Father Knows Nothing

I just posted my latest "Father Knows Nothing" column at NWI Parent. This week's entry is called "Explaining Sports." You can read it here.

Chicago Radio Spotlight: Buzz Kilman

This week's interview subject at Chicago Radio Spotlight is the newsman bluesman Buzz Kilman. He talks about his days with Steve & Garry and Brandmeier, as well as a few lesser known periods from his illustrious career. You can read the entire interview here.

Unfair to the British

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A Hall of Fame Mustache

On this date in 1852, this mustache was born. The Hall of Famer may have been the greatest Cubs player in history, and he still holds many Cubs records, but he also carries the shame of helping institute baseball's color barrier.

We'll tell that tale later this summer.

Cat vs. Pigeon

Ooooooh. So close.


Funny Reaction From Frustrated Cat - Watch more Funny Videos

Blago's advice for Lou Piniella

No, I'm not joking. He really wrote him with advice.

A funny ad...

...for the Boston Bruins.

Burt Hooten & The Octopus

On the same day that Burt Hooten was throwing a no-hitter for the Cubs in Wrigley Field (on this date in 1972), Antonio Alfonseca was born in La Romana, in the Dominican Republic. Magic must have been in the air.

Just A Thought

When you start equating a 3% raise in income tax for the richest Americans to the tyranny of the British Empire during the Revolutionary War and "Marxism," then you are a nut job.

Thank you for making it even more obvious for sane America.

Enjoy your tea parties.

We've been waiting for this moment to finally stage our nationwide invasion of your homes to steal your guns.

Britain's Got Talent

Watching this video makes me realize why the British version of this show is better than ours. Too much emphasis is placed on looks here. Here's what can happen when you look past that...

Raise A Statue for Ron

Garry Meier (WGN Radio) has been pushing for a statue for Ron Santo at Wrigley Field.

Hail to two powerful mustaches

On this date in 1976, this mustache hit the longest home run in Wrigley Field history. He was with the Mets at the time.


This mustache will have his number retired by the Cubs this year and will enter the gates of Baseball's Hall of Fame the second he is eligible. He's 43 years old today.

A Rick Kaempfer interview

I was interviewed by a literary website called "Bibleeohfile" this past weekend (about my novel $everance). If you'd like to read the interview, you can check it out here.

Father Knows Nothing

A new Father Knows Nothing column was posted last night at NWI Parent. This one is called "Cartoon Father" and it's about my oldest son Tommy's comic strip...and the unfortunate personal characteristics of his cartoon father (and mother).

JOBC Blog

If you haven't checked out the Just One Bad Century blog in the past few days, there are a few new posts that may interest you.

I'm doing a new feature now, going back 80 years, 40 years, 25 years, and 20 years (4 successful Cubs seasons) to see what was going on with the Cubs and society in general. You can read that here.

Also, this weekend in history marked a few important "Endings." You can read about the that here.

And finally, I did a little mini-feature on former Cubs announcer Milo Hamilton here.

Easter Weekend

Hope everyone has a nice Easter weekend.

I've got family coming to town and we'll be driving all over the place this weekend, so I'm not going to be posting on the blog. I'll be back on Monday with a new Father Knows Nothing column (and lots of other stuff).

Chicago Radio Spotlight will return next weekend. I've got a few good ones coming up.

Just One Bad Century will continue updating with new blog features every day (this weekend it will be a feature on Milo Hamilton and another feature I call "endings"), and This Week in 1908, not to mention our bonus Tale of a Bad Century.

Chuck Connors

A visit to the Just One Bad Century blog will get you the story of this crappy first baseman who once played for the Cubs.

Not sure what happened to him after his playing days were over. You may need to click on the link to find out.

Wow, Billy Bob is a jag!

People say to me: "Rick, that must have been great to meet all those celebrities when you worked in radio!" Well, yes and no. Most of them were very nice. Others were not...and that's being kind. For me, a few examples of people that weren't nice to me were Joan Collins, Harrison Ford, and Larry King (off the top of my head). There are many others, but those three in particular had a "I'm too good for you" vibe that made my skin crawl.

