embarrassing.

Joke for a Tuesday morning

Thanks to "SFG" for this one...

A woman takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work.

One day, her 9-year-old son hides in the closet during one of her romps. Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she hides the lover in the closet.

The little boy says, “it’s dark in here.”
The man whispers, “yes, it is.”
“I have a baseball,” the boy responds.
“That’s nice.”
“Want to buy it?”
“No, thanks.”
“My dad’s outside.”
“Okay, how much?”
“$250.”

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom’s lover end up in the closet together.

“It’s dark in here,” the boy begins.
“Yes, it is.”
“I have a baseball glove.”
The man thinks about the last time they were in the closet together, and decided to cut to the chase — “How much?”
“$750.”
“Fine.”

A few days later, the father says to the boy, “grab your ball and glove. Let’s go outside and play some catch!”
“I can’t. I sold them.”
“How much did you sell them for?”
“$1,000,” the boy replies, smilingly widely.
His father responds, “it’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That’s way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church to confess.”

The two go to church, and the boy’s father escorts him to the confession booth. Once inside, the boy states, “it’s dark in here.”
The priest replies, “don’t start that crap again!”

RIP Cindy Gatziolis

A dear friend of mine passed away over the weekend, Cindy Gatziolis. Robert Feder has a very nice write up about her in his column today. Cindy and I met when we both worked at the Loop in the late 80s/early 90s. (I think this is a photo from a Loop Christmas party circa 1992 or so). She was the promotions director there, when I was Steve & Garry's producer.

I interviewed her about her professional career at Chicago Radio Spotlight a few years ago (in 2008), but Cindy was much more than a great public relations person with an impressive resume.

To know her was to love her. I always believed the secret to her popularity amongst her relatives, friends, colleagues, and acquaintances was simple: She genuinely cared about people.

Before Bridget and I had kids we hung out with Cindy all the time. After Tommy arrived on the scene, Cindy was a big help. We stayed in touch long after we no longer worked together or lived near each other. When I was producing John Landecker's show on WJMK, I told her on the phone that I was nervous about our first gig for Landecker and the Legends. She showed up that night at PJ Flaherty's on the south side to lend support. When Swany and I released "The Radio Producer's Handbook", Cindy was the first in line to buy it at our first book signing--despite having just finished her first round of cancer treatments. She told me it was the day she debuted her wig in public. I never forgot that gesture.

Cindy and I bonded on another level. She was a closeted writer. She wrote some wonderful stories and sent them to me to critique. At one point we even met to work on a screenplay together--but life just got in the way.

At the time of her death, Cindy was working on a book about coping with cancer. She sent me the first few chapters a couple of months ago. I love the passion, anger, and insight of the first chapter's very first line. It says it all in bold capital letters: FUCK CANCER.

Believe me, Cindy, when we heard the news this weekend, we all said the same thing. It's just not fair that a beautiful person has been taken from us at the way too young age of 56.

The last time I saw her, she could no longer eat food and was on an all-liquid IV diet. She couldn't have weighed more than 70 pounds, but when she talked to us it was obvious the real Cindy was still there. Her voice was strong, her mind was sharp, and all she wanted to talk about was what was going on in our lives. We were joking and ribbing each other like we always had. When I finally got the courage to ask about her prognosis, she tried to be as upbeat as possible, but I could tell that she knew.

I hugged her when we left, and she thanked me: "I know you Germans don't hug". Her goodbye to us was more than a "I'll see you later." It was goodbye, and we all knew it. She sent me a few text messages the past few months, but the last time I texted her to check on her, Cindy didn't answer. I've been bracing myself for this day, but when I heard the news it still felt like a punch in the gut.

I spent all night trying to figure out a way to pay tribute to her, but I knew I couldn't properly paint a picture of how wonderful she was. So, I decided to do something I know she would have approved of. I'm featuring something she wrote to show you what a good writer she was.

One of the things we always teased each other about was the Cubs/Sox rivalry. Cindy was the biggest White Sox fan I ever met. In fact, her last post on facebook was a tribute to Paul Konerko on his last day with the Sox. When they won the World Series, I asked Cindy to write a piece explaining what it meant. This is what she sent me...