For this poor guy in the video below, it was Billy Bob Thornton. Consider this: Billy Bob is getting free publicity for his group, and he's still being a complete jerk. Imagine what he's like to people when he's not trying to put on a good face.

Watch the video and you'll see what I mean. I don't know the interviewer, but I have to give him credit. He handled this incredibly professionally. I found myself screaming at the video when I watched it, having flashbacks to my own career, when I wanted to grab an interview subject by the shirt, shake 'em, and say: "HEY PAL,I'M JUST DOING MY JOB HERE! GET OVER YOURSELF YOU NARCISSISTIC JAG!"

Who could forget...

...that magical spaghetti crop from 52 summers ago?

We can wait 100 years!

I can only post this on days that Kosuke has a good game. Otherwise, it ruins the whole song...

Birthday wishes

Three Chicago legends were born on this day...



One of the best pitchers in Cubs history, Hippo Vaughn, was born on this day in 1888. You may remember him from the 1918 World Series, and from the no-hitter he pitched (and lost).









The man who pitched the second best game in World Series history, Claude Passeau, was born on this day, exactly 100 years ago. He was the star of the 1945 World Series.









And finally, Chicago's very own Hugh Heffner was born on this day in 1926. That's right, do the math. Hef is 83 years old.

Zac Efron's Pool Party

Another funny video from Funny or Die....

Zac Efron's Pool Party from Zac Efron

If this doesn't make you smile...

...you're made out of stone.



Every baby has something wacky that makes them crack up. For my oldest boy Tommy it was the sound of paper ripping. For Johnny it was the word "Blah". For Sean it was the sound of a plate banging against the table.

Rich Koz' blog

Thanks to Rich Koz for mentioning our interview in his WCIU blog today. After reading this, it makes me think I need to take him out for a drink sometime to hear some of these stories. I'm sure we'd be playing "I can top that" when we start swapping "radio backstabber" stories. Ah, radio. Great biz.

"I try not to live in the past much, but, I had to revisit some of my old radio days as a favor to Rick Kaempfer, a twenty year radio veteran, producer/author/ radio historian, who asked me to answer some questions about my career for his “Chicago Radio Spotlight” website. You can take a look at the radio blog at the following address: http://chicagoradiospotlight.blogspot.com - maybe you’ll learn some stuff about me that you don’t know- or, don’t care about…

It seems like, coincidentally, I’ve heard from a lot of radio people lately, for various reasons. Radio, like television, has been going through a lot of changes- cutbacks, consolidations, shifting of personalities-and some of it is pretty confusing, even to the people who work in that medium. I always enjoyed working in radio, and, as I state in that question and answer session that you’ll find on the other end of the above link, I’d certainly like to do it again someday- but, I’ve also had some of the strangest business situations of my career that happened in the field of radio. I’ve also known some of the most devious back-stabbers I’ve ever seen in broadcasting lurking in radio.(Don’t worry, I’ve run across a few in TV as well- I think there’s a broadcasting law that we have to have equal-opportunity back-stabbers…) I know I wrote a previous blog about my radio days…I could write a lot more, but some of it might not be very complimentary to certain people, and I’m not the type to air out TOO much dirty laundry in a public forum…"

A Cubs Question

Bonnie writes...

"I have a question: What was the "home run sign" that Cubs fans used to execute in the bleachers when they wanted a home run? I read about this in the play Bleacher Bums but have not seen it or been able to find an explanation after pages and pages of google hits. Can you describe this?"

Anyone? Drop me an e-mail if you remember so I can write Bonnie back.

MJ at Wrigley

It happened on this day, 15 years ago. Michael Jordan played for the White Sox in an exhibition game against the Cubs at Wrigley Field.

He hit a double.

I was there, freezing my tush off in the upper deck with John Landecker.

Undefeated

1-0. Yeah, baby. First place. (I know this early season gloating drives Sox fans crazy...but it's all we've got.)

See if you can spot the one Cub in this video that shouldn't be there...

Melissa Forman

WLIT Morning Gal Melissa Forman is celebrating a birthday today. I interviewed Melissa, one of the nicest people you'll ever meet, about a year and a half ago for Chicago Radio Spotlight. If you'd like to read the interview it's here.

Note: There have been a few changes in her show since this interview. She no longer also hosts afternoons, and her newsman was let go in Clear Channel cutbacks earlier this year.

The Train Station's Alive with the Sound of Music

People make fun of me for my love of "The Sound of Music," but let's just say that I have hundreds of brothers and sisters in Antwerp. Watch this video and tell me it doesn't bring a smile to your face...



I've previously written about my Sound of Music brushes with greatness, including Julie Andrews and Charmain Carr (Liesl).

OPENING DAY!

Snow is on the ground, and that can mean only one thing. OPENING DAY!

Thank God the Cubs are in Houston and not Chicago...

Take a look at some of the highlights from opening day throughout this one bad century...



1909-1961

1962-2008

And here's my all-time favorite Opening Day moment. It happened in 1994...

Cremation Recap

Yesterday I spent the afternoon at a funeral home in Schaumburg, along with several hundred other Cubs fans, and we cremated the various different curses that have plagued the Cubs for the last 100 or so years.

Tom Dreesen did a bang up job as the MC. Several ex-Cubs were there to give some credibility to the pursuit, and a half dozen or so knuckleheads (like me) were on hand to deliver eulogies to the various different curses.

My speech is here is you'd like to read it.

My speech focused on the curse of the Lutheran Seminary, which Tom Dreesen accidentally introduced as the Lutheran Cemetery (I called him "Norm Crosby," a joke that only he seemed to get).

Anyway, I've been thinking about this Lutheran curse, and if there really is a Lutheran curse, how long would that last? Didn't Martin Luther tack a list of 95 grievances to the door of that Catholic church? If so, wouldn't he also have tacked a 95-year curse on the team that built a ballpark on his former seminary?

If you're doing the math at home, that means the curse was inflicted in 1914 (when Wrigley was built). Add 95 years to that, and you've got...2009.

Hmmmm.

The Onion's take on The Cubs

Always funny. Always sarcastic. The Onion nails the Cubs.

Father Knows Nothing

I just posted my latest "Father Knows Nothing" column at NWI Parent. This week's column is called "Forget Me Not" and it's about a knucklehead dad, that obviously forgot.

Chicago Radio Spotlight: Rich Koz

This week at Chicago Radio Spotlight, I interview the legendary "Svengoolie," Rich Koz. You can read the entire interview here.

An inferiority complex

That's what the AP headline says the Cubs have. I'd say the headline is all wrong, but the article is a pretty accurate assessment.

You can read the version the USA Today printed here.

Cremating the Curse!

If you're out and about on Sunday and looking for something to do, how about coming out to a funeral home for a fun event? That's right. You read that correctly.

It's being staged by George Rawlinson, the publisher of "Cubbie Blues: 100 years of waiting til next year." George is staging this event at Michael's Funeral Home in Schaumburg, and he's calling it "CREMATING THE CURSE!"

Comedian Tom Dreesen will MC the event, and an array of notable local Cubs celebrities will be on hand to deliver eulogies for the 100 years of losing (including me), as we actually cremate artifacts from the various different Cubs curses I've written about on this site, including Merkle, the Revenge of Martin Luther, the Goat, the Black Cat, and every other curse we can think of. (I found two new ones for my eulogy...we're taking no chances).

Please come on out and enjoy the festivities. It's a worthwhile fundraising event for Chicago Baseball Cancer Charities. All of the details about this event are here at the Can't Miss Press website.

Of course she's a Cubs fan

Presented without comment...