The White Sox won the World Series!
By Cindy Gatziolis


Hey did you hear, the White Sox won the World Series.

Now Cub fans, don’t get all crazy that I’m bragging. I’m still trying to believe it.

You hope your whole fandom that it will happen and each year you utter the proverbial “wait til”…well you know.

I’m often asked how I became a Sox fan, especially when people hear that I didn’t grow up on the south side (by the way Fox broadcasting—south side is two words) and neither did my parents. Dad was a westsider and mom was a way westsider as in Idaho.

I am a White Sox fan because it’s in my DNA not unlike my brown eyes. I am a White Sox fan because it is part of my heritage just like being of Greek descent.

Dad and his brothers George and Pete were White Sox fans. And those three men begat families of Sox fans. Dad even converted mom who used to be the diplomat and say she rooted for both teams. She showed her true colors in the South Side Hit Men summer of ’77 by entering or leaving a room depending on the team’s actions. Ironically, that was her last summer to follow the team.

Pete died in the summer of ’59 so he didn’t even see that World Series. Dad passed in the summer of ’94, the strike shortened season. He would have been very disappointed in baseball had he seen that happen.

Uncle George is still with us and when I spoke to him after the White Sox won the World Series, he was as happy as a kid.

My three siblings and I have many similarities but even more vast differences. Some of it in how we vote, some in how we work, and most certainly in what we all chose as professions. But our one shared emotion is a love of the White Sox.

The next generation is on board as well, my brother’s sons and my sister’s daughter. I give a lot a credit to my sister for indoctrinating her daughter who was born in Los Angeles and has spent nearly 10 years living in Connecticut, Yankee and Red Sox territory. Imagine my delight in hearing that Marinna, as an 8 year-old, set one little girlfriend straight who thought there was no such thing as White Sox…only Red Sox. East Coast bias anyone?

Last fall, the Gatziolis clan lived a dream, a dream shared by many a family. And while many have jumped on the bandwagon and seats will be harder to come by, we can take pride in that we were there long before it became fashionable.

I was on the verge of being a teenager when I spotted some cute guys in baseball uniforms such as Pitcher Bart Johnson, Second Baseman Mike Andrews and a gorgeous third baseman named Bill Melton. I can remember rushing home in September of 1971 to find out if he had the home run that would give him that year’s title. He did, and last summer, because of my line of work, I had Bill Melton in my car. I’ll never wash that seat again.

Through my nearly four decades of fandom, I never wavered. Eric Soderholm responded to my letter on biofeedback for the paper I was doing in college. Carlton Fisk became my annual early round choice in my rotisserie baseball league. Robin Ventura was the number 23 that I adored in this city.

Mom and I saw the game in which Dick Allen hit a home run to centerfield. I was able to really treat my dad to a great game when I worked at WGN Radio, which had great seats in the box next to the Daleys and two rows behind Chuck Comiskey. I think Dad was actually proud of me that day even though I’m pretty sure he couldn’t tell you what I did for a living.

In a softer gentler day, there was the time my sisters and I were headed to buy tickets and were stopped by a man asking us if we wanted his tickets. He was not a masher or a scalper, simply a businessman from Detroit (it was Tigers vs Sox) with extra tickets. Man those were great seats. It’s also the day I discovered the joy of focusing the binoculars on the Sox dugout. You could see Dick Allen smoking on the clubhouse steps.

Well, you can tell by this fan, that Sox fans are just as rabid as Cub fans. We may not be cute and cuddly. We’re not the hot babes in the bleachers that Arnie Harris always focused on. We’re just fans. We’re fans with this team because they’re part of our family. I often say, that with the exception of the living creatures in my life, and Farfo my stuffed dog who just turned 46, the White Sox are the most important thing in my life.

They connect me to my parents, my siblings and their children. And I hope that someday when I’m gone and one of those children has my seat from old Comiskey in their home, that it will be revered by their children as something special from Great Aunt Cindy and a cool connection to their favorite baseball team.

So take that Chris Berman.