Hot Chick Loves The Cubs - Watch more Funny Videos

Three years ago today

How much has the world changed in three years?

On this date in 2006, George Bush threw out the first pitch at the Cubs opening day game and met Cubs manager Dusty Baker in the dugout.

Who do you miss more?

Watch the video here.

Marlon Brando

If he were alive today, he'd be 85 years old...

Signs written in English around the world

Contributed by "PH"



In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

In a Bangkok dry cleaner's: Drop your trousers here for best results.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.

In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

Glenn Beck Smackdown, Part 2

I love Stephen Colbert...

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E-mail, we get e-mails

I missed this yesterday. An April Fools Joke on WLS. From "AS"...

"So, I was listening to Mancow and Cassidy this morning (I know, I know. Don’t judge!) on WLS when Drew Peterson called in and punked Mancow for April Fool’s. While I would normally think that this is hilarious, the fact that it was Drew Peterson doing the “gotcha,” made my skin crawl. Not to mention that that he claimed that he was going to “confess” something on the air. Isn’t that like O.J. telling Nicole and Ron jokes? That ruins the whole thing for me!

I must say, it was very well played, though.

Of course, they could have set it all up with Peterson to punk the audience, since they’re supposedly “church buddies,” but I have a feeling that Mancow was genuinely pissed off. There was dead silence except for the dial tone for a good 15 seconds after Peterson hung up, followed by Pat Cassidy trying to smooth things over with a stammering Mancow. Throughout the whole thing, I kept thinking, “Is he crazy? No WAY is that guy going to confess anything on the radio!” So, it may well have been an audience punking, because I can’t imagine the guys at WLS being that gullible…..wait….these are the same folks that put Blago on the air this week. Forget I said that."

Herman Franks

Sad news yesterday; former Cubs manager Herman Franks passed away at the age of 95. The Tribune did a nice obit for him.

My favorite Herman Franks story is one I have told a few times at Just One Bad Century. Herman was old school, in the Leo Durocher mold (read the obit to see where Leo mentored him), and he couldn't deal with the crybaby players on the 1979 Cubs. At the end of the season he resigned because they were "selfish, coddled and uninspired."

"Some of these players are actually crazy. They don't want to talk to the newspaper people, and they want separate buses for themselves and reporters. It's silly things like this that get you fed up."

He singled out Bill Buckner, Ted Sizemore, Barry Foote and Mike Vail as the worst of the "whiners."

Wish we had a dozen more managers like Herman Franks. May he rest in peace.

Rick is leaving the basement!

I'm actually making a personal appearance tonight to promote the book "Cubbie Blues: 100 years of waiting until next year." This is not an April Fools joke.

Here are the details from the "Reading Under the Influence" website...

Join us from 7-10 p.m. on Weds., April 1 for Cubbie Blues, featuring readings and trivia games by contributors to the "Cubbie Blues: 100 Years of Waiting till Next Year" anthology, including Cubs' blogger extraordinaire Rick Kaempfer (JustOneBadCentury.com), short story writer Christine Sneed (Best American Short Stories 2008, Other Voices and more), author/playwright Mary Beth Hoerner ("Atomic Honeymoon"), Windy City Story Slam founder Bill Hillmann, Sheffield's owner Ric Hess and RUI's Julia Borcherts. As always, we're in the back room at Sheffield's, 3258 N. Sheffield Ave. There's a $3 cover.

Rick's note: Yes, there will be alcoholic beverages served there, hence the name of the event ("Reading Under the Influence"). Stop by if you're in the neighborhood. It should be fun.

Cremating the Curse!

Channel 2 did a story about our event on Sunday. I'll be there too.

Watch Bill Zwecker report the story here.

There's more than one way to rock

If you're looking for Suburban Man, where have you been? Suburban Man is now known as "Father Knows Nothing" and it's posted every Sunday at NWI Parent. In case you missed this week's, here it is: "There's more than one way to Rock!"

The anti-perkiness drug

This is hilarious...



(Warning: one bad word is used in the video)

Tudor Role Play?

My friend (actual friend, not Facebook friend) Dave is a recent convert to Facebook, and has discovered a whole weird world out there. Dave likes to "friend" dead people. For instance, he has at least a dozen dead presidents in his roster. (I'm a little pickier than he is...I stole Thomas Jefferson as a friend, but Franklin Pierce just isn't going to cut it.)

Most of these people do it for fun, but some, are deadly serious. His advice: Don't "friend" Anne Boleyn. He commented on her page that she was slightly depressing constantly talking about the way Henry slights her, and she responded thusly...

"If you are not a member of our Tudor role play, then you are asked in future never to comment on a status or post on any active characters wall. This is just a bit of fun for us and we are politely telling those not involved to butt out. Messages may be sent to inboxes only. Failure to adhere to this and you will simply be removed as a friend. Anne Boleyn. England. Uk."

I think Dave would be more upset if he didn't know Anne's eventual fate.

A "Dear John" note to Facebook

My friend and fellow fantasy baseball fan JR wrote the following note to Facebook. It cracked me up, so I thought I'd share it with you here...



"Dear Facebook:

You know that you and I have a wonderful relationship. In fact, some would say that you and I are spending too much time together. Well, I am sorry to say, that I will be leaving you for another. Yes, the fantasy baseball commish has loaded the rosters for our fantasy baseball league. I know, same day service like that is something you usually only get when you fill out your inane "What kind of Superhero are you?" quizzes, but I long to stare at something more. The roster grid for the fantasy baseball league will fill that void, and make me think about a different kind of "Top 5" all together"...Thanks to CBSSpportsline, I can now say this with confidence....Facebook - you and I are gonna have to see other people. It's not you, its me."

E-mail, we get e-mails...

"MB" wrote regarding my Cloris Leachman post...

"Young Frankenstein was on AMC last night. Cloris is untouchable, but Hackman always cracks me up!"

"You must have been tallest in your class."




Here's the whole 4-minute scene...

Father Knows Nothing

I just posted my latest "Father Knows Nothing" column at NWI Parent. It's called "There's more than one way to rock."

You can read it here.

A letter from Charlie Root's daughter

I've been having an e-mail exchange with Della Arnold (photo), the daughter of Cubs great Charlie Root. I told her that one thing I really admired about her dad was his toughness, and this is what she replied...

"The first batter Dad faced in the Majors was Ty Cobb,whom Dad had heard of for some time...It was l924 and he had just come up from Terre Haute....Cobb was hugging the plate, so Dad's pitch was under his chin...Cobb threatened him by yelling and waving his bat...the next pitch was in the same spot and Cobb stormed the mound calling Dad "a fresh bush bastard and threatening to kill him...Cobb was closely followed by catcher Hank Severeid who was yelling at Cobb.."You lay one hand on that kid and I'll beat you to death with this mask...which as you know in those days had a solid iron frame...Cobb returned to the plate and Dad struck him out....This was in 1924 when Dad his first chance with the St. Louis Browns.....He lost 4 games and won NONE...He then broke his right ankle sliding into third...So the Browns traded him to Los Angeles Angels, then in the Pacific Coast League....which was a farm team for the Cubs...When he told that story he always said he was nervous, and scared to death, but he always had a reputation for "dusting" when needed...."

How great is that?

Chicago Radio Spotlight: Jack Silver

This week I interview former Loop program director Jack Silver at Chicago Radio Spotlight.

Jack, who once fired me (and the whole Ebony & Ivory show) with a memo that said: "Gents, it's not working out," has just been fired from his programming job in LA.

Read the whole interview here.

Programming Note

I haven't been blogging quite as much this week because all three boys are home for spring break this week. I'll return to normal next week.

Tomorrow I'll be posting an interview at Chicago Radio Spotlight with Jack Silver, former program director of the Loop in Chicago, and former VP/Programming for CBS Radio. It should be a good one.

Sunday I'll have a new Father Knows Nothing column.

Until then, I have fights to break up. Hope you understand.

1979

One of my favorite Smashing Pumpkins songs in honor of today's Just One Bad Century feature...

Reading Under the Influence

A week from tonight (April 1st, 7-10 PM) I'll be appearing at Sheffield's in Chicago to participate in an event called "Reading Under the Influence." This is to promote our new Cubs book "Cubbie Blues." I'll be reading my essay from the book, as well as a famous published piece about the Cubs, and then, I'll be asking the audience trivia questions. Five other authors are also participating.

Did I mention that it's called "Reading Under the Influence" because the readers do actual shots before reading, and the audience is encouraged to drink? (Still wondering how they got me to actually leave my basement?) I'd love to see some friendly faces in the audience, so come on by. We'll be in the back room of Sheffield's, which is at 3258 N. Sheffield Ave. The cover charge is only $3, and it sounds like it's going to be a lot of fun.

To read more about it, check out the Reading Under the Influence website here.

Share Just One Bad Century via Facebook

Last week we got a Facebook widget on my "$everance" page. This week we got one on Just One Bad Century. If there's a story you see on Just One Bad Century that you think is worth sharing (I think today's is pretty good...but I'm biased), please share away!

The real story of my thumb injury...

...is told in the current issue of NWI Parent Magazine. You can read it here.

By the way, the cast is off and I'm almost back to normal. Two more weeks and I'll get a clean bill of health.

And if you missed it on Sunday, my latest Father Knows Nothing is called "A message from Sean's attorney." It addresses the real financial crisis...the money mysteriously disappearing from my wallet.

Fantasy Baseball

I know not everyone is a fantasy baseball fan. I happen to love it, but I understand why you might consider the whole thing a bit of a joke (I'm married to one of you).

I was sent this video by Mark Bazer, who is a writer at Tribune Media Services. This is a sketch he and Justin Kaufman from Shadenfreude.net did on stage at the Hideout in Chicago about fantasy baseball. I happen to think it's pretty funny, but if you don't get fantasy baseball, you might not.

Cremating the Curse!

I have to tell you about a great event I'll be participating in on April 5th. It's being staged by George Rawlinson, the publisher of "Cubbie Blues: 100 years of waiting til next year." George is staging this event at Michael's Funeral Home in Schaumburg, and he's calling it "CREMATING THE CURSE!"

Comedian Tom Dreesen will MC the event, and an array of notable local Cubs celebrities will be on hand to deliver eulogies for the 100 years of losing (including me), as we actually cremate artifacts from the various different Cubs curses I've written about on this site, including Merkle, the Revenge of Martin Luther, the Goat, the Black Cat, and every other curse we can think of.

Please come on out and enjoy the festivities. It's also a worthwhile fundraising event for Chicago Baseball Cancer Charities. All of the details about this event are here at the Can't Miss Press website.

The Wrigley Marquee

Now this is trivia. 49 years ago today, the Cubs painted that Wrigley Field marquee red. Before 1960, it was green.

The Roe Report

According to Tom Taylor at Radio-Info.com, Roe Conn will also be one of the replacements for Paul Harvey...

"Look for this to be announced out of the same market where Harvey himself originated - Chicago. The 20-year WLS (890) personality Roe Conn will offer short morning columns starting as early as next week, fed by ABC Radio Networks. T-R-I hears that one of the early clearances is Citadel talker WABC, New York (770). Conn has long-held ties with ABC News and was a contributor to the radio network's political coverage during the last presidential campaign. Suddenly, lots of folks in the "news and commentary" business..."

I interviewed Roe not too long ago at Chicago Radio Spotlight. If you'd like to read the interview, it's here.

Father Knows Nothing

I just posted my latest Father Knows Nothing column. I call this one "A message from Sean's attorney" and it involves the latest financial scandal...the mysterious disappearance of my money